


Distance Means Nothing

by SapphyreLily, Your_Friendly_Neighborhood_Pigeon



Series: Tangled Threads of Fate [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Chatting & Messaging, College, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Life is unfair, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Sad Oikawa, Texting, chatfic, everyone is sad, nosy roommates, really just mentions of it, sad makki, slight sexual content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-11 18:23:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 60,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7903024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphyreLily/pseuds/SapphyreLily, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Your_Friendly_Neighborhood_Pigeon/pseuds/Your_Friendly_Neighborhood_Pigeon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Going to different universities means our bodies are apart, but our hearts will always be together.</p><p>[Alternatively: Deadlines, Sleepless Nights, and Texts]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hello College Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y E S we are back with twelve chapters this time (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧  
> We worked so hard ok but it was fun  
> You're in for a wild ride! We really hope you enjoy!

Hanamaki grips the strap of his bag, a tight smile on his lips as he gazes at the other three. His train leaves in ten minutes, and after he boards the train...he has no idea when he’ll see any of them again. Oikawa and Matsukawa leave thirty minutes after him, headed for Tokyo. Iwaizumi is staying, not wanting to make such a long trip when he could just stay home.

 

“I’ll miss you guys,” he chokes out, after trying and failing to clear his throat. He hates moments like these, where sadness rests on his shoulders, threatening to push him down down down until he’s buried under the Earth’s crust, left alone surrounded by his insecurities.

 

Because what if things go wrong? What if they decide that the distance is too much? What if they turn their backs on him, and decide that he really isn’t worth it? What if--

 

“Hiro,” Matsukawa says, offering up a small smile. “I’m going to miss you.” Then he reaches out, pulling Hanamaki into a tight hug. Hanamaki instantly lets go of the strap, hiding his face in the fabric of Matsukawa’s shirt.

 

He takes comfort in the warm arms wrapped securely around him, inhaling the familiar scent that screams _Issei_. He feels his shoulders droop, his whole body relaxing. That’s when two more pairs of arms wrap around him, each of them surrounding him with comfort and love and--

 

He’s really going to miss this.

 

Gently prying them off, he turns to hug Iwaizumi, then Oikawa, taking a few moments to memorize the feel of their arms wrapped snugly around his waist. After doing this, he takes a step back, glancing at his phone. He has three minutes left.

 

“You assholes better text me everyday.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“We have that one hundred day streak on Snapchat! There’s no way I’d let that streak die!”

 

“Who else will meme with me?”

 

Hanamaki cracks a smile, looking behind him as the train comes up. He hesitates for a moment before grabbing Iwaizumi’s shirt, tugging him forward so he can crush their lips together. It doesn’t last long, since he doesn’t have much time. He then quickly turns to Matsukawa, lifting himself on his toes so he can press their lips firmly together. Oikawa is next, their kiss desperate and full of promises that they’ll see each other the moment one of them has free time.

 

Then Hanamaki is stepping away, lifting his hand in a wave. He takes his two bags, one hanging on his shoulder, the other clutched tightly in his hand. He turns around, giving them one last smile before boarding the train.

 

~~~~~

 

Oikawa and Matsukawa’s train is next. They both turn to Iwaizumi, pained looks on their faces. They know they got the better end of the whole ordeal. They’d be able to see each other frequently, only being an hour away from each other.

 

Iwaizumi they’d get to see pretty often, too. He’ll only be two hours away by train, so it’s not all bad. They can still meet each other on weekends. But...they still won’t be able to see him a lot.

 

“Iwa-chan...” Oikawa sniffs, trying to keep a straight face. He kept up his façade for Hanamaki, but he's not sure he can make it through another goodbye.

 

Iwaizumi swiftly steps forward, pulling Oikawa into his arms. Oikawa instantly lets a sob escape his lips, clinging to Iwaizumi as if he’s some sort of lifeline. He feels a hand run through his already messy brown locks, whispering soothing words into his ear. He lets his eyes flutter close, straining his ears so he can memorize the smooth yet gruff voice of Iwaizumi.

 

Iwaizumi lifts his gaze to Matsukawa, nodding his head slightly in hopes that Matsukawa would understand. He does, stepping forward to wrap his own arms around the both of them. Oikawa openly lets his tears run down his cheeks, babbling nonsense as his body shakes.

 

Iwaizumi is the one to pull away from the hug, placing both of his hands on Oikawa’s cheeks. He swoops in for a kiss, and it’s gross and wet from Oikawa crying a second ago, but Iwaizumi can’t find it in himself to care. He won’t be able to do this for a while, so he’ll take what he can get.

 

When he pulls away, Oikawa offers up a weak smile, taking a step back so that Matsukawa can take his place.

 

Iwaizumi doesn’t waste time, tugging Matsukawa down by the collar of his shirt so he can press their lips together. The kiss is full of love and passion, both trying to convey their emotions through the movement of their lips.

 

Matsukawa breaks away for air, panting slightly as he gazes down at Iwaizumi. “I love you,” he mumbles, shuffling back to stand by Oikawa.

 

“I love you too!” Oikawa says, smile watery as tears threaten to spill again.

 

With a small huff, Iwaizumi smiles. “I love you both as well.”

 

They spend their last moments before the train pulls up together, and time flies when you’re with people you love. With one last group hug, Matsukawa and Oikawa grab their luggage, walking onto the train.

 

Iwaizumi watches them board, waving until their train is out of sight.

 

* * *

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I’ve been on this train for 4 hrs

 

 **[Takahiro]:** i slept for those 4 hrs

 

 **[Takahiro]:** but now im awake and bored

 

 **[Takahiro]:** u guys shld be in Tokyo now right?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** im talking to myself arent i

 

 **[Takahiro]:** i guess thts to be expected u guys r probably still settling in

 

 **[Tooru]:** ooohhh hello there!

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Tooru! How’s Tokyo?

 

 **[Tooru]:** _{one image attached}_

 

 **[Tooru]:** sorry im not your boyfriend

 

 **[Tooru]:** he passed out on the couch after setting up his room

 

 **[Takahiro]:** oh so ur his room mate?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** i hope u r bc if ur not that’d be very odd and i’d be v worried

 

 **[Tooru]:** yes I am! Don’t worry!

 

 **[Tooru]:** you may not remember me? But I’m Sugawara, from Karasuno? Number 2?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** oohhh

 

 **[Takahiro]:** refreshing-kun ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **[Tooru]:** please don’t call me that

 

 **[Takahiro]:** okok thats fair

 

 **[Takahiro]:** so how did Tooru react to u being his room mate?

 

 **[Tooru]:** well first he was shocked, then he hugged me, then he called dibs on the room I had already taken and threw all my stuff into the other room, then locked himself in his room for about an hour so that he could put everything away.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** oh wow

 

 **[Issei]:** lmao im not even surprised that sounds like him

 

 **[Tooru]:** oh, hello! You must be the other boyfriend :D

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Issseeeiiiiiiiiiiiiii

 

 **[Issei]:** Takaaaahhhhirrrrroooooo

 

 **[Issei]:** m’pal

 

 **[Takahiro]:** m’bro

 

 **[Issei]:** m’dude

 

 **[Takahiro]:** m’love

 

 **[Issei]:** thts gay

 

 **[Takahiro]:** i am gay

 

 **[Takahiro]:** for u babe ;)

 

 **[Issei]:** babe

 

 **[Takahiro]:** babe

 

 **[Hajime]:** Please stop.

 

 **[Tooru]:** Iwaizumi-san! Hello!

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Hajime :D

 

 **[Issei]:** Hajime has graced us with his presence

 

 **[Hajime]:** Hello Issei, Takahiro. How’s Tokyo and the train?

 

 **[Hajime]:** And hello Sugawara, it’s nice to speak to you again.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** the train is boring and theres a ccrying child five seats away and it wont stop crying

 

 **[Issei]:** Tokyos alright, I guess

 

 **[Issei]:** my roommate is cool tho

 

 **[Issei]:** captain from nekoma? I dont think we ever played them but i’ve heard of them

 

 **[Hajime]:** I’m glad you have a good roommate, and I’m sorry about the crying child.

 

 **[Tooru]:** how’s your college life so far Iwaizumi-kun?

 

 **[Hajime]:** Just Iwaizumi is fine

 

 **[Hajime]:** And its fine but...my roommate..

 

 **[Takahiro]:** who is it??

 

 **[Hajime]:**...Ushijima.

 

 **[Issei]:** oh my god

 

 **[Takahiro]:** i cant wait to see how Tooru reacts

 

 **[Tooru]:** I would love to see how reacts argtiorjgoeriszm sgb,re; n  rtsypo j

 

 **[Tooru]:** USHIWAKA IS UR ROOM MATE???

 

 **[Tooru]:** CHANGE ROOMMATES RN HAJIME

 

 **[Hajime]:** Sorry, I can’t.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** good luck hajime

 

 **[Tooru]:** HAJIME PLS I DONT WANT HIM TO CORRUPT YOU

 

 **[Hajime]:** Oh, I got to go. He wants to go eat dinner.

 

 **[Tooru]:** HAJIME DONT BETRAY ME

 

 **[Hajime]:** I’m sorry, he offered to pay.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** never turn down free food

 

 **[Issei]:** hajime is going on a date with ushiwaka

 

 **[Tooru]:** HAJIMEEE

 

 **[Hajime]:** It’s not a date, I don’t like him that way, and I love all of you too much anyways.

 

 **[Hajime]:** Now goodbye.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** goodbye<3

 

 **[Issei]:** be safe

 

 **[Issei]:** <3

 

 **[Tooru]:** HAJIME D:

 

 **[Tooru]:** </3

 

* * *

 

 **[Hajime]:** Did you make it safely, Takahiro?

 

 **[Issei]:** oh yeah you should be there by now

 

 **[Tooru]:** ….guys it’s 9

 

 **[Hajime]:** Yeah?

 

 **[Tooru]:** at night

 

 **[Tooru]:** he got there an hour ago and it was still dark

 

 **[Issei]:** oh shit

 

 **[Hajime]:** Fuck.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Im fine!! Dont worry!!

 

 **[Hajime]:** Oh, thank god.

 

 **[Issei]:** u got there ok?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** yeah! Weird coincidence but I ran into Bokuto Koutarou, former captain from Fukurodoni

 

 **[Takahiro]:** and he walked with me to the dorms

 

 **[Takahiro]:** n crazy enough hes my roommate

 

 **[Tooru]:** fate is on ur side!!!

 

 **[Issei]:** im glad ur okay

 

 **[Hajime]:** Glad it all worked out!

 

 **[Takahiro]:** so anyways how was ur date

 

 **[Hajime]:** It was not a date, I wouldn’t do that to you guys.

 

 **[Tooru]:** :| is he as bad as I remember

 

 **[Hajime]:** He’s blunt, yes, but he’s not that bad.

 

 **[Tooru]:** hes  horrible!!!!

 

 **[Hajime]:** Tooru, give the guy a chance.

 

 **[Tooru]:** no!!!

 

 **[Tooru]:** im going to bed gn ily you all

 

 **[Issei]:** one way to make Oikawa Tooru go to bed: tell him to give ushiwaka a chance

 

 **[Issei]:** this method is the only method tht works

 

 **[Hajime]:** Wow, I wish I knew about this method earlier.

 

 **[Hajime]:** And goodnight, I love you too.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Sleep well!! Love you<3

 

 **[Issei]:** dont let the bed bugs bite<3

 

* * *

 

 **[Issei]:** wha wha what did she sayy

 

 **[Takahiro]:** mmmm whatcha sayyyy

 

 **[Issei]:** mmmmmm tht u only meant well

 

 **[Tooru]:** well ofc u did

 

 **[Issei]:** mmmm whatcha sayyy

 

 **[Hajime]:** Guys, please.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** mmmmmm tht iTS ALL FOR THE BEST

 

 **[Tooru]:** OFC IT IS

 

 **[Hajime]:** Aren't you guys in class??

 

 **[Issei]:** I was wrong for so long

 

 **[Tooru]:** only trynig to please myself

 

 **[Takahiro]:** (myself)

 

 **[Hajime]:** Please pay attention to your classes.

 

 **[Issei]:** girl I was caught up in her lust

 

 **[Tooru]:** when i dnt rlly want no one else

 

 **[Takahiro]:** so no I kno I should've treated u better

 

 **[Issei]:** but me n u were were meant to last forever

 

_Cut for length_

 

 **[Hajime]:** Why do I even try anymore?

 

 **[Tooru]:** it's more fun when u join in

 

 **[Hajime]:** Maybe next time.  

 

* * *

 

 **[Hajime]:** It’s 11pm

 

 **[Hajime]:** Tooru, go to bed

 

 **[Takahiro]:** so i can stay up? :D

 

 **[Issei]:** I want to sleeeeep goddamnit

 

 **[Tooru]:** no way suga-chan agreed to watch Alien Vs Predator with me

 

 **[Tooru]:** u cant stop me from miyagi  >:D

 

 **[Hajime]:** Damn it

 

 **[Hajime]:** I’ll find a way, don’t underestimate me

 

 **[Tooru]:** id like to see u try

 

 **[Tooru]:** (♡´౪`♡)

 

 **[Hajime]:** Takahiro, go to bed

 

 **[Hajime]:** Issei, why can’t you sleep?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** noPE

 

 **[Takahiro]:** bokutos takinf me owl hunting

 

 **[Issei]:** kuroo’s shit is all over i cant see the floor

 

 **[Tooru]:** wow u two are fast friends

 

 **[Issei]:** i need to see the floor to pack and find my room

 

 **[Issei]:** find my shit*

 

 **[Hajime]:** Takahiro, no

 

 **[Takahiro]:** takahiro, yes

 

 **[Takahiro]:** anw well be back soon, he says theres a tree right at our balcony so i wont have to go out in the dark

 

 **[Hajime]:** Please be careful

 

 **[Hajime]:** Issei, you can pack tomorrow. Just go to sleep

 

 **[Issei]:** i cANt

 

 **[Issei]:** im almost done i swear

 

 **[Issei]:** i wnt to sleep but i ned to shower n FIND THE FLOOR

 

 **[Tooru]:** uh

 

 **[Takahiro]:** babe i thnk u nd sleep

 

 **[Issei]:** NO

 

 **[Issei]:** JUS A BIT M ORE I SWEAR THIS IS THE KAST OF OT

 

 **[Hajime]:** Shower and sleep early, okay?

 

 **[Issei]:** i wish

 

 **[Hajime]:** The other two, too

 

 **[Takahiro]:** yea yea yea

 

 **[Takahiro]:** _{one image attached}_

 

 **[Takahiro]:** my camera suc k s

 

 **[Tooru]:** i dnt see anything

 

 **[Hajime]:** Me neither

 

 **[Takahiro]:** thts why it sucjs

 

 **[Issei]:** i am going to murder kuroo one say

 

 **[Issei]:** its bn 5 hrs i cant takw this mess

 

 **[Hajime]:** Please just shower and sleep

 

 **[Hajime]:** You’ll pack better after a shower

 

 **[Issei]:** i am DYING

 

 **[Issei]:** i better go before i mak woese deciisions

 

 **[Issei]:** goodnight

 

 **[Hajime]:** Goodnight

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Goodnight!

 

 **[Takahiro]:** make good decisions (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **[Issei]:** hiro i love u but i swear i will kill anyone rn pls shut up

 

 **[Tooru]:** goodnight n rest well!  <3

 

 **[Issei]:** tks

 

* * *

 

 **[Takahiro]:** i wnt u to fuck me againt the wll

 

 **[Hajime]:** It doesn’t work if you type like that.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** okok

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I want you to fuck me against the wall, with your strong arms holding me up.

 

 **[Issei]:** haha then what? ;)

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ISSEI

 

 **[Takahiro]:** god now i gotta start over again

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I want you to fuck me against the wall

 

 **[Tooru]:** hholy shit wht is happening

 

 **[Takahiro]:** SSSHH gdi

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I want you to fuck me against the wall

 

 **[Takahiro]:** So hard and fast that I can barely stand up

 

 **[Takahiro]:** All while you mark me as yours

 

 **[Takahiro]:** And after that, we move to the bedroom for round two.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** You whisper all the dirty things you want to do to me while tying me down.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Then you move slowly so that I begin to beg

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Without warning you thrust into me

 

 **[Takahiro]:** You move at a brutal pace, reducing me to a pile of goo as I scream your name.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Your hands travel to my neck, wrapping around it so that I find it hard to breathe.

 

 **[Hajime]:** OKAY, I THINK THAT’S ENOUGH

 

 **[Hajime]:** I, uh, fuck, I gotta go.

 

 **[Issei]:** lmao ten bucks says he ran to the restroom

 

 **[Hajime]:** Hello, this is Ushijima. Iwaizumi just ran to the restroom, and I’ve never seen him move so fast. Is he okay?

 

 **[Tooru]:** AHAHAHAHA

 

 **[Tooru]:** get the fuck off Hajime’s phone

 

 **[Issei]:** lmao good job ‘Hiro

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ty i try

 

* * *

 

 **[Takahiro]:** hey hey HEYYY

 

 **[Hajime]:** Um, hi?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** HI IWAIZUMI-KUN!! I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU!!

 

 **[Issei]:** ohohoho (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **[Tooru]:** is this the owl man?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** YES I LOVE OWLS

 

 **[Takahiro]:** AND HELLO OIKAWA-SAN AND MATSUKAWA-KUN

 

 **[Takahiro]:** IVE HEARD A LOT ABOUT U GUYS

 

 **[Issei]:** just curious but y do u have Taka’s phone??

 

 **[Takahiro]:** HES WORKING ON A DRAWINF RN N HE GABE ME HIS PONE SO HE WOULDNT GET DISTRACTED

 

 **[Hajime]:** Ah, okay. So, how are you Bokuto-san?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** IM GR8

 

 **[Takahiro]:** AKAAASHI IS COMING DOWN TO VISIT SOONAND IM EXCITED

 

 **[Issei]:** Akaashi?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** MY BF

 

 **[Takahiro]:** HE WAS MY SETTER VUT HES ALSO A THRD YEAR RN SO HES NOT IN COLLEGE

 

 **[Takahiro]:** HES V PRETTY

 

 **[Tooru]:** I bet I'm prettier

 

 **[Hajime]:** Don't be rude, Tooru.

 

 **[Issei]:** it's probably tru tho

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ID SAY AKASSHI IS PRETTIER

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ID SHOW U A PIC BUT THIS ISNTY PHOMR

 

 **[Issei]:** so anyways wht is hiro drawing?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I CNT REMEMBER

 

 **[Takahiro]:** NVM I JUST WENT TO SEE N HES IN THE ZONE IT'S CRAZY HE DIDMT SEE ME

 

 **[Takahiro]:** HES DRAWING A CAT

 

 **[Tooru]:** wht does the cat look like?

 

 **[Issei]:** y is he drawing a cat

 

 **[Takahiro]:** HIS ASSIGNMENT WAS ANIMALS SO

 

 **[Takahiro]:** N IT'S NOT COLOTED BUT IT HAS THREE STRIPES ON ITS BACK AD A CIRLE AROUND ITS EYE

 

 **[Hajime]:** _{one image attached}_

 

 **[Hajime]:** Does it look like this?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** YEA

 

 **[Tooru]:** awww he's drawing Butterscotch

 

 **[Takahiro]:** BUTTERSCOTCH?? THTS SO CUTE

 

 **[Takahiro]:** HES TAKING A BREAK GTG SHIT HE SAID NT TO TXT U GUYS

 

 **[Issei]:** rip Bokuto

 

* * *

 

 **[Tooru]:** stupid Dai-chan and Suga-chan (¬_¬)

 

 **[Issei]:** wht happened

 

 **[Tooru]:** Skype sex

 

 **[Tooru]:** I could hear them last night and I am disturbed

 

 **[Tooru]:** suga is v vocal!!!

 

 **[Issei]:** lmao rip

 

 **[Takahiro]:** y did he do tht to you??

 

 **[Tooru]:** bc SOMEONE txted him telling him to force me to go to my room

 

 **[Hajime]:** I did what needed to be done. You needed to sleep.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** #betrayed

 

 **[Issei]:** get rekted

 

 **[Tooru]:** I only slept so i wouldn't have to hear them going at it

 

 **[Hajime]:** Then it worked didn't it?

 

 **[Tooru]:** IDC IF IT WORKED IM SCARRED

 

 **[Tooru]:** I thought u loved me :(

 

 **[Hajime]:** I do love you, that's why I did it

 

 **[Takahiro]:** sounds fake but ok

 

* * *

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I got a job

 

 **[Issei]:** y

 

 **[Takahiro]:** bc I need to get money so bo and I dnt starve

 

 **[Takahiro]:** and so I can save up for a train ticket

 

 **[Tooru]:** isn't that stressful tho??

 

 **[Takahiro]:** eh

 

 **[Hajime]:** Just don't over work yourself, okay?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I won't dnt worry

 

 **[Takahiro]:** so what's happening in ur guys lives?

 

 **[Issei]:** I got a 100% on my creative writing piece B)

 

 **[Tooru]:** what really

 

 **[Takahiro]:** thts amazing!!

 

 **[Hajime]:** Congratulations!

 

 **[Issei]:** thanks

 

 **[Issei]:** it took a lot of effort n I thought it was lame

 

 **[Issei]:** but then Kuroo said it was good and so I trust him and I guess I'm glad I trusted him

 

 **[Issei]:** so what bout u,Tooru? Hajime?

 

 **[Tooru]:** I became a starter on the volleyball team today!!!

 

 **[Takahiro]:** thats awesome!!! Congrats!

 

 **[Hajime]:** Way to go!

 

 **[Issei]:** we knew u could do it!

 

 **[Tooru]:** yea!!!

 

 **[Tooru]:** so hajime wbu

 

 **[Hajime]:** nothing exciting just a lot of studying

 

 **[Hajime]:** since I'm still close to home I went and visited Butterscotch and my parents

 

 **[Hajime]:** Butterscotch misses you all.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I MISS HIMTOO

 

 **[Takahiro]:** give him a pat for me when u see him next

 

 **[Issei]:** same pls

 

 **[Tooru]:** hug him for me

 

 **[Hajime]:** Will do

 

* * *

 

 **[Issei]:** Hello

 

 **[Tooru]:** Issei! How are you?

 

 **[Issei]** : ...I’m not Issei

 

 **[Tooru]** : who r u???

 

 **[Issei]:** ...I’m Kozume

 

 **[Issei]:** Kuroo’s busy so he gave me this phone to hack

 

 **[Issei]:** I think this must be Issei’s

 

 **[Takahiro]:** damn straight

 

 **[Hajime]:** How do you not know whose phone you were hacking?

 

 **[Tooru]:** how’d u even havk issei’s phone??

 

 **[Takahiro]:** NOOOOO HES KILLED ISSEI

 

 **[Issei]:** No I didn’t

 

 **[Issei]:** I’ve never seen Issei’s phone before

 

 **[Tooru]:** youre looking at it now?

 

 **[Issei]:** I am

 

 **[Issei]:** But this is only the second time I visited Kuroo

 

 **[Takahiro]:** OH

 

 **[Takahiro]:** YOURE KENMA

 

 **[Takahiro]:** KUROOS BF

 

 **[Issei]:** I didn’t tell you my name

 

 **[Takahiro]:** bo talks about u somtimes

 

 **[Takahiro]:** he thinks ure scary cos yure too quiet

 

 **[Issei]:**...Bokuto is scary

 

 **[Issei]:** He’s too loud

 

 **[Issei]:** I prefer Keiji

 

 **[Takahiro]:** im gonna tell him hell be so sad

 

 **[Issei]:** Please don’t

 

 **[Issei]:** Keiji might kill me

 

 **[Hajime]:** Who’s Keiji?

 

 **[Issei]:** Bokuto’s boyfriend

 

 **[Takahiro]:** akaashi

 

 **[Takahiro]:** bo’s actually right about him being beautiful

 

 **[Takahiro]:** hes like issei AND tooru together

 

 **[Tooru]:** makki r u saying you dont love us anymor D:

 

 **[Takahiro]:** wht no

 

 **[Takahiro]:** hes pretty but i like u guys as separate ppl

 

 **[Issei]:** _{one image attached}_

 

 **[Hajime]:** What

 

 **[Tooru]:** ...he’s pretty

 

 **[Tooru]:** i dont like him

 

 **[Takahiro]:** y is ther a pic of akaashi in issei’s phone?

 

 **[Issei]:** I sent a picture from my phone to his

 

 **[Issei]:** Relax, it wasn’t there before.

 

 **[Issei]:** Oh, Issei’s back

 

 **[Issei]:** He can’t find his phone

 

 **[Issei]:** I wonder how long it’ll take him to find out I’m holding it

 

 **[Tooru]:** kozume-kun ure kind of sadistic arent u

 

 **[Takahiro]:** he is

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ive heard him talking to akaashi

 

 **[Hajime]:** And what happened?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** tey control bo and kuroo

 

 **[Takahiro]:** not the other way round

 

 **[Hajime]:** It’s always the quiet ones

 

 **[Issei]:** I agree

 

 **[Issei]:** Oh Issei’s seen me

 

 **[Issei]:** Bye

 

 **[Tooru]:** bye!

 

 **[Hajime]:** Bye

 

 **[Takahiro]:** nice to meet u kenma

 

 **[Issei]:** hi guys

 

 **[Issei]:** did kenma hack me

 

 **[Takahiro]:** yes

 

 **[Tooru]:** read up

 

 **[Issei]:**...oh

 

 **[Issei]:** well at least he’s civil to you guys

 

 **[Issei]:** kuroo would be an ass about it

 

 **[Hajime]:** Didn’t you say he was nice?

 

 **[Issei]:** Well yes

 

 **[Issei]:** but hes such a nerd u wouldnt believe

 

 **[Issei]:** he knows the full names of chemicals and uses them instead of the formula

 

 **[Issei]:** he loves chemistry so much the nerd

 

 **[Takahiro]:** so u like him

 

 **[Issei]:** hes decent

 

 **[Issei]:** i will nvr betray you guys for the likes of him

 

 **[Hajime]:** Aww

 

 **[Tooru]:** aww

 

 **[Takahiro]:** come to kyoto now so i can kiss you

 

 **[Issei]:** ৲( ᵒ ૩ᵕ )৴♡*৹

 

 **[Issei]:** until I get there u can make do with that

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ill treasure it forever

 

 **[Issei]:** my love

 

 **[Takahiro]:** babe

 

 **[Issei]:** sugarcakdes

 

 **[Takahiro]:** honeybunch

 

 **[Tooru]:** i hv a question tjo

 

 **[Hajime]:** Me too but Tooru can go first

 

 **[Tooru]** : Why do you call him kenma instead of kozume?

 

 **[Tooru]:** seems a bit intimate

 

 **[Issei]:** Ah, that

 

 **[Takahiro]:** kenma doesn’t really like people to use his last name

 

 **[Issei]:** even nekoma’s coach calls him kenma

 

 **[Tooru]:** oh

 

 **[Takahiro]:** was someone jealous? ;)

 

 **[Tooru]:** no! ofc not

 

 **[Tooru]:** well ok a little

 

 **[Issei]:** well ure  not wrong

 

 **[Issei]:** kenma’s pretty cute

 

 **[Hajime]:** What

 

 **[Tooru]:** what

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ye he is

 

 **[Issei]:** like a cat

 

 **[Takahiro]:** the shyest cat ever

 

 **[Issei]:** i miss butterscotch

 

 **[Takahiro]:** go pet kenma

 

 **[Issei]:** i cant

 

 **[Hajime]:** Don’t pet Kenma

 

 **[Hajime]:** He’s human, not a cat

 

 **[Tooru]:** evn ur calling him kenma?

 

 **[Hajime]:** I can’t unsee the cat image

 

 **[Hajime]:** Even though all I see is Butterscotch

 

 **[Issei]:** well ur not wrong

 

 **[Issei]:** kenma is a pudding head

 

 **[Tooru]:** a what?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** bleached hair, black roots

 

 **[Takahiro]:** n hes got thes small gold cat eyes

 

 **[Issei]:** a very cute cat

 

 **[Tooru]:** stop talking abt kenma

 

 **[Hajime]:** Tooru, are you actually jealous?

 

 **[Tooru]:** no

 

 **[Tooru]:** refreshing-kun is cute too

 

 **[Takahiro]:** u dnt actually think tht

 

 **[Issei]:** u dont like his hair

 

 **[Hajime]:** You don’t like his Skype habits

 

 **[Tooru]:** fine ok i hate him

 

 **[Tooru]:** but not everyday

 

 **[Tooru]:** someone hasd to fo groceriws

 

 **[Tooru]:** oh hes back

 

 **[Hajime]:** I bet he forgot the milk bread again

 

 **[Issei]:** ohh man

 

 **[Takahiro]:** shit is going DOWN

 

 **[Tooru]:** HE FORGOT THE MILK BREAD

 

 **[Tooru]:** I SWEAR HE DOES IT ON PURPOSE

 

 **[Hajime]:** Called it

 

 **[Issei]:** i feel so proud everytiem

 

 **[Takahiro]:** same

 

 **[Takahiro]:** but u kno

 

 **[Takahiro]:** hajime what was ur question

 

 **[Tooru]:** o yea wht was it

 

 **[Hajime]:** Oh, nothing

 

 **[Hajime]:** It was the same as Tooru’s

 

 **[Hajime]:** Forget it

 

* * *

 

 **[Hajime]:** The bed calls. It wants a human to hug.

 

 **[Tooru]:** iwa-chan wtf

 

 **[Hajime]:** You said to text you to go to sleep before 11pm

 

 **[Issei]:** I knew it

 

 **[Hajime]:** What

 

 **[Issei]:** you had to appear sometime

 

 **[Hajime]:** Well I'm on my bed now, so I figured I might as well do it

 

 **[Takahiro]:** wht are u doin in bed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **[Hajime]:** Go to sleep

 

 **[Hajime]:** The vines will still be there tomorrow

 

 **[Tooru]:** hw did u no

 

 **[Tooru]:** D:

 

 **[Hajime]:** Suga sent me a snap

 

 **[Issei]:** how could you snap Suga and not us

 

 **[Issei]:** im offended

 

 **[Takahiro]:** im drweing wait lemme finish if

 

 **[Hajime]:** Kuroo is snapping Kenma and he wants you to sleep too

 

 **[Hajime]:** Makki, Bokuto will come force you to bed in ten minutes

 

 **[Hajime]:** Oikawa, Suga says if you are going to stay up late, he will give you a reason to stay up late

 

 **[Issei]:** ohohoho

 

 **[Takahiro]:** OHOHOHO

 

 **[Tooru]:** oh no

 

 **[Tooru]:** i need to go

 

 **[Tooru]:** I dont evr want to hear another sex Skype

 

 **[Tooru]:** suga-chan is very vocal

 

 **[Tooru]:** also sawamura has a daddy kink

 

 **[Issei]:** you already told us that

 

 **[Issei]:** oh wow

 

 **[Takahiro]:** should have expected it of karasuno’s dadchi tbh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **[Tooru]:** nvr again

 

 **[Tooru]:** gdnite

 

 **[Hajime]:** Goodnight Tooru  <3

 

 **[Tooru]:** love you toi

 

 **[Tooru]:** I HEAR SKYOE BYE

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ...aaaaaannnndddd hes gone

 

 **[Hajime]:** You too Makki

 

 **[Hajime]:** Bokuto says he'll stay up with you if you don't sleep

 

 **[Takahiro]:** thts gr8 I needed a pal

 

 **[Hajime]:** Makki no

 

 **[Takahiro]:** makki yes

 

 **[Hajime]:** I'll drop akaashi a message

 

 **[Takahiro]:** hw do u even have akaashis no.???

 

 **[Hajime]:** He called me one day for your number when he couldn't find Bokuto

 

 **[Hajime]:** I don't know how he got my number

 

 **[Hajime]:** Maybe Kenma

 

 **[Hajime]:** Issei, I see you reading these, go to bed

 

 **[Issei]:** but I had an idea

 

 **[Issei]:** it might disappear if I dont write

 

 **[Hajime]:** Fine.

 

 **[Hajime]:** I have an 8am class, I'll sleep first

 

 **[Hajime]:** Goodnight, rest well

 

 **[Hajime]:** Love you guys  <3

 

 **[Issei]:** ...maybe ill sleep early after all

 

 **[Takahiro]:** same. Ill have gtrat dreams now

 

* * *

 

 **[Tooru]:** young man there's no need to feel down

 

 **[Hajime]:**???

 

 **[Tooru]:** I said young man

 

 **[Tooru]:** pick urself off the ground

 

 **[Hajime]:** Wha?

 

 **[Issei]:** I said young man cause ur in a new town

 

 **[Hajime]:** is this another song?

 

 **[Tooru]:** there's no need to be unhappy

 

 **[Hajime]:** this sounds like a nice song

 

 **[Issei]:** young man

 

 **[Takahiro]:** there's a place u can go

 

 **[Tooru]:** I said young man

 

 **[Issei]:** when ur short on ur dough

 

 **[Issei]:** u can stay there

 

 **[Takahiro]:** and I'm sure u will find

 

 **[Tooru]:** many ways to have a good time

 

 **[Hajime]:** What's the name of this song? It sounds really nice.

 

 **[Issei]:** ITS FUN TOSTAY AT TGE

 

 **[Tooru]:** Y

 

 **[Takahiro]:** M

 

 **[Issei]:** C

 

 **[Takahiro]:** A

 

 **[Hajime]:** god fucking damnit

 

_Cut for length_

 

* * *

 

 **[Tooru]:** guys I'm not sure what to do? Oikawa is just on the couch crying. I gave him milk bread but he won't even eat it?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Suga?

 

 **[Tooru]:** Yeah, it's me.

 

 **[Issei]:** What happened?

 

 **[Hajime]:** Who am I killing?

 

 **[Tooru]:** well, he found one of his old skrts, and he decided to wear it

 

 **[Tooru]:** long story short, peopke laughed and made fun of him

 

 **[Tooru]:** people*

 

 **[Takahiro]:** holy fuck WHAT

 

 **[Hajime]:** Who was it? I'm going to fucking murder them.

 

 **[Tooru]:** uh, it was more than one...but I didn't get their names…

 

 **[Tooru]:** anyways, what do I do? He's just hugging a pillow and looking off into the distance

 

 **[Takahiro]:** can we call him?

 

 **[Issei]:** or at least just tell him we’re here if he needs to talk?

 

 **[Tooru]:** hold on, I'm giving the phone back.

 

 **[Tooru]:** srry guys I don't feel like talking

 

 **[Hajime]:** Are you okay?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Is there anything we can do?

 

 **[Tooru]:** I'll be fine

 

 **[Tooru]:** it just rlly hurts

 

 **[Issei]:** Tooru, I love you. You're perfect just the way you are

 

 **[Takahiro]:** don't listen to the bastards who don't know what they’re talking about

 

 **[Hajime]:** You're amazing and talented and we all love you

 

 **[Tooru]:** ;—; thank you guys

 

 **[Tooru]:** I'll be fine by morning

 

 **[Tooru]:** and I love u all as well

 

 **[Takahiro]:** No need to thank us

 

 **[Hajime]:** It's just the truth.

 

 **[Tooru]:** can we talk about something else?

 

 **[Hajime]:** You sure you don't want to call?

 

 **[Tooru]:** yeah

 

 **[Issei]:** so kuroo wants to get his eyebrows done

 

 **[Issei]:** n he's dragging me cos kenma ran away

 

 **[Takahiro]:** omg

 

 **[Tooru]:** omg

 

 **[Tooru]:** I'll need photos when ur done

 

 **[Issei]:** yeah ofc I mean who knows maybe I'll be prettier than u after

 

 **[Hajime]:** How come Kuroo could convince you to try that when Tooru couldn't?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** gd point

 

 **[Tooru]:** yea why

 

 **[Tooru]:** ٩(๑`^´๑)۶

 

 **[Issei]:** bcos now the only one I need to be prettier than is kuroo

 

 **[Issei]:** its harder to be pretty when u guys are in the same room as me ya know?

 

 **[Tooru]:** (＠_＠;)

 

 **[Takahiro]:** thts not true

 

 **[Hajime]:** You are good looking in your own way

 

 **[Hajime]:** Have I ever mentioned how handsome you are?

 

 **[Issei]:** uh

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ha hes speechless

 

 **[Tooru]:** hw come iwa chan can kill people with his words this isnt faur

 

 **[Takahiro]:** u shut it

 

 **[Takahiro]:** just how many fangirls do u hv

 

 **[Issei]:** ha

 

 **[Takahiro]:** HE IS RISEN

 

 **[Issei]:** I'll be around as long as I can torment Tooru

 

 **[Tooru]:** meanies ٩(๑`^´๑)۶

 

 **[Hajime]:** So when are you going with Kuroo to get your brows done?

 

 **[Issei]:** nxt week I think?

 

 **[Issei]:** ill let u kno

 

 **[Takahiro]:** k

 

* * *

 

 **[Issei]:** when is everyone free

 

 **[Takahiro]:** well im usually free at night

 

 **[Issei]:** good, same

 

 **[Tooru]:** after volleyball practice, why?

 

 **[Hajime]:** At night as well for me.

 

 **[Issei]:** alright skype call tomorrow night then?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** fuck yeah

 

 **[Tooru]:** tht works for me!!

 

 **[Hajime]:** Sounds like a plan.

  


~~~~~

 

“...so then, I was telling Suga-chan that he _really_ needs to be quieter about his Skype habits because I could hear him from the laundry room, and he tells me to mind my own business because that’s how he gets me to sleep early!” Oikawa folds his arms, pouting at the screen. “Iwa-chan, it’s all your fault, now I have to be subjected to the details of Suga-chan’s very active sex life _no matter where I am on campus_.”

 

Hanamaki and Matsukawa roar with laughter while Iwazumi shrugs. “Whatever works, you know.”

 

“Iwa-chaaaannn. Why are you so mean to meeee.”

 

“Tooru, have you really never tried getting back at him with bad Skype habits of your own?” Hanamaki smirks, resting his head on his fist.

 

“It doesn’t even have to be Skype,” Matsukawa adds. “You could call one of us up from the privacy of your room and we could have a little _talk_.”

 

“Issei, Issei, “ Hanamaki shakes his head. “If Tooru wants retribution, shouldn’t he do it, I don’t know, somewhere public, where Sugawara can actually see and hear him?”

 

Matsukawa’s eyes gleam. “I like the way you think.”

 

“That’s me. Always willing to please.”

 

“Whoa whoa whoa, slow down!” Oikawa waves his arms frantically while Iwaizumi hides his red face in his hands. “Issei, I am _not_ picking up one of _your_ kinks just to get back at Suga-chan.”

 

“You won’t? Aww.” Matsukawa tilts his head, pouting at the screen. “And here I was, thinking that we could use Skype for some _other purposes_ tonight…”

 

“Babe, I would do it for you. Bo’s out with Akaashi, and I’m not sure when he’ll be back.” Hanamaki leans close to the camera, licking his bottom lip. “Think you could talk to me for that long?”

 

“Hmm, I don’t know.” Matsukawa purrs, eyes sliding to half-mast. “Kuroo said he’ll be back in an hour, but that was quite a while ago. We could start now, if you’d like?”

 

“Mmm, baby, talk dirty to me~”

 

“Okay, okay, enough.” Iwaizumi finally emerges from behind his hands, his face remarkably crimson. “Some of us have roommates that are incredibly dense and would not understand what is going on, but I _do not_ want to pop a boner when Ushijima could walk in at any time--”

 

“You called for me?”

 

There’s an impressive figure looming up behind Iwaizumi, and the three of them swear they have never seen their boyfriend turn white so fast. Oikawa scowls at his screen while the other two watch in amusement as Ushijima peers at them.

 

“Oh, a Skype call. Hello, Oikawa.”

 

“Ushiwaka-chan. Please _leave_.”

 

“But I live in this apartment as well.” Ushijima looks mildly confused, before his eyes flick to the other two screens. “Oh, Matsukawa. Hello. And to you too, you with the pink hair.” He turns to Iwaizumi, asking in too loud a whisper, “Who is he, again?”

 

Iwaizumi replies with all the patience of a saint. “That’s Hanamaki, my other boyfriend.”

 

“Oh.” Ushijima frowns. “Why haven't I seen him before? Hasn’t he visited yet? I thought you were supposed to go out with someone you date.” There is a pause as Ushijima appraises them, his eyes sharp. “Satori visits me every weekend.”

 

There is silence in the call.

 

(That's true. That's _true_ . Why hasn't he visited? Or why haven't _they_ visited? Did they not care? Were they growing apart? It's only their first year, and they have so much free time--)

 

Hanamaki slaps himself mentally and cracks a weak smile. “I study in Kyoto. It’s a bit far.”

 

Ushijima’s gaze is the sharpened tip of a dagger. “Is it? I would think that one would travel to visit their loved ones no matter the distance.”

 

A bright ringing comes from Iwaizumi’s end of the call, and his roommate straightens up. “That must be Satori. Have a good chat.” He claps Iwaizumi on the shoulder and leaves.

 

The front door opens, excited jabbering that must be Tendou floating through to them. Ushijima replies and the door slams shut, leaving the four of them frozen where they are, staring at each other. Everyone is petrified by the words Ushijima threw at them, no-one wanting to the the first to speak.

 

Hanamaki is a mess of panicked nerves.

 

(What does he say what does he say what does he say--)

 

( _I'm too poor to visit_ sounds bad, and so does _I barely have enough time left after school and homework and work._ )

 

(But it's the truth, and they are in a relationship, they love each other, they would understand--)

 

(What if they _don't_ understand?)

 

Hanamaki breaks their stalemate by forcing a smile, even though his heart is sinking. “Ushijima's got a point. I'm sorry I never visit.”

 

(That's good, that's _fine_ , 'sorry’ works for anything.)

 

Immediately the rest of them shake their heads, speaking over each other in a rush.

 

“It’s not your fault--”

 

“School’s really busy--”

 

“We never came to visit you either--”

 

“Tickets are expensive, we know you're saving for them--”

 

They’re all trying so hard to reassure him, to justify themselves, that Hanamaki feels a little sad. They're right, of course. All those are real reasons.

 

But he still feels sad. He can't explain it.

 

Maybe it's how they are of the same mind, all desperate to reaffirm and calm him. Because when they stand together like that, it shows how well they know each other, how they can react and add on to the others’ speech without the original losing its meaning.

 

(Somewhere inside him, a voice reminds him that he knows them that well too.)

 

(He's temporarily ignoring that voice.)

 

He feels a little lost and adrift, because they've seen each other recently, and while absence makes the heart grow fonder, time strengthens bonds.

 

(He knows that Oikawa and Matsukawa meet up twice a week, and that they see Iwaizumi once a fortnight. As for him -- well, they’ve had a total of four Skype calls since their separation, and that was the most amount of time he got to lay eyes on them.)

 

(He misses them. The feel of them, the sound of their voices, their warm hands and the look in their eyes--)

 

He doesn't like being without them. It's like there's a limb missing, like a fundamental part of him went bust.

 

( _Ah, loneliness, my old friend--_ )

 

(He really needs to stop thinking like that.)

 

It almost feels as if he’s standing on the outside of their relationship, as he watches them talk and laugh with each other, go on dates and spend time together. It feels like a bubble is surrounding the three of them, closing them off, and while he is close enough to touch it, its silken surface is just out of reach.

 

It’s lonely most of all because he knows it’s not their fault, it’s _his_ , for choosing a university so far away, for picking a job that has flexible hours but not nearly enough to save for a two-way ticket to visit and return.

 

(He’s getting there, he _is_ , but he still needs a little longer.)

 

(Just a little longer.)

 

So he pulls out his bravest smile and raises his hands in a placating gesture. “Guys, it’s okay. We have time. School’s busy now, so it’s better that we focus on class anyway.”

 

He tries to avoid their gazes, but Oikawa’s eyes catch his attention, mournful chocolate that tear at his heart. “Taka, are you sure? We can make plans. My school has a holiday coming up, I could come visit--”

 

Hanamaki shakes his head quickly. “No, that doesn't make sense. _I'm_ the only one that's so far away, I should go up to Tokyo to meet you guys. Besides,” he plasters on a smile, “If I don't go back to Miyagi, I can't hug Butterscotch.”

 

They don't look convinced, so he changes the subject before they can dwell on it further. “So, did you hear what Bo did yesterday? Issei, I know you know, so shush.”

 

Matsukawa picks up on his desperate tone and nods slightly, cocking his head as a smirk makes its way onto his face. “Oh man, that was legendary. You can't stop me, I'm going to tell them.”

 

“No, shush, they have to ask first. This will go down in history, but they need to be _listening._ ”

 

“I wanna hear!” Oikawa perks up, hanging off the edge of his seat.

 

Hanamaki leans forward, chin in hand, evil glint in his eye. “Well, you see…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Safyre's Tumblr: [Sapphyrelily](sapphyrelily.tumblr.com)
> 
> Jamie's Tumblr: [Seijouho](seijouho.tumblr.com)
> 
> Songs used for this chapter:  
> Whatcha Say by Jason Derulo  
> Y.M.C.A by Village People
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! σ(≧ε≦ｏ)


	2. College Things and The Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 2! (^^)v 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it!

**[Hajime]:** Just a random question

 

 **[Takahiro]:** hm?

 

 **[Tooru]:** yes?

 

 **[Issei]:** hmmm??

 

 **[Hajime]:** If i were to get a tattoo

 

 **[Hajime]:** Not saying that I am!

 

 **[Hajime]:** But _if_ I did

 

 **[Hajime]:** What should I get?

 

 **[Issei]:** Please get a tattoo

 

 **[Tooru]:** p l e a s e

 

 **[Hajime]:** I mean, I’m thinking of it? But what? And where?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Get something like, idk, a cherry blossom tree???

 

 **[Issei]:** thts too generic

 

 **[Takahiro]:** damn u right

 

 **[Tooru]:** u should get our names tattooed (((;;;;

 

 **[Hajime]:** Hmm, maybe.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** wait rlly

 

 **[Hajime]:** Yeah, why not?

 

 **[Issei]:** excuse me i need a moment

 

 **[Tooru]:** hajime i was kidding u dont have to

 

 **[Hajime]:** But now that you said it, I kind of want to?

 

 **[Hajime]:** And Takahiro could design my other tattoo?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** u would trsut me with something like tht??????

 

 **[Hajime]:** Yeah?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** i need a moment

 

 **[Takahiro]:** but ye s ill do it

 

 **[Tooru]:** my name better be first since ive known u the longest

 

 **[Hajime]:** I’m not even sure when, or even if I’ll actually go through with it. So we’ll see.

 

* * *

 

 **[Hajime]:** Time for the beds

 

 **[Hajime]:** Sleep calls

 

 **[Takahiro]:** yep yep okayu

 

 **[Issei]:** five ore minutes mom

 

 **[Hajime]:** It’s 12 am

 

 **[Hajime]:** I already gave you 15 minutes

 

 **[Takahiro]:** BUT MOOOOOM

 

 **[Issei]:** wht r u gnna do about it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **[Hajime]:** Where’s Tooru?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** no idea

 

 **[Issei]:** sleeping maybe

 

 **[Tooru]:** HAHA HI

 

 **[Tooru]:** I was showerin srry

 

 **[Hajime]:** That’s alright

 

 **[Hajime]:** As long as you go to sleep now

 

 **[Tooru]:** but my hair D:

 

 **[Tooru]:** i need to dry my hair

 

 **[Takahiro]:** yes yes stay up with me

 

 **[Issei]:** babe i would stay up too but i got to work

 

 **[Issei]:** i got the morning shift -.-

 

 **[Issei]:** (or rather, kuroo conned me into taking his shoft for him but at least i get to keep the cash)

 

 **[Hajime]:** Then kindly take your ass to bed

 

 **[Tooru]:** ohohoho?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** OHOHOHO

 

 **[Issei]:** so my ass goes to bewd but i can stay? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **[Hajime]:** No, your ass and the rest of you attached to it

 

 **[Hajime]:** That goes for the rest of you as well

 

 **[Takahiro]:** but mom

 

 **[Takahiro]:** im drwing

 

 **[Takahiro]:** darin

 

 **[Takahiro]:** darwin

 

 **[Tooru]:** darwin?!

 

 **[Tooru]:** whats darwin?

 

 **[Issei]:** Charles darwin is the only darwin i know lol

 

 **[Hajime]:** Charles Darwin middle school

 

 **[Tooru]:** HAHAHAHA

 

 **[Issei]:** lmao

 

 **[Takahiro]:** drawings

 

 **[Hajime]:** Great minds think alike

 

 **[Issei]:** cos charkes darwin middle schhool

 

 **[Takahiro]:** but ye that works too lmao

 

 **[Hajime]:** Ok stop distracting me, all of you to bed

 

 **[Hajime]:** The bed requires a companion

 

 **[Takahiro]:** if were talkuing about _your_ bed, then yes

 

 **[Takahiro]:** yes ill go to bed

 

 **[Issei]:** dam dats smooth

 

 **[Tooru]:** TAKAHIRO HOW CLD U

 

 **[Tooru]:** Y DNT YOU COME TO _MY_ BED D:

 

 **[Issei]:** thats direct

 

 **[Hajime]:** Go accompany your own beds

 

 **[Hajime]:** I’m sure your stuffed toys miss you

 

 **[Takahiro]:** i do not have studfed toys

 

 **[Tooru]:** niether do i

 

 **[Issei]:** i suppose that bear i caught for you in the arcade is in miyagi then

 

 **[Issei]:** :’(

 

 **[Issei]:** im hurt, hiro, hurt

 

 **[Takahiro]:** babe no im sorry

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ofc its with me

 

 **[Issei]:** my heart is broken

 

 **[Takahiro]:** forgive me

 

 **[Issei]** : I cant

 

 **[Takahiro]:** babe pls

 

 **[Hajime]:** I know Tooru doesn’t leave home without the alien plush I gave him when we were seven

 

 **[Hajime]:** So he’s lying too

 

 **[Tooru]:** ...damnit

 

 **[Hajime]:** Now, really, go to bed

 

 **[Tooru]:** okokok

 

 **[Tooru]:** my hairs done anyway

 

 **[Hajime]:** Takahiro? Issei?

 

 **[Issek]:** kenma’s in my bed

 

 **[Issei]:** so no i cant sleep :^)

 

 **[Hajime]:** Go borrow Kuroo’s bed

 

 **[Hajime]:** He never sleeps without Kenma anyway

 

 **[Hajime]:** And nobody ever moves a sleeping Kenma

 

 **[Issei]:** it still amazes me how u kno all this

 

 **[Issei]:** but fine u got me

 

 **[Issei]:** goodnight

 

 **[Hajime]:** Goodnight, rest well

 

 **[Hajime]:** Takahiro, you’re the only one left

 

 **[Takahiro]:** _{one image attached}_

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ok im done i’ll sleep now

 

 **[Takahiro]:** love you!

 

_Five hours later_

 

 **[Issei]:** well shit

 

 **[Issei]:** I see why hajime never replied

 

 **[Tooru]:** what?

 

 **[Issei]:** can u read up for once

 

 **[Tooru]:** oh

 

 **[Tooru]:** OH

 

 **[Tooru]:** brb dying

 

 **[Takahiro]:** oh god is it that bad?

 

 **[Issei]:** what r u tlking abt

 

 **[Issei]:** its beautiful

 

 **[Tooru]:** breathtaking

 

 **[Hajime]:** Just like you

 

 **[Hajime]:** I’m sorry I never replied, I kind of fainted with how gorgeous it was

 

 **[Hajime]:** You are so talented Takahiro

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I

 

 **[Tooru]:** you broke him

 

 **[Hajime]:** I spoke the truth

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I just

 

 **[Issei]:** i have a feeling this happened before

 

 **[Takahiro]:** help

 

 **[Tooru]:** iwachan you killed him

 

 **[Hajime]:** I could send you a kiss to make it better?

 

 **[Hajime]:** ...Takahiro?

 

 **[Issei]:** goddamnit Hajime its too early for u to be so romantic

 

 **[Issei]:** i think hiro got the best deaths out of all of us

 

 **[Tooru]:** agreed

 

 **[Hajime]:** What? I didn’t kill anyone?

 

 **[Tooru]:** you did too

 

 **[Issei]:** did yoo

 

 **[Takahiro]:** i dont think i can go to class after dying like this

 

 **[Takahiro]:** goodbye world

 

* * *

 

 **[Tooru]:** at our wedding

 

 **[Tooru]:** can hiro and issei play their instruments

 

 **[Tooru]:** while hajime sings

 

 **[Takahiro]:** and waht will u do ?

 

 **[Tooru]:** ill be on the sidelines

 

 **[Tooru]:** crying bc of the beautifulness

 

 **[Issei]:** i wouldnt mind doing tht

 

 **[Tooru]:** rlly? :DD

 

 **[Issei]:** yeah if hajime will sing and if hiro plays the piano

 

 **[Hajime]:** We can serenade you, Tooru.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** shit i better practice my piano playing so i dont get rusty

 

 **[Tooru]:** im imagining it

 

 **[Issei]:** r u crying?

 

 **[Tooru]:** yes

 

* * *

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Akaashi came to visit again

 

 **[Takahiro]:** and through these thin walls

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ive learned that Akaashi rules the bedroom n not Bo

 

 **[Issei]:** what  

 

 **[Tooru]:** r u serious

 

 **[Hajime]:** That’s….kind of shocking

 

 **[Takahiro]:** they might switch it up?? But??? Yeah rn he’s in charge

 

 **[Takahiro]:** and im suffering

 

 **[Issei]:** i could call u and we could get back at them (;

 

 **[Takahiro]:** i mean i would love tht trust me

 

 **[Takahiro]:** but im hiding under my bed in the hopes it muffles the sounds

 

 **[Tooru]:** u can fit under there??

 

 **[Hajime]:** You actually thought that would work?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** desperate times call for desperate measures

 

 **[Takahiro]:** and no im stuck under the bed

 

 **[Issei]:** lmao r u serious rn

 

 **[Takahiro]:** sent you guys a snap for proof

 

 **[Takahiro]:** and a video just so u kno how loud they’re being

 

 **[Hajime]:** I can’t believe you fit under there.

 

 **[Issei]:** i cnt believe u got stuck lol

 

 **[Tooru]:** once they finish the diddily do

 

 **[Tooru]:** call for help

 

 **[Hajime]:** I’m sure Bokuto can lift your bed.

 

 **[Issei]:** he does have those arms

 

 **[Tooru]:** but they’re no match for hajimes<3333

 

 **[Hajime]:** Thanks, I think?

 

 **[Tooru]:** i want to be held up by your strong arms

 

 **[Hajime]:** Tooru, please don’t. I don’t need this again.

 

 **[Tooru]:** :((

 

 **[Hajime]:** Next time I see you, maybe.

 

 **[Issei]:** Can i watch ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **[Takahiro]:** youll have to record it for me bro

 

 **[Hajime]:** You guys are disgusting.

 

* * *

 

 **[Hajime]:** I visited the old school

 

 **[Tooru]:** :0000 how are the children

 

 **[Takahiro]:** are kunimi and yahaba ok

 

 **[Hajime]:** Yeah, Yahaba is a great captain.

 

 **[Issei]:** and the others?

 

 **[Hajime]:** Well, Yahaba and Kyoutani are still dating. They work well together from what I saw.

 

 **[Hajime]:** I think Watari is dating someone, Yahaba hinted at it? And Kunimi and Kindaichi are together finally.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** we leave n they all get love lives

 

 **[Hajime]:** They’re an amazing team, though. Still tough and going strong.

 

 **[Tooru]:** thts great!

 

 **[Issei]:** how are the other first years?

 

 **[Hajime]:** They seemed like good players, but I tried talking to them, and they ran away?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** pfffff

 

 **[Issei]:** were their faces red

 

 **[Hajime]:** Yeah? But it was because they were working hard?

 

 **[Tooru]:** wow u show up for one practice and they all develop crushes on u

 

 **[Takahiro]:** unbelievable

 

 **[Hajime]:** No? They were just nervous to talk to a stranger?

 

 **[Issei]:** where were they looking when u talked to them

 

 **[Hajime]:** Yahaba said they were looking at my arms, but no? I think the floor?

 

 **[Tooru]:** lol this doesnt even surprise me

 

 **[Issei]:** amazing rlly

 

 **[Takahiro]:** good thing ur ours <3

 

 **[Hajime]:** Well yeah, of course I am. I love you all? But what does that have to do with anything?

 

 **[Tooru]:** ur rlly dense sometimes

 

 **[Tooru]:** but i still love u

 

* * *

 

 **[Hajime]:** Hear ye, hear ye, the time of sleep has arrived

 

 **[Issei]:** i love it when youre poetic

 

 **[Hajime]:** Thanks?

 

 **[Tooru]:** iwachan can be the resident poet! (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

 

 **[Takahiro]:** but issei writes

 

 **[Issei]:** idm

 

 **[Issei]:** it’ll be fun to have someone to write with

 

 **[Hajime]:** I’m not that good though

 

 **[Takahiro]:** bullshit

 

 **[Tooru]:** ur compo got into the school compilation of good works

 

 **[Issei]:** ye urs got in not mine

 

 **[Issei]:** your witing is gd

 

 **[Hajime]:** If you say so

 

 **[Hajime]:** But anyway, go to sleep

 

 **[Tooru]:** soon

 

 **[Takahiro]:** yeah just one more game

 

 **[Issei]:** goodnight

 

 **[Issei]:** I was just waiting for u to tell us

 

 **[Hajime]:** Oh

 

 **[Hajime]:** In that case, goodnight

 

 **[Hajime]:** Love you  <3

 

* * *

 

 **[Issei]:** dear sweet god

 

 **[Tooru]:** issei since when were you religioud??

 

 **[Tooru]:** religious*

 

 **[Issei]:** im not

 

 **[Issei]:** but im considering it

 

 **[Takahiro]:** wht no u cant

 

 **[Takahiro]:** who will sin with me if u bcome religious

 

 **[Hajime]:** What happened??

 

 **[Issei]:** thk u for asking hajime

 

 **[Issei]:** so as i was saying

 

 **[Issei]:** i am considering religion

 

 **[Issei]:** because i have never been so scared in my entire life

 

 **[Takahiro]:** not even that time kunimi nearly caught us in the locker room?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** no wait it was kindaichi

 

 **[Hajime]:** What did you do

 

 **[Tooru]:** WHAT WERE Y IY DOIG DID U SCAR THE CHILDEREN

 

 **[Issei]:** no, worse than that

 

 **[Issei]:** oh, nthin much

 

 **[Issei]:** just u knw

 

 **[Takahiro]:** he was blowing me ok now get over it

 

 **[Takahiro]:** hw can anything be scarier than kindiachi nearly catching us

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ??

 

 **[Issei]:** i wld have preferred he caught us

 

 **[Tooru]:** why

 

 **[Takahiro]:** O

 

 **[Takahiro]:** right

 

 **[Hajime]:** Why

 

 **[Hajime]:** Were you trying that

 

 **[Hajime]:** I mean I understand why, but the children.

 

 **[Tooru]:** HE ADMITS IT

 

 **[Tooru]:** WE HAVE KIDS FINALLY

 

 **[Takahiro]:** cn we be serious here

 

 **[Takahiro]:** i want to kno y im gonna lose my sin buddy

 

 **[Issei]:** we sin together, forever n always

 

 **[Issei]:** but anyway

 

 **[Issei]:** so kuroo took us to get our brows done

 

 **[Issei]:** _{one image attached}_

 

 **[Issei]:** I have never been so afarid for my eyes in my life

 

 **[Tooru]:** hooooly shit

 

 **[Takahiro]:** now tooru’s religious too damn it

 

 **[Takahiro]:** but yeah shit

 

 **[Hajime]:** Your face is so red, are you okay?

 

 **[Hajime]:** But you look really good

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ur brows look awesome

 

 **[Takahiro]:** but yea the red

 

 **[Tooru]:** wht even happnd????

 

 **[Issei]:** it’s called brow threading

 

 **[Issei]:** n i nearly lost my eyes i swear

 

 **[Tooru]:** it's ok I think?

 

 **[Tooru]:** u just need to get used to it

 

 **[Issei]:** no

 

 **[Issei]:** nvr again

 

 **[Issei]:** not only was the hair brutally ripped off my face

 

 **[Issei]:** but i swear the lady put the thread close enough to my eye sockets to almost rip out my eyes

 

 **[Issei]:** I nvr knew how much I loved my eyes till this day

 

 **[Hajime]:** They rip out your hair??

 

 **[Takahiro]:** well it does hurt but beauty is pain rgt

 

 **[Issei]:** brow threading means they rip out bunches of hair at a go

 

 **[Issei]:** they dnt pluck one by onw

 

 **[Issei]:** it is hell on earth and i thank god that i am alive now

 

 **[Hajime]:** Well, if it’s that bad I don’t blame you for wanting to become religious

 

 **[Tooru]:** it’s not tjat bad

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ye it isnt

 

 **[Tooru]:** hajime we’re going to do your brows one day too

 

 **[Takahiro]:** gr8 idea

 

 **[Hajime]:** I’ll pass

 

 **[Issei]:** nOpE i suffered and now u must too

 

 **[Issei]:** the place kuroo took me was cheap were going ther nxt time

 

 **[Takahiro]:** i want a video of it

 

 **[Issei]:** done

 

 **[Takahiro]:** as long as none of u turn religious

 

 **[Tooru]:** oh i’ll make sure they wont

 

 **[Tooru]:** ;)

 

 **[Takahiro]:** (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **[Issei]:** be prepared for shapely brows hajime

 

 **[Hajime]:** …

 

 **[Hajime]:** Gotta go fast

 

 **[Tooru]:** dID HE JUST

 

 **[Takahiro]:** well shitt

 

 **[Issei]:** that was well placed, very well placed

 

* * *

 

 **[Takahiro]:** How can u see into my eyes like open doors

 

 **[Issei]:** leading u down into m y core

 

 **[Takahiro]:** where I've become so numb without a soul

 

 **[Tooru]:** my spirits sleepnig somewhere cokd

 

 **[Issei]:** until u find it there n lead it back home

 

 **[Hajime]:** Wait, please don't.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** WAKE NE UP

 

 **[Tooru]:** WAKE ME UP INSIDE

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I CNT WAKE UP

 

 **[Issei]:** WAKE ME UP INSIDE

 

 **[Hajime]:** ….Save me

 

 **[Takahiro]:** gasp

 

 **[Tooru]:** CALL MY NAME N SAVE ME FROM THE DARK

 

 **[Issei]:** WAKE ME UP

 

 **[Hajime]:** Bid my blood to run

 

 **[Issei]:** :00

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I CNT WAKE UP

 

 **[Tooru]:** (ty hajime)

 

 **[Hajime]:** Before I come undone

 

 **[Hajime]:** Save me

 

 **[Hajime]:** (No, seriously, someone save me from this hell)

 

 **[Issei]:** (you enjoy it u can't pretend forever)

 

 **[Tooru]:** SAVE ME FROM THE NOTHING I'VE BECOME

 

_Cut for length_

 

* * *

 

 **[Hajime]:** Time for bed.

 

 **[Tooru]:** ty hajime

 

 **[Tooru]:** but not yet

 

 **[Takahiro]:** wait no the cake’s almost done i cant sleep

 

 **[Issei]:** i need to shower first

 

 **[Hajime]:** Why are all of you not prepared to sleep at this hour?

 

 **[Tooru]:** suga-chanagreed to help me paint my nails

 

 **[Tooru]:** theyre drying

 

 **[Takahiro]:** cake

 

 **[Issei]:** kuroos in the shower

 

 **[Issei]:** he takes an hour

 

 **[Tooru]:** that rhymed!

 

 **[Takahiro]:** it did

 

 **[Issei]:** i dnt understanf how he takes so lng

 

 **[Issei]:** there’s less of him than there is of me

 

 **[Tooru]:** hes not that much shorter than you!

 

 **[Takahiro]:** yea lol

 

 **[Issei]:** 0.3cm is a lot, excuse you

 

 **[Issei]:** Hajime knowz, right, Mr 0.7cm? (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **[Hajime]:** Sigh. I do.

 

 **[Hajime]:** Sleep early, I have an 8 am class

 

 **[Hajime]:** Goodnight, rest well

 

* * *

 

Hanamaki digs through his backpack, looking for his art folder. He frowns once he doesn’t see the familiar sketchbook, turning his backpack upside down. All the contents fall out, revealing his core class stuff, his pencil bag, his textbooks...but no sketchbook.

 

Furrowing his eyebrows, he gets up and shuffles around his room, turning the place upside down.

 

Then it hits him.

 

 _“No,”_ he whispers, desperately rechecking every nook and cranny. He takes the sheets off his bed, hoping that somehow it got trapped under there. When he finds that it’s not there, he races to the restroom, checking the shower and the cabinets in there. He practically turns the whole dorm upside down, whispering curses under his breath.

 

He left it at class. How _stupid_ is he?

 

Swiping his phone from where he left it, he furrows his eyebrows at the time. The school closes in thirty minutes, so he can easily walk there and back. But time isn’t the problem. The problem is that it’s night, and no-one he knows is around to walk with him.

 

Of all the nights to leave his sketchbook behind, it had to be the night Bokuto is out.

 

_Of course it is._

 

 **[Takahiro]:** guys??

 

 **[Takahiro]:** this is urgent pls

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I rlly need help

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Tooru ik ur up u have to be

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Issei??

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Hajime?

 

 **[Hajime]:** What is your problem?

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I left my sketchbook at school n my project is due tomorrow

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Bo is out n i cnt walk alone

 

 **[Takahiro]:** ik its stupid but i rlly rlly hate the night time

 

 **[Takahiro]:** can u pls call me n stay on the phone while i go to school??

 

 **[Hajime]:** Well, that seems very odd.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** huh?

 

 **[Hajime]:** It’s ridiculous to be scared of something so natural.

 

 **[Hajime]:** I think you should just go out. One must face their fears at some point.

 

 **[Takahiro]:**...what…?

 

 **[Hajime]:** I’m sorry if that came off as rude, but you’re not a child. It’s ridiculous and stupid to be scared of the dark.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** oh

 

 **[Takahiro]:** i uh

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I didnt kno u felt tht way...ill uh…

 

 **[Takahiro]:** srry for bothering u ur right its stupid and childish and

 

 **[Takahiro]:** n ill just go

 

Hanamaki sets his phone down, closing his eyes. What the _fuck?_ Did Iwaizumi really feel that way? Did...did _all_ of them feel that way?

 

Shaking his head, he takes a deep breath, rising to his feet. Iwaizumi is right, he needs to face his fear. He needs...to stop being a burden to them…

 

Slipping his phone into his pocket, Hanamaki exits his dorm.

 

~~~~~

 

The dark has never been so oppressive.

 

Hanamaki is dashing from lamppost to lamppost in a reverse James Bond mission, dancing in spots of light instead of shadows. Luckily, most students are still awake at this hour, and warm light spills out from open windows and dormitory doorways, illuminating his path. There are numerous lampposts along the road to the main university building as well, and he takes courage in the fact that light exists and continues his mad sprint forward.

 

He waves to the security guard at the gate, but the man stops him to check his student ID. The process makes him lose a few precious minutes, but the man babbles comfortably the whole while, and Hanamaki feels some of his panic recede at the cadence of a familiar voice.

 

His pass is handed back to him, and he steps forward into the building, the lights already dimmed in preparation for closing time. He rushes, sliding down hallways and crashing into walls, the panicked squeaking of his shoes echoing off the isolated walls. He reaches the art room just as the janitor lifts his ring of keys, and manages to halt the old man before he can lock the door.

 

He gets a hearty scolding for being so forgetful, but just as he is about to melt with shame, the man slaps him on the back and tells him to keep being a good kid. “Most kids won't even bother coming back for their things,” he tells him. “Usually I just throw them away. But this one was real pretty, so I was going to keep it.”

 

He bends down and pulls a paper-wrapped package from the bottom shelf of his cleaning cart. “Here,” he presents the package to Hanamaki. “I believe this is yours.”

 

Hanamaki unwraps it to find that it _is_ his sketchbook, and he thanks the man profusely. The old man simply laughs. “Just keep making more good art. People need to slow down and appreciate good works sometimes. Your drawings made my day.”

 

He shoos him off to finish locking up, and Hanamaki steps away with a smile on his face. _Someone thinks my art is good._

 

The thought is undeniably uplifting, but it comes crashing to the ground the second he steps out of the building and sees campus in abject darkness.

 

_No no no no… It was bright five minutes ago!_

 

Whipping his head back to the building, he finds that the lights in it have disappeared as well. His flimsy grasp on his control slips a little more, and he clutches his sketchbook closer to his chest, wheezing slightly.

 

A tiny white light bobs out of the darkness, and he hears a voice. “Hey, who's that?”

 

He nearly sighs in relief. It's just the security guard.

 

He freezes up. It's _just_ the security guard. There's no one else around.

 

_There's no one else around._

 

He is _alone_ , with someone who could potentially kill him.

 

Oh no. Oh, no.

 

The security guard stops, shines the light into his face. “Oh, Hanamaki-kun. It's you.” He jerks a hand over his shoulder at the darkened campus. “It’s a blackout. I think one of the major electrical cables got tripped. Don't worry, the backup generators will come online soon. Do you want to come sit with me until the lights come back on?”

 

All he hears is _blackout_ , _sit with me_ , and the pounding of his heart. All he feels is the cold sweat pooling in the small of his back, the hairs standing up along his exposed arms. He tries to smile.

 

“No, thank you. My roommate is waiting for me. I'll head back first!” He dodges around the man, dashing off into the darkness. He hears the man shout, but can't make out what he is saying over the sound of his panting, his terrified huffs of exhaled air.

 

It is dark, so, so dark. He can barely make out the pavement under his shoes, illuminated only by the sliver of crescent moon hanging over his head. His shoes slap the pavement, loud thumps echoing into the surrounding void, mirroring an increasing heart rate, gasping breaths falling more and more out of rhythm.

 

A piercing call shatters the silence, rips away the veil of barely concealed terror. Hanamaki trips, falls to his knees, sketchbook flying into the abyss. He is shaking, tiny trembles rippling out into full on convulsions, an earthquake in his own world.

 

The ringing is an oddly jingly tune, sharp on his oversensitive ears, slicing out of the darkness to assault him. It is white noise, blasting out of nowhere, knocking him off his feet, stabbing at him from all directions.

 

He is helpless; he cries out. A meek little peep, a whisper lost in a vacuum, swallowed by the vast nothingness.

 

His breath is thin in his lungs; he gasps, crying, begging, calling for help, shrieking to anyone who would listen to _help, help me, please, please PLEASE make it STOP!_

 

The noise dulls for a moment, leaving ringing in his ears. He finds himself on his side, knees tucked into his chest, head to knees, curled up like one of those pillbugs Iwaizumi loves to talk about.

 

Iwaizumi.

 

He forces himself to unwind from his stiff ball; stretches out to scrabble at the rough concrete, to pull himself to his knees and move move _move._

 

The terror of the night, of the dark, it is paralysing, but he knows that if he moves, if he can get back, get back home, he’ll be welcomed back with open arms, loving arms, back to a person, no, _people_ , who love and support him.

 

**_How can you be afraid of something natural?_ **

 

He freezes again, fingers stiffening, slowly petrifying, turning to stone.

 

**_It’s ridiculous to be afraid of the dark._ **

 

No, no, no. Iwaizumi -- no, Hajime, won’t say that to him. He won’t, he _won’t_.

 

But he did.

 

**_You must face your fears sometime._ **

 

No, no, no. It can’t be, it can’t be it can’t be--

 

Hajime won’t do that to him. Hajime loves him. Tells him so every day, pushes him to sleep early, to eat and drink and go to classes on time. Hajime can’t and won’t be so harsh when he knows he is fragile--

 

He is fragile.

 

He can’t stand up for himself.

 

He can’t control his fears.

 

He is **pathetic**.

 

...of course.

 

It makes sense now.

 

It finally makes sense, why he said that.

 

Hajime -- no, no, no, never again, he is _Iwaizumi,_ not Hajime, never Hajime -- said that because he was fed up with Hanamaki’s nonsense, his pathetic neediness, his lack of ability to stand on his own, his _dependency_ on others when he is a grown-ass man who should be able to take care of himself.

 

He is nothing but a charity case. He wonders when Iwaizumi was planning to tell him, to take back his false love.

 

Hanamaki shrieks when the burst of noise starts up again, blaring at him, screaming for attention, and he feels his chest constrict, his breaths grow shallow and weak, his head grow light--

 

A hot drop splashes onto his hand, and he looks up at the Cheshire cat’s smile, looking for rainclouds in a clear, starless sky. A hot trail drips down both cheeks, and he raises a hand to them in wonder, asking himself, _where did these come from?_

 

Tears signify sadness and loss but what has he lost?

 

Two more faces flash into mind; brown eyes, brown hair; dark curls, a crooked smile.

 

Tooru and Issei.

 

_Or are they Oikawa and Matsukawa?_

 

He thinks he thinks he thinks, and he thinks he remembers how when they talk, when they are together, their bodies are always angled away from him, seemingly paying attention but actually not.

 

_All caught up in their own bubble, and I am an outsider looking in._

 

He can’t help it; a self-deprecating laugh leaves him, high-pitched and almost a shriek, hysteria and panic rolled into a messy stream of sound.

 

Of course no one can love him. It is a lie, an illusion, a _dream_ he has been living for far too long. Of course, nobody can love the slobbering mess of pathetic ooze that is him. He has been lying to himself for too long.

 

But it still breaks his heart.

 

Hanamaki crumples to the pavement and the darkness rushes in to meet him.

 

~~~~~

 

Bokuto Koutarou is a calm rational man.

 

A calm. Rational. Man.

 

Nope, who is he kidding. He is freaking out and there is a blackout and _no one is around to help him._

 

He is so doomed.

 

A jolly ringtone shoots out of nowhere, and _hey,_ he _knows_ that ringtone--

 

He swoops down on his roommate's shivering, sobbing body and follows the sound to where his phone is lying lonely and abandoned on the grass.

 

The contact on the screen is 'Hajime ♥♥♥', and he presses the answer button enthusiastically.

 

_“Hello? Taka--”_

 

“Hey hey hey! Iwaizumi-kun! I need help! A LOT of help!”

 

 _“Um, Bokuto-kun,”_ Iwaizumi sounds sheepish, but also worried, _“Could you put me through to Takahiro? I really need to talk to him--”_

 

“Yeah, actually, that was what I wanted to talk to you about!” Bokuto looks over his shoulder at the quaking Hanamaki, chewing his lip nervously. “I found him near the school and he's just lying on the ground and crying? I mean, I understand the need to cry, but he could have done that in our dorm room, I won't judge him. And it's dark out too! This blackout really is taking too long, I mean it was funny an hour ago but still--”

 

_“Oh god, no.”_

 

Bokuto's rambling stills.

 

There's something ominous about those words.

 

_“Bokuto-kun, please, I beg you. Listen to me carefully, and then help Takahiro.”_

 

“I'm listening.”

 

This sounds serious. Bokuto can handle that. He can handle it.

 

_“Takahiro is having a panic attack. I want you to talk to him. Call his name, and then talk about anything. If he relaxes, pick him up and hold him. He will most likely hug you, but please, allow him to do that. When he's calm enough to answer you properly, carry him back to your room and call me back.”_

 

Oh-kay, that's a _lot_ of information but he can handle it--

 

DID HE SAY TO CALL HIM BACK?!

 

“WAIT!” He blurts out. “I have to do this without you?!”

 

 _“Yes,”_ is the sad, resigned answer. _“Takahiro is not ready to listen to me now. There's-- There's been a misunderstanding, and I think he hates me. Please, Bokuto-kun.”_ Iwaizumi is begging now, and it sits uncomfortably on Bokuto's conscience. _“Please, help me. Help_ him. _”_

 

Bokuto takes a deep breath. He is a calm, rational man.

 

“Okay. I'll call you back.”

 

Iwaizumi makes a soft noise of thanks and ends the call. Bokuto pockets Hanamaki's phone, then bends down to crouch over his roommate, touching his arm tentatively.

 

He gets no response, and panics a little. _Oh shit oh shit what did Iwaizumi-kun say? Talk to him right?_

 

“Hanamaki? Hanamaki? Makki, my bro, please wake up. C’mon bro, it's dark and scary out here and I wanna go back to our room and share blankets and pizza and watch bad rom-coms and then we can do our homework! No actually, I don't wanna do my homework, but once you get up we can do whatever, so whatcha say?” Bokuto pats his arm frantically as he rambles, gesturing wildly and speaking loudly, filling up the dark with his words.

 

He feels like he's been speaking forever (which is quite the feat, considering he _loves_ talking), and is about to start the seventh new topic (he has spoken about volleyball and Akaashi and what an ass Kuroo is and _Akaashi_ and _that assignment that was due last week? I think I flushed it_ and Akaashi) when Hanamaki chuckles weakly and Bokuto slumps over and hugs him, shouting gleefully.

 

Hanamaki flinches and Bokuto pulls back, apologising at the speed of light. But his roommate shakes his head and offers a weak smile (at least he thinks it is? It really is dark) and whispers that he's too loud. “But keep talking, I like it.”

 

Bokuto whoops, before remembering and shushing himself, then grins and holds out his arms. “Let's go back to our room! I want to take a hot shower but you can go first! And you said I can keep talking so I'm going to tell you more stories when you're showering!”

 

“Thank you, Bokuto.” Hanamaki makes to get up, but Bokuto puts his hands on his shoulders, shaking his head no.

 

“I'm gonna carry you back!”

 

“No thanks. I can walk.” Hanamaki pulls away, fumbling in the darkness as he tries to remember what he dropped. He knows he's forgetting something.

 

Bokuto whines and shakes him. “But Makki! I need to practice in case I ever need to carry Akaashi one day!”

 

Hanamaki laughs and pulls even further out of reach, his hand hitting something smooth and familiar. A rush of memories has him shuddering, but he closes himself off from them except the reason that he panicked in the first place. _My sketchbook._

 

He picks the book up lovingly and cradles it to his chest, hunching around it like it's a lifeline.

 

“Maaaakkiiiiii, come on! Anyway you can't walk if you're going to carry that thing like that!”

 

“ _This thing_ is half my grade.”

 

“All the better! Come on, I'm gonna pick you up if you don't get up!” Bokuto pulls on his arm, tugging him into a standing position. “Okay, see, you're up! Now get on my back!”

 

“What? Why?”

 

_He knows I'm scared of the dark and he's going to judge me. He knows I'm scared of the dark-_

 

“So we can get back faster and have that shower, duh!” Bokuto pats (thumps) his back gleefully. “Also, do you think they deliver pizza at this time? I really want pizza.”

 

“I don't know.” Hanamaki obliges this time, jumping onto Bokuto's back and pressing the sketchbook between them. “Let's just get back first.”

 

“Okay!”

 

He is barely holding on when Bokuto takes off, hooting without a care in the world.

 

Hanamaki laughs at his infectious enthusiasm, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes.

 

His roommate is less than perfect, he knows, but he is a very kind man. And because Hanamaki is selfish and dependent on others, he's going to make use of that for as long as he can.

 

~~~~~

 

Hanamaki had a very relaxing shower. So when Bokuto presses his phone to his ear and walks into the restroom after he exits, he doesn't think much of it.

 

Then he hears the voice on the other end of the line.

 

_“Takahiro?”_

 

His thumb moves towards the end call button.

 

“Maaakkiii, please talk to him!” Bokuto hollers, his voice bouncing off the restroom walls. “If he didn't call, I wouldn't have known how to help you!”

 

His thumb stills. Hovers.

 

“Maaaaakkkiiiiiiii!!”

 

“Okay, fine, I'll talk to him!” He yells back, and is pleased to find that his voice is tremble-free.

 

“Okay! And after I'm done, we're getting pizza!”

 

“You're paying!”

 

“Not fair!”

 

Hanamaki chuckles and walks to his room, shutting the door behind him. He drops onto his bed, wet hair soaking his pillow. “What do you want, Iwaizumi?”

 

He can almost hear Iwaizumi flinch, probably from the use of his last name. _“I… I wanted to say I'm sorry.”_

 

Hanamaki feels his heart splinter, but he breathes deep, channels his stone façade. “No need to apologise. I should be sorry. I'm the burden on all of you. You should just let me go.” His voice cracks at the end, despite his resolve, and he pinches himself hard as punishment.

 

 _“What? No! Taka-- Makki,”_ he corrects himself, _“You could never be a burden to us! You've been through a lot, and we want to be here for you.”_

 

“So what was that about me facing my fears? About my fear of the dark being unnatural and ridiculous?” His voice, his _tone_ is bitter; sadness and hurt covered up by a layer of anger. He finds that he prefers this façade. It's better to be angry than sad.

 

 _“That wasn't me. It was Ushijima.”_ Iwaizumi's voice is layered with regret. _“He took my phone while I was in the shower, and handed it back to me right as I came out. He looked so proud of himself, I had no idea what he did wrong until Tooru and Issei started screaming at me.”_

 

Tooru. Issei. The names are heavy on his tongue now, painful with his earlier realisation that he is nothing to them. He forces the words out, horrified to find that his voice is thick with tears.

 

“Ushijima was proud of himself? Gee, and here I thought he was a decent fellow.”

 

 _“Makki-- Makki, please understand.”_ This is new; Iwaizumi begging. He wondered why. _“Ushijima doesn't understand a lot of things. He doesn't know what you've been through, so he didn't think before saying that to you. I'm not saying it's_ right _, but he's willing to apologise for hurting you.”_

 

This was new, too. Iwaizumi begging on someone else's behalf. He never even begged for Oikawa. Hanamaki feels a sneer twist his face.

 

“I never thought I'd see the day. Iwaizumi Hajime, defending Ushiwaka. How proud Oikawa must be.” His voice finally conveyed the tone he was looking for, cold and distant, condescending and unforgiving. “It's alright. I understand. There's still hope for an idiot like him. There are no chances left for a puddle of muck like me. I'm so useless, Iwaizumi, didn't you hear? Didn't you hear?”

 

His change of face surprises even him, but he presses on, the words spilling out; the rotting, decaying, fermenting words that are corroding him with every second that they remain unsaid.

 

“Didn't you hear,” he hisses, “How I broke down barely ten metres from the school building, just because I couldn't walk the one block to my dorm in the dark? Didn't you hear, how Bokuto had to come find me, find my pathetic crying self on the sidewalk, and it took him almost half an hour to calm me down? Half an hour, when he could have been doing other things, like studying for that mock-test he has tomorrow?”

 

He takes a deep breath, feels it shuddering and shaking down to his lungs, rattling his bones and quaking his soul.

 

He opens his eyes; he wasn’t aware he had closed them.

 

“Just break it off. Let me go. I’m not worth your trouble.”

 

_“Makki-- Makki, no, that’s not what I mean--”_

 

There’s a sudden high-pitched squealing, and he pulls the phone away from his ear until it is gone. He waits, for whatever half-assed excuse Iwaizumi has for him this time.

 

It’s not what he expects.

 

_“This is Ushijima.”_

 

“What do you want.” It comes out flat, hardly any emotion for the one who had caused him abject suffering and gotten away with it.

 

 _“To apologise.”_ His voice is as neutral as ever, stating facts instead of conveying thoughts. _“I was unaware that you had suffered assault at the hands of deranged individuals. My apologies for forcing you into a situation that only heightened your post-traumatic stress, and for causing you unnecessary distress. I truly believed there was nothing wrong with what I said, because I am unafraid of the dark.”_

 

“Well, if the dark isn’t a fear of yours and you think I should face mine -- I suppose you face your fears daily?” Ah, sarcasm is such a wonderful tool. Hanamaki is deeply appreciative of whoever invented it.

 

 _“I do.”_ Ushijima confides. _“Social interaction… It terrifies me.”_

 

 _That_ has his attention. Hanamaki lets some of his anger soften and slip away. “You are friends with Tendou.”

 

 _“He is intimidating,”_ is the reply. _“It is easier to befriend someone friendly and allow them to control your social decisions for you than to make yourself a walking beacon for hate.”_

 

“No offence, but you do a pretty good job of making people hate you without trying.”

 

 _“I am aware, yes.”_ Is it just him, or did Ushijima sound a little downtrodden? _“I am still unable to comprehend why Oikawa dislikes me so.”_

 

“You told him that he sucked and the only way for him to be better was to join Shiratorizawa. People don’t like being told they suck.”

 

_“But it was true. His skills could have been much improved under our coach, and his talent flourished under the guidance of others as talented as he was.”_

 

“But that’s not how you tell someone. It’s too direct.” What is he doing? He’s supposed to be angry with this guy, this guy who sent him running to school alone and triggered a panic attack. He’s not supposed to be discussing his problems with him, or giving him advice. “People don’t like being told things too directly.”

 

_“Satori insists he prefers my straightforward manner. Hmm? Ah. Iwaizumi wants the phone back, I will return it to him.”_

 

Slight rustling and crackling as the phone switches hands, and it is Iwaizumi breathing down the line again. _“I’m sorry.”_

 

Hanamaki feels calmer now, an empty void in place of his sadness and anger. “I’m sorry too. I’m just overreacting and being burdensome again.”

 

 _“Makki.”_ Iwaizumi’s tone is soft, resigned, _tired. “You are not, and will never be a burden to us. I’m sorry we couldn’t be there when you went back to school just now, and I’m sorry I allowed Ushijima to take my phone. Is it hard to believe that he is a gossip and loves reading my messages for things to tell Tendou?”_ He stops himself and sighs. _“That’s not the point._

 

 _“My point is that it was my fault that you had to go through that again, when I promised that it would not happen. It is my fault, and you should blame me -- please, just blame me -- and say you forgive me, if you can.”_ His tone is begging yet again, pleading for something he cannot give, because, well, it is not his to give.

 

“I can’t forgive you if there’s nothing to forgive.” Ah, there are tears in his eyes again. “I- I just- It’s not your fault. I’m the one who’s always full of problems, always depending on you guys. I can’t blame you if I get an attack when I go out just because you have your own lives to run. And- And- And--” He bites his lip, sucking a deep breath through his nose, exhaling hard through his mouth. “I just really miss you.”

 

There are many more words unsaid, feelings and emotions of self-blame, inadequacy, and hopelessness. He doesn’t think Iwaizumi needs to know that, doesn’t think he needs to know how much more broken and torn up he is on the inside, how he can never be fixed, no matter how much love and care they give.

 

There is a long silence on the other end, so long that he thinks the line has been cut. He is about to move the phone to check when he hears Iwaizumi whisper back, “I miss you too.”

 

* * *

 

 **[Tooru]:** hellllooooo??

 

 **[Issei]:** is everything ok??

 

 **[Tooru]:** I rlly feel out of the loop rn

 

 **[Issei]:** tell me about it

 

 **[Tooru]:** well

 

 **[Issei]:** wait don't actually tell me about it

 

 **[Issei]:** it's just a saying

 

 **[Tooru]:** oh

 

 **[Tooru]:** then fine I won't ಥ—ಥ

 

 **[Issei]:** I mean you can if u want…?

 

 **[Tooru]:** nah I'm just kidding Idk what I'd say

 

 **[Issei]:** god I honestly thought I upset u

 

 **[Tooru]:** awwww Issei cares about meeee ( ˘ ³˘)♥

 

 **[Issei]:** ofc I do idiot

 

 **[Tooru]:** awwwww ily2

 

 **[Hajime]:** Okay everything is alright now

 

 **[Issei]:** thank god

 

 **[Issei]:** is Hiro ok?

 

 **[Hajime]:** Yeah he went to go eat I think

 

 **[Hajime]:** He'll probably go sleep afterwards.

 

 **[Tooru]:** was he mad?

 

 **[Hajime]:** It doesn't matter, I talked to him and we talked it out.

 

 **[Hajime]:** It’s fine now.

 

 **[Issei]:** are u lying to us?

 

 **[Tooru]:** if u n taka r fighting we need to knw…

 

 **[Hajime]:** We aren't fighting, I swear.

 

 **[Issei]:** alright well I need to finish this essay

 

 **[Issei]:** love you guys

 

 **[Tooru]:** good luck!!

 

 **[Tooru]:** and ily2<33

 

 **[Hajime]:** I love you as well.

 

 **[Tooru]:** Hajime?

 

 **[Hajime]:** hmm?

 

 **[Tooru]:** r things really ok with u two…?

 

 **[Hajime]:** Yes, they are. He just had a bad night, so everything will be normal in the morning.

 

 **[Tooru]:** r u sure?

 

 **[Hajime]:** I'm positive.

 

* * *

 

 **[Takahiro]:** I’m sorry for causing trouble last night.

 

 **[Issei]:** u have no reason to be sorry

 

 **[Hajime]:** I already told you you didn't need to apologize.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** Ik but I still feel kind of bad

 

 **[Tooru]:** well don't!!! Its fine!!  

 

 **[Takahiro]:** are you sure….?

 

 **[Hajime]:** Yes, Takahiro, we are.

 

 **[Takahiro]:** okay…

 

 **[Takahiro]:** so how did you essay turn out, issei?

 

 **[Issei]:** well i fibshed it so thts good

 

 **[Issei]:** jus gotta turn it in when I go to class today

 

 **[Tooru]:** I bet its great!!

 

 **[Issei]:** haha thanks I hope it is

 

 **[Hajime]:** Good luck, Issei

 

 **[Issei]:** thanks<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Safyre's Tumblr: [Sapphyrelily](sapphyrelily.tumblr.com)
> 
> Jamie's Tumblr: [Seijouho](seijouho.tumblr.com)
> 
> Songs used for this chapter:  
> Wake Me Up by Evanescence
> 
> (I hope no one died from the angst)


	3. Roommates Gone Wild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy ( ƅ°ਉ°)ƅ

**[Takahiro]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Takahiro]:** Comet looks so happy ╥﹏╥

 

**[Issei]:** oh wow he's grown these last few months 

 

**[Takahiro]:** ikr? My child is so big 

 

**[Hajime]:** I want a dog. 

 

**[Tooru]:** well when we move in together we can get one 

 

**[Hajime]:** And a cat as well? 

 

**[Tooru]:** ofc 

 

**[Issei]:** man moving in together is gonna be great 

 

**[Hajime]:** Yeah, I can actually force you guys to sleep on time. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** Ik one way u could tire me out (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

**[Hajime]:** huh? 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I want you 

 

**[Takahiro]:** to fuck me 

 

**[Takahiro]:** against the wall

 

**[Hajime]:** NIT THS AGAIN PLEASE 

 

**[Hajime]:** not* this* 

 

**[Takahiro]:** just making sure u knew what I meant ;) 

 

**[Tooru]:** when we move in together u can't hog hajime to urself 

 

**[Tooru]:** wht if I wanna be fucked against a wall 

 

**[Issei]:** idk I rather fuck hajime against a wall then the other way around 

 

**[Hajime]:** I 

 

**[Takahiro]:** ahahahahaha 

 

**[Takahiro]:** good job Issei 

 

**[Tooru]:** BEFORE THIS GETS WORSE I WNT U GUYS TO KNO I DNT WANT TO MO VE IN JUS FOR SEX

 

**[Tooru]:** I WANT TO WAKE UP NECT TO U GUYD AND I WANT TO KISS U WHENEVER I WANT AND I WANT TO HAVE SAPPY MOVIE NIGHTS AND I WANT HIRO TO MAKE US DINNER EVERY NUGHT AND I WNT HAJIME YO NAG YS TO SLEEP IN OERSON AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO STEAL ISSEIS CLOSE WHILE HES IN THE ROOM AND I WANT TO VE ABLE TO COME HOME AFTER A LONG DAY AND BE ABLE TO KNO THT U GUYS R THERE FOR ME 

 

**[Tooru]:** tht was long srry but I mean it 

 

**[Issei]:** awwww Tooru<3 

 

**[Takahiro]:** aw that was sappy 

 

**[Takahiro]:** but I want the same 

 

**[Hajime]:** I love you, Tooru. 

 

**[Hajime]:** <3 

 

**[Tooru]:** (╥_╥) 

 

**[Tooru]:** I love you too hajime 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I love you both and issei too 

 

**[Issei]:** babe<3

 

**[Takahiro]:** sugar pie<3 

 

**[Issei]:** mango cream<3

 

**[Takahiro]:** vanilla rice<3 

 

**[Issei]:** oat cake<3 

 

**[Takahiro]:** melon spice<3 

 

**[Hajime]:** What even are those? 

 

**[Takahiro]:** srry do u want a pet name too

 

**[Issei]:** tooru u want one as well? 

 

**[Tooru]:** no thanks…..

 

**[Hajime]:** Yeah, no thanks. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** ur loss 

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** Sleep now

 

**[Issei]:** Hajime??

 

**[Hajime]:** This is not Iwaizumi

 

**[Takahiro]:** You STRANGER! 

 

**[Takahiro]:** WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HABE YOU DONE EITH HAJIME

 

**[Hajime]:** This is Ushijima

 

**[Hajime]:** Iwaizumi is extremely exhausted from volleyball practice and has fallen asleep

 

**[Hajime]:** He has requested me to encourage his ex-teammates to sleep early as well

 

**[Tooru]:** ushiwaka-chan  >:(

 

**[Hajime]:** Oikawa

 

**[Hajime]:** It is good to hear from you.

 

**[Issei]:** how did you get into hajime's ohine?

 

**[Tooru]:** dnt wanna talk to u bye

 

**[Tooru]:** im sleepin you tell Iwa-chan thag

 

**[Hajime]:** He has kindly provided me with the password to communicate with you

 

**[Hajime]:** Duly noted.

 

**[Hajime]:** Thank you for being civil, Oikawa

 

**[Tooru]:** dont count on it next time

 

**[Takahiro]:** thts mot fair

 

**[Takahiro]:** i wnt to know hajime's passwird 

 

**[Issei]:** yea whats his passeord

 

**[Hajime]:** He did not tell me it was appropriate to share this information with you

 

**[Hajime]:** All he requests is that you sleep early

 

**[Takahiro]:** tll us the passeor n well slp esrly

 

**[Hajime]:** My apologies, what does that mean?

 

**[Issei]:** if you give us his password, we'll sleep early

 

**[Hajime]:** Oh. In that case.

 

**[Hajime]:** His password is butterscotch

 

**[Takahiro]:** what 

 

**[Issei]:** what

 

**[Tooru]:** what

 

**[Hajime]:** Oikawa, I thought you were asleep

 

**[Hajime]:** Would you like to discuss the cultivation of memes with me?

 

**[Tooru]:** whut no byw

 

**[Issei]:** did I hear

 

**[Takahiro]:** MEMES

 

**[Hajime]:** I am confused. You said you would sleep early after I shared his password with you

 

**[Takahiro]:** yea well we lied

 

**[Issei]:** so about memes

 

_ Five hours later _

 

**[Hajime]:** Why

 

**[Tooru]:** Welcome back

 

**[Hajime]:** I'm changing my password

 

**[Hajime]:** At least Tendou didn't come over

 

**[Issei]:** Ushijima promised to give us Tendou’s number

 

**[Takahiro]:** it was a wild night

 

**[Takahiro]:** ushiwaka is no lonhrt on my shit list

 

**[Issei]:** Taka I'll add u to the grp with Tendou

 

**[Takahiro]:** alright thks babe

 

**[Hajime]:** I regret my life choices

 

* * *

 

**[Tooru]:** ik i like space and stars and shit 

 

**[Tooru]:** but this class is so slow and boring i could just read all this in the text book 

 

**[Hajime]:** Pay attention in class, Tooru. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** u arent paying attention either 

 

**[Hajime]:** The professor is late. 

 

**[Issei]:** tht sounds fake but o k 

 

**[Hajime]:** It’s true 

 

**[Tooru]:** pr o v e it 

 

**[Hajime]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Hajime]:** See? No professor. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** damn u lucky ho 

 

**[Issei]:** i wish my professor wasnt here 

 

**[Hajime]:** You’re all class why aren’t you paying attention??

 

**[Takahiro]:** bc id rather talk to u guys ꒰˘̩̩̩⌣˘̩̩̩๑꒱♡

 

**[Issei]:** aw 

 

**[Issei]:** same 

 

**[Tooru]:** thts a rlly cute emoticon wtf 

 

**[Takahiro]:** ikr I stumbled across it while on the interwebs 

 

**[Tooru]:** now i gotta find something cuter to beat u 

 

**[Issei]:** oh no 

 

**[Hajime]:** Please pay attention to your lectures. 

 

**[Tooru]:** ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

 

**[Takahiro]:** ooohhh tht is cute 

 

**[Hajime]:** Please 

 

* * *

 

**[Issei]:** is everyone ready to see my dashing face 

 

**[Takahiro]:** i could come just thinking about it 

 

**[Issei]:** babe<3

 

**[Takahiro]:** fish cracker<3

 

**[Issei]:** pineapple seed<3

 

**[Hajime]:** Okay, don’t get distracted, guys. 

 

**[Tooru]:** im ready!!!

 

**[Issei]:** alright ill call 

 

Oikawa swiftly accepts the call, grin on his face as he rolls onto his stomach. He props his phone onto a pillow, grabbing his other pillow and hugging it to his chest. His smiles widens as Iwaizumi and Hanamaki pick up, a sense of overwhelming happiness spreading through his veins. 

 

“Woah, Tooru, you alright? You look like you’re going to burst,” Hanamaki’s smooth, deep voice says, and it makes Oikawa smile even more. He’s missed his voice -- he’s missed  _ all  _ of their voices. Sure, hearing it in person would be better, but he doesn’t have that option now. Not when he needs to save money for food and other college needs. 

 

“I’m fine, Hiro! Just happy that I get to hear all your voices.”

 

Matsukawa chuckles, and it’s light and familiar which only adds to Oikawa’s happiness. Nothing could ruin his moo-

 

A pillow is promptly smacked against the side of his face, and he squawks, jerking his head up. 

 

“You didn’t go grocery shopping, you ass!” Suga snaps, hands on hips. His silver hair is messed up, deep bags under his eyes showing how hard he’s been studying. 

 

“Well, princess, I was  _ busy. _ ”

 

“I don’t care, it was your turn!” 

 

Suga reaches out, swiping Oikawa’s phone from its position on the pillow. Whirling around on his feet, he dashes into the restroom, locking the door behind him. Sliding to the ground, he grins at the other three people. 

 

“Hello, Iwaizumi, Hanamaki, Matsukawa.”

 

Matsukawa and Hanamaki look slightly amused, but Iwaizumi looks confused about the whole exchange. 

 

“Hey, Suga,” Hanamaki says, raising a hand. 

 

“ _ OH MY GOD IS THAT MATSUKAWA? BRO TELL KUROO I SAID HI.”  _ Bokuto’s loud voice causes all of them to flinch a little. Hanamaki turns away from his computer, looking at Bokuto before he looks back at his computer. 

 

Bokuto takes that as his okay to plop down beside him, waving at the other people on the screen. 

 

“I heard my name?” Kuroo’s voice says from Matsukawa’s end. He walks up to the computer, peering down at the other boxes with his cat-like eyes. He finally sees Bokuto, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face. “Yo, Bo.”

 

“Am I the only one who has a roommate who won’t rudely interrupt our calls?”

 

“Iwaizumi, I am wondering if I should use a banana or a cucumber. Satori says that I should practice something using one of them.”

 

A pained look crosses across Iwaizumi’s face. “I spoke too soon.” 

 

Hanamaki snorts, shoulders shaking as he tries to contain his laughter. “U-use a--” he laughs harder, clutching onto Bokuto as he laughs as well. “Use a banana, Ushijima.” 

 

Ushijima, from where he’s seen standing behind Iwaizumi, peers down at the computer. “Thank you for the advice, Hanamaki.”

 

“No- No problem, man.”

 

Iwaizumi makes a sound of suffering, burying his face in his hands. Sugawara chuckles, squeaking as there’s suddenly banging on the door. 

 

“Suga, you piece of shit! Open the door!” 

 

“No can do~!” He sings, clearing his throat. He raises his voice, looking back at the camera. “So, did Oikawa tell you guys about his  _ incident  _ at school today?”

 

“No, he didn’t,” Matsukawa says, eyes shining as he waits for Sugawara to elaborate. Kuroo, who is now sitting next to him, looks just as excited to hear the story. 

 

“Well, we were walking to school today--”

 

“ _ SUGAWARA KOUSHI I WILL MURDER YOU.” _

 

“--and we passed by this tree, right? So, there was this squirrel.” 

 

Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow. Hanamaki tilts his head. Matsukawa grins. 

 

“We thought it was dead, and Oikawa wanted to make sure--”

 

“ _ BECAUSE I AM A NICE PERSON WHO CARES FOR ANIMALS.” _

 

“Anyway. We walk up to the animal, and Oikawa pokes it with a stick.” 

 

Kuroo shakes his head. “You never poke an animal with a stick.”

 

“Well, he did think it was dead,” Hanamaki says, deciding to stick up for his boyfriend. 

 

“So once he pokes it with the stick…”

 

“ _ Suga please.” _

 

“The squirrel jumps away from him. And Oikawa screams like a little girl, like he just saw a ghost or something! And the squirrel just went up the tree, and when Oikawa turned around, there were about fifty other students who just saw him scream over a squirrel. And, to make it better, the volleyball team saw it too.”

 

Matsukawa laughs, shaking his head. Iwaizumi smiles an amused smile, turning to see Ushijima’s reaction, only to find him with a banana in his mouth.

 

“No, Ushijima--  _ Fuck _ \-- What are you doing!?”

 

Bokuto cackles, hitting his thigh as he laughs. Oikawa -- from the other side of the door -- moans in pain as he weakly bangs on the door. Kuroo wears an amused look as Matsukawa chuckles, both of them shaking their heads. 

  
  


~~~~~

 

“Next time, we should all lock our doors,” Oikawa huffs, crossing his arms. He had finally gotten his phone back, but not before Sugawara told them all about him slipping into a mud pile on one of the rainy days. 

 

“I don’t know, I kind of like Suga,” Matsukawa says, grinning as Oikawa’s eyebrow twitches. 

 

“Kuroo is pretty cool, too,” Hanamaki says.

 

“And Bokuto,” Matsukawa adds. 

 

“Oh, Bokuto’s the best,” Hanamaki agrees. 

 

“Anyways!” Oikawa clears his throat, “Next time, no other people!”

 

Iwaizumi nods. “I agree. I really don’t need something like that to happen again.”

 

Hanamaki and Matsukawa agree, and the conversation quickly turns to random things. They talk about their classes, Hanamaki talks about his job, Iwaizumi talks about how Tendou tried to throw a party at their dorm last weekend, Oikawa rants about aliens for about thirty minutes, and Matsukawa slips in jokes when he feels it’s appropriate. 

 

None of them want it to end, but by the time Iwaizumi looks at the clock, he finds that it’s two in the morning. They’re all going to be exhausted by the time they have to get up for class. 

 

“We should head to bed,” he comments, cutting off Oikawa talking about alien cats. 

 

“I think Issei is already.” Hanamaki says, smiling fondly. 

 

Iwaizumi and Oikawa look at his box, both surprised to see his cheek resting on the desk, eyes closed. Soft snores sound from him, showing them that he is, indeed, asleep. 

 

“Alright, goodnight guys.” Iwaizumi says, reaching for the end call button, “I love you.”

 

“I love you, too!”

 

“I love you more!”

 

“Wait, no, I love you more--”

 

Iwaizumi chuckles, smiling once more before he hangs up. 

 

* * *

 

**[Tooru]:** ugh it's raining again 

 

**[Issei]:** lmao don't fall into any mud piles

 

**[Tooru]:** MATSUKAWA ISSEI WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THT 

 

**[Takahiro]:** avoid any squirrels on ur way

 

**[Tooru]:** HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO

 

**[Tooru]:** L I S T E N 

 

**[Hajime]:** Stay safe, Tooru. 

 

**[Tooru]:** tY HajIMe I'm glad soMEBodY caRes abOUt mE 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I care about u 

 

**[Issei]:** yea I care about u too 

 

**[Tooru]:** (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

 

**[Tooru]:** promise to never bring those stories up again 

 

**[Takahiro]:** sure 

 

**[Issei]:** whatever 

 

**[Tooru]:** I'll take what I can get 

 

* * *

 

**[Issei]:** oikawa 

 

**[Issei]:** this is kuroo I don't have much time 

 

**[Tooru]:** oh hello! 

 

**[Takahiro]:** yo kuroo

 

**[Issei]:** hanamaki my man 

 

**[Issei]:** wait can't get distracted I'm on a mission 

 

**[Hajime]:** What is the mission? 

 

**[Issei]:** I thought I'd repay the favor and tell u guys some stories bout m’pal matsukawa 

 

**[Takahiro]:** oh please do 

 

**[Issei]:** okok so one time he was napping right 

 

**[Issei]:** I walk over to wake him up and I shake him

 

**[Issei]:** n he fucking grabs me (while asleep) and pulls me close and hugs me like I'm some fucking teddy bear 

 

**[Tooru]:** oh my god 

 

**[Issei]:** I couldn't wake him up 

 

**[Issei]:** i sat in his very nice arms for hours 

 

**[Issei]:** v awkward when he woke up tho 

 

**[Hajime]:** Oh my god 

 

**[Issei]:** there's another one 

 

**[Issei]:** I came home early from my job and he was just sitting there 

 

**[Issei]:** smilin down at his phone 

 

**[Issei]:** AND I GO UP AND HE'S LOOKING AT HIS OHOTOS RIGHT 

 

**[Issei]:** AND IT WAS ALL JST PHOTOS OF YOU GUYS 

 

**[Issei]:** he's a fucking sappy teddy bear 

 

**[Takahiro]:** omg 

 

**[Issei]:** also his face was so red he was so embarrassed 

 

**[Issei]:** I got a photo tho 

 

**[Issei]:** n hr told me not to ever tell anyone 

 

**[Issei]:** but :3c 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I want the photo 

 

**[Issei]:** k let me just get ur number from his phone and put it in mine 

 

**[Tooru]:** I want it too!!

 

**[Issei]:** gtg don't have time makki can send it to you gusaiakannbtbdbduc 

 

**[Hajime]:** He may be dead. 

 

**[Hajime]:** Hopefully he was able to send the picture first. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Tooru]:** OH MY GOD THTS SO CUTE 

 

**[Hajime]:** I feel blessed. 

 

**[Issei]:** god fucking 

 

**[Issei]:** kuroo’s gonna be ded by night fall 

 

**[Takahiro]:** he died doing a great srvice 

 

**[Hajime]:** I'll say nice things at his funeral. 

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** Ushijima broke my Godzilla dvd

 

**[Hajime]:** I don't know how I feel 

 

**[Tooru]:** see ushiwaka is a bad person 

 

**[Tooru]:** told u 

 

**[Hajime]:** It was an accident…

 

**[Issei]:** how does one accidentally break a dvd 

 

**[Hajime]:** He sat on it 

 

**[Hajime]:** I'm not sure why it wasn't in its case

 

**[Hajime]:** Wait apparently Tendou was watching it and just put it on the couch instead of the case. 

 

**[Issei]:** omg rip 

 

**[Tooru]:** r u getting another one 

 

**[Hajime]:** He said he’ll get me another copy, but I'm suffering. 

 

**[Issei]:** poor poor hajime 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I DNT HVW A LOT OF TIME

 

**[Tooru]:** What??? 

 

**[Takahiro]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Takahiro]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Takahiro]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Issei]:** bless u Bokuto 

 

**[Takahiro]:** HE GETS OFF WORK IN TWO MINUTES I CME TO OICK HIM IP 

 

**[Takahiro]:** SO I GOTTA SEBD AS MANY OF THESE OHOTOS BEFORE HE JOTICES I HAVE HIS PHONE 

 

**[Takahiro]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Takahiro]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Takahiro]:** wait I have somw of him sleeping let me get them from my ohjne

 

**[Tooru]:** today is a blessed day 

 

**[Hajime]:** Bokuto you’re a good person 

 

**[Takahiro]:** THX 

 

**[Takahiro]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Takahiro]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Takahiro]:** FUCK HES COMING BACK 

 

**[Issei]:** rip 

 

**[Tooru]:** man I need to make a scrapbook of all these

 

**[Tooru]:** gotta go text kuroo for photos of issei 

 

**[Issei]:** don't 

 

**[Hajime]:** Do it. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I'm killing Bokuto 

 

**[Tooru]:** pls thank him for me before u do 

 

**[Hajime]:** How was work? 

 

**[Takahiro]:** Good, I got paid today so I'm closer to getting enough money

 

**[Tooru]:** :000 thats good !!!! 

 

**[Issei]:** Make it rain bro 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I'll throw money at u if u strip for me 

 

**[Issei]:** no need to pay me (; 

 

**[Takahiro]:** ohoho Skype when I get back to my dorm? (;

 

**[Issei]:** hell yeah 

 

* * *

 

**[Takahiro]:** I have to draw the sky wtf out of all the things 

 

**[Issei]:** isn't that boring 

 

**[Tooru]:** THE SKY CAN BE RWALLY INTERESTING SOMETIMES

 

**[Tooru]:** I suggest drawing a night sky with stars 

 

**[Takahiro]:** half my class is doing night sky just from sitting here I can see then drawing 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I don't want to be generic

 

**[Issei]:** sunset? 

 

**[Hajime]:** sunrise? 

 

**[Tooru]:** a clear blue sky so tht it doesn't take a lot of effort 

 

**[Takahiro]:** ...I'll do a sunrise tht sounds fun 

 

**[Issei]:** I'm hurt 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I'm srry my sweet corn

 

**[Issei]:** it's too late, butter potato

 

**[Issei]:** you've hurt me too much

 

**[Takahiro]:** cotton pie :( 

 

**[Hajime]:** Please don't do this again. 

 

**[Hajime]:** Also, I get why Hiro is talking, but Tooru? Issei? Aren't you in class? 

 

**[Tooru]:** well moTHER 

 

**[Tooru]:** this lesson is boring 

 

**[Issei]:** we are just workin on a paper 

 

**[Hajime]:** Tooru, pay attention. 

 

**[Hajime]:** Now I need to go, because I actually need to pay attention. 

 

**[Issei]:** stay safe 

 

**[Takahiro]:** use protection 

 

**[Tooru]:** dnt choke ;) 

 

**[Hajime]:** What the fuck is wrong with you guys? 

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** The time has come

 

**[Issei]:** what??

 

**[Tooru]:** the aliens are here?!?

 

**[Hajime]:** Time for bed.

 

**[Takahiro]:** wtf hajime u scared me to death

 

**[Takahiro]:** but yea ok

 

**[Tooru]:** awww :(

 

**[Issei]:** tbh tht scared me too

 

**[Takahiro]:** imagine that

 

**[Issei]:** hajime, harbinger of d e a t h 

 

**[Tooru]:** well ok ur right its scary

 

**[Hajime]:** Well

 

**[Hajime]:** That was not the intended effect

 

**[Hajime]:** I should probably phrase it differently

 

**[Takahiro]:** no way keep doing that

 

**[Hajime]:** Huh?

 

**[Issei]:** I like watching you write poetic things

 

**[Tooru]:** i just like how its different

 

**[Hajime]** : I don’t think it’s poetic? I’m just trying to vary the delivery of my reminders

 

**[Takahiro]:** omg hajime writing poetry wil deliver me to death directly

 

**[Hajime]:** I like you alive so I'd better stop

 

**[Issei]:** no

 

**[Issei]:** honestly keep doin that

 

**[Tooru]:** its hilarious n I love it

 

**[Takahiro]:** tho it ws scary

 

**[Takahiro]:** liek UR TIME HAS COME 

 

**[Hajime]:** Oh

 

**[Hajime]:** I see what you mean now

 

**[Hajime]:** I honestly didn't think you guys would interpret it that way

 

**[Issei]:** s all good

 

**[Tooru]:** it was interesting

 

**[Takahiro]:** its hilarious rn tho it was scary

 

**[Hajime]:** I need to think of other ways to announce it then

 

**[Hajime]:** But in all honesty, go to bed

 

**[Takahiro]:** I nd to shower tho

 

**[Issei]:** be careful in thw shower

 

**[Tooru]:** I'm clean I can sleep soon

 

**[Hajime]:** Why do you need to be careful in the shower?

 

**[Takahiro]:** ye y?

 

**[Issei]:** kuroo told mr abt this guy who died in the showrf

 

**[Issei]:** it was brutal n I dnt want it to happen to u guys

 

**[Tooru]:** what

 

**[Takahiro]:** what

 

**[Hajime]:** What?

 

**[Issei]:** so he slipped and fell and bled out in the shower

 

**[Issei]:** hypothermia or something n also shock

 

**[Takahiro]:** well shit

 

**[Takahiro]:** ill be careful

 

**[Tooru]:** PLEASE VE CAREFUL

 

**[Hajime]:** Message us again when you're done

 

**[Takahiro]:** yes ofc

 

**[Takahiro]:** be back soon

 

**[Tooru]:** now I canr sleep im too scared for hiro

 

**[Issei]:** ikr

 

**[Issei]:** screw kuroo for telling me ths now I'm scared

 

**[Hajime]:** It's okay. He'll be okay.

 

_ Half an hour later _

 

**[Takahiro]:** im back

 

**[Tooru]:** thk god

 

**[Issei]:** ur safe 

 

**[Hajime]:** I'm glad you survived

 

**[Takahiro]:** it wasnt tht bad?

 

**[Takahiro]:** u guys didnt hv to wait up for me

 

**[Hajime]:** We had to know you were safe

 

**[Issei]:** yea

 

**[Issei]:** i would miss you too much if u were gone

 

**[Tooru]:** takahirooo ur safeeee 

 

**[Tooru]:** (｡ŏ﹏ŏ)

 

**[Tooru]:** im so glad

 

**[Takahiro]:** I

 

**[Takahiro]:** Thanks guys

 

**[Takahiro]:** I love u all

 

**[Hajime]:** We love you too

 

**[Hajime]:** <3

 

**[Issei]:** (´ε｀ )♡

 

**[Tooru]:** (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘)

 

**[Takahiro]:** ლ(´◉❥◉｀ლ)

 

**[Hajime]:** Okay, you guys should sleep now

 

**[Issei]:** never

 

**[Takahiro]:** come back and let me love u

 

**[Tooru]:** already on it

 

**[Tooru]:** ฅ(♡ơ ₃ơ)ฅ

 

**[Takahiro]:** ෆ⃛(ˇᵋ ˇෆೄ

 

**[Issei]:** (づ￣ ³￣)づ

 

_ Cut for length _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We were surprised to see we wrote no angst for this chapter too


	4. Water and Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're posting this a little early because we are both laptop-less and busy in 12 hours when it's actually supposed to be posted! Please enjoy! :D

**[Takahiro]:** so guys

 

**[Takahiro]:** has anyone considered horoscopes before?

 

**[Takahiro]:** or zodiacs or whatever u call it

 

**[Tooru]:** oooh yes

 

**[Tooru]:** star signs right?

 

**[Tooru]:** Im a Cancer!

 

**[Takahiro]:** I know I checked it up ;)

 

**[Tooru]:** how did you find out about zodiac signs??

 

**[Takahiro]:** bo threw a crossword at me one day and i saw it on the opposit pg

 

**[Takahiro]:** thought it looked cool so i went to google it

 

**[Takahiro]:** so much of this is tru i love it

 

**[Tooru]:** ikrrrrr

 

**[Hajime]:** Tooru I thought I told you not to put too much stock in that stuff

 

**[Tooru]:** iwachan!

 

**[Tooru]:** eehhh but its just for fun 

 

**[Takahiro]:** most of it is a lot treu thoug

 

**[Issei]:** horoscoped are just a way to trick ur money

 

**[Takahiro]:** isnt that fortune telling ?

 

**[Issei]:** idk its all the saem to me

 

**[Hajime]:** Yeah I don’t like it

 

**[Hajime]:** Why trust a scam like this when you can make your own path?

 

**[Tooru]:** it’s just for fun ٩(๑`^´๑)۶

 

**[Tooru]:** relax

 

**[Takahiro]:** yea its just interesting

 

**[Issei]:** as long as it isn’t more than tht

 

**[Hajime]:** We don’t want you to be hurt if it’s false

 

**[Tooru]:** awww  <3

 

**[Takahiro]:** dnt wrry

 

**[Takahiro]:** i dont actually believe it

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** Hiro? 

 

**[Takahiro]:** am I in troubke 

 

**[Issei]:** wtf no

 

**[Tooru]:** we have good news!!!! 

 

**[Takahiro]:** ??? 

 

**[Takahiro]:** did someone get a new cat? 

 

**[Hajime]:** Well, 

 

**[Issei]:** in three days 

 

**[Tooru]:** we all have time off 

 

**[Hajime]:** And our parents actually chipped in and helped 

 

**[Issei]:** gave us money n stuff u kno 

 

**[Tooru]:** and so!!!! 

 

**[Hajime]:** In three days 

 

**[Issei]:** I alr said tht 

 

**[Issei]:** but yes three days time 

 

**[Tooru]:** we are going to come down and visit you!!! 

 

**[Takahiro]:** wait srsly??? 

 

**[Issei]:** yup

 

**[Takahiro]:** thats great!!!! 

 

**[Takahiro]:** Akaashi is coming tomorrow 

 

**[Takahiro]:** Bo and I actually don't have much time off and we have tests that day so Akaashi will have to pick you guys up

 

**[Takahiro]:** no wait nvm I'll skip class lmao

 

**[Hajime]:** What, no. It's a test. Akaashi picking us up is fine. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** but D: 

 

**[Issei]:** we’ll meet u back at the dorm (; 

 

**[Tooru]:** Issei we won't be doing anything bad while aka-chan is there!!!

 

**[Issei]:** boo 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I can't wait to see u guys!!!!!!!

 

**[Takahiro]:** sorry tht u have to waste money to come all the way down here

 

**[Hajime]:** It's not wasting, Takahiro. 

 

**[Tooru]:** yea it's not! 

 

**[Issei]:** can't wait to see ur handsome face in person 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I can't wait to hear ur voice in person 

 

**[Hajime]:** Ha, gay. 

 

**[Tooru]:** hajime wtf 

 

* * *

 

**[Takahiro]:** one day left (￣ヮ￣)

 

**[Issei]:** :^) can't wait babe 

 

**[Takahiro]:** can't wait either :) 

 

**[Tooru]:** I call hugging him first

 

**[Hajime]:** Wait, no. 

 

**[Tooru]:** I called dibs 

 

**[Issei]:** it's first come first serve 

 

**[Issei]:** n we all know I'll get there first 

 

**[Hajime]:** Bullshit. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** idc who's first I'll just hug whoever I see first 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I may cry 

 

**[Tooru]:** I'm already crying 

 

**[Hajime]:** Why are you crying? What? 

 

**[Tooru]:** I haven't seen Hiro in so long and I miss him!!!!

 

**[Takahiro]:** aw

 

**[Takahiro]:** I miss u too<3 

 

**[Issei]:** I miss u more 

 

**[Hajime]:** I miss you the most. 

 

**[Tooru]:** I miss you the….mostest 

 

**[Issei]:** thts not a word 

 

**[Tooru]:** it is now 

 

**[Takahiro]:** u guys are such dorks jfc 

 

**[Hajime]:** But we’re your dorks ;) 

 

**[Issei]:** that was gay 

 

**[Tooru]:** I don't think ive ever seen haji use a winky face 

 

**[Takahiro]:** this is the twilight zone 

 

**[Issei]:** tht makes sense 

 

* * *

 

“Iwaizumi. Your computer is ringing.”

 

“Huh?” Iwaizumi pokes his head out of their kitchenette, frowning at Ushijima. “Why would my laptop be--” His eyes widen in realisation. “Come mind the fire for a bit, I’ll answer it on my phone.”

 

It’s too late. Ushijima has picked up the call on the laptop, and he can hear Oikawa’s indignant screams as he comes face to face with the person he dislikes the most. (He can’t really say  _ hate _ because it’s not true. Oikawa is oddly incapable of hating people.)

 

Iwaizumi sighs and calls out again. “Ushijima, bring the laptop to me, please. I’m almost done, but I want to talk to them.”

 

“Noted.” There’s a cacophony of grumbling and laughter as Ushijima walks to the kitchenette and sets the laptop on the island table. “Shall I take dinner in my room?”

 

“That would be very kind of you. Just give me a minute.” Iwaizumi takes out the plates and divides the food into half, placing an even portion on each before handing one to Ushijima. His roommate nods in thanks and leaves, even pausing to wave goodbye to Hanamaki and Matsukawa.

 

Iwaizumi puts the pan in the sink before taking his plate and sitting in front of the laptop. “Hi guys. Keep talking, don't mind me.”

 

Hanamaki places his chin in the cup of his hands, gazing at him with endearment. “Nah. I think I'm going to sit here and appreciate the view.”

 

“Same, same.” Matsukawa grins lazily from his square on the screen, head pillowed on his arms. His eyes are halfway closed with tiredness though it is not yet past dinnertime.

 

Iwaizumi flicks his eyes over to Oikawa’s side of the screen, only to see him slurping up cup noodles, eyes wide and fixed on him. The brunet jumps a little when Iwaizumi glares at him, quickly sucking up the noodles and asking round a full mouth, “Waf?”

 

“Tooru,  _ what _ have I said about instant ramen when there is a convenience store  _ just below your block-- _ ”

 

“Bug I waf ragie!”

 

“Stop talking with your mouth full, no one understands you.”

 

Oikawa pouts but dutifully swallows his mouthful of noodles. “I was lazy, and I wanted to talk to you guys!” He whines. “It feels like  _ ages  _ since I saw any of you!”

 

“Same.” Hanamaki sighs, slumping over so that all they see is the top of his head. “I can’t wait to see you guys in person again.”

 

Iwaizumi smiles at the top of his head. “I can’t wait either.”

 

“Me neither.”

 

“Mattsun, I saw you last week.” 

 

“I know, but I miss the four of us. It’s not the same.”

 

Hanamaki’s fingernails dig into his arms as a sudden sharp pang blooms in his heart. He’s very glad that they can’t see him, because he’s sure his face must be twisted with sadness. 

 

(It’s not fair it’s not fair.)

 

_ Just one more day _ , he promises his traitorous heart.  _ One more day, don’t feel sorry for yourself. _

 

He plasters a fond look on his face as he sits back up, turning his wistful gaze to Iwaizumi’s side of the screen when he begins another angry rant about Oikawa pulling out _yet_ _another_ cup of instant noodles to eat. “I swear, Shittykawa, when we’re all together again and I can force you to eat healthily--”

 

“Seventeen more hours!” Oikawa sings, then promptly stuffs more noodles in his mouth. “You canch shtop me! Bejides, tomorraw Makki can cooksh for ush!”

 

Hanamaki laughs at his childish display, the ache in his chest easing up. “Hell yeah I can.”

 

“I call cheese-filled steak.”

 

“Hey, keep it simple! We’re not trying to eat Takahiro out of his house!”

 

Hanamaki snorts at Matsukawa’s indignant look and Iwaizumi’s stern face. “I don’t mind. I mean, when’s the next time I’ll be able to cook for you guys?” He pulls his mouth into a lopsided grin, bittersweet longing flooding his veins.

 

The three faces on the screen smile back at him, and he feels his courage wilt a little at their trusting, open faces. 

 

“In that case, I want shoyu ramen.”

 

“Tempura.”

 

“Cheese-filled steak.”

 

“Oh, did I not mention?” Hanamaki taps his chin with false contemplation. “You guys have to pay for your own ingredients.”

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“Did you seriously think I work for free?” He folds his arms and beams at them. “At least it’s just the ingredients and not the whole dish.”

 

“You really know how to make a man poor.”

 

“Makki, since when did you get so good at business?”

 

“I like the way you think.”

 

“It’s your own fault for requesting ridiculous things,” he tells them gleefully. “But I  _ will  _ cook for you. I miss cooking other food, Bo always wants meat and I’m bored of teriyaki.”

 

There are cheers from all sides, and Hanamaki lets a tiny real smile lift his lips.

 

One more day.

 

Just one more day.

 

He can hold on for just one more day.

 

~~~~~

 

“--maki. Bro, pal, amigo. Wake up.” 

 

Hanamaki groans, rolling over on his side. He pries his eyes open, complaint on the tip of his tongue until he sees the time. 

 

Eight in the morning. His class started at seven--  _ Shit.  _

 

Throwing the covers off his body, he launches himself out of the bed. Only for him to fail, the covers catching his foot and sending him face-planting into the carpet. Something else goes barreling to the ground, hitting the carpet with a thud. He hisses in pain, untangling himself from the blanket so he can see the damage. 

 

His laptop. Why was it-- Oh. He fell asleep talking to them last night, that’s right. 

 

“Woah, calm down, it’s okay.”

 

“It’s not, Bo! I missed my test-- You did too!”

 

Bokuto sighs, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “Classes were canceled.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“There’s a typhoon warning, no one is allowed to go anywhere,” Akaashi’s calm voice says from the doorway. Hanamaki blinks slowly, his tired mind spinning the information around. No classes. That’s a good thing, if he thinks about it. 

 

“Oh, okay, well then. I’ll get dressed then so you don’t have to worry about picking up the others late--”

 

“Hanamaki-san, the trains aren’t running today, either.” Akaashi says gently, stepping into the room. 

 

Hanamaki freezes, jerking his head up in shock. He looks at Akaashi, desperately searching for any signs that he’s lying. When he finds none, he looks at Bokuto. He looks guilty and upset, which is strange because it’s not his fault, but--

 

“I’m sorry, Makki,” Bokuto sighs, offering up a weak smile. “I-- I know how badly you wanted to see them! And now they can’t come down, and there’s no way to know when they’ll have free time again-- And I’m making it worse, oh god, bro, I’m so sorry-- The phone services are down too so we can’t contact them and--”

 

“Bokuto-san, calm down. It’s not your fault.” 

 

“Yeah, Bo, it’s not your fault.” Hanamaki says, sitting back on his bed. Of course today of all days would have a horrible storm. How come he didn’t hear the rain pelting against the roof when he woke up? Because now that he’s more awake, he can hear the rain and thunder mixing together, creating some morbid song. 

 

Plus, Akaashi said ‘no one is allowed to go anywhere’. The train station is an ‘anywhere’. 

 

Clearing his throat, Hanamaki plasters on a fake smile. “So, what are we doing today?” 

 

~~~~~

 

Hanamaki sits in front of the couch, blanket wrapped tightly around his shoulders. Akaashi and Bokuto took the couch -- they did offer it to him, but he said no -- and so he took the ground. He stares into the distance, ignoring the soft whispers from Akaashi and Bokuto. There wasn’t really anything to do, so they’ve just been sitting there for hours. 

 

What joy. 

 

“Makki! The connection is back!” 

 

Hanamaki tears his gaze away from the wall, looking behind and up to raise an eyebrow at Bokuto. The words sink in once he sees Bokuto pulling out his phone. 

 

Ah, but he doesn’t really feel like talking to anyone. He’s not sure he can hold up his mask any longer. Rising to his feet and tightening the blanket around him, he smiles at the two on the couch. “I’ll give you guys some privacy, thank you for keeping me company these past few hours.” And before they can argue, he shuffles off to his room. 

 

Gently closing the door behind him, he plops down on his bed. He takes a moment to stare out at nothing, trying to keep the tears at bay. He was just...so  _ excited  _ to finally see them. He was so ready to see them, to hear their voices in person, to just...be near them. 

 

But of course fate is not on his side. He shouldn’t even be surprised. 

 

_ “Fuck this,”  _ he whispers under his breath, burrowing under his blanket. He lets his eyes slide close, somehow falling into a restless sleep. 

 

~~~~~

 

**[Oikawa]:** Hiro （；へ：）

 

**[Issei]:** he may not have his connection back 

 

**[Hajime]:** Well, let’s not spam him, guys. 

 

**[Tooru]:** but…

 

**[Issei]:** just come into the kitchen ok 

 

**[Hajime]:** We made hot chocolate 

 

Hanamaki stares at the messages, his heart beating rapidly. They’re all together  _ again.  _ Without him. Taking a shaky breath, Hanamaki sets his phone aside. He then slumps forward, hiding his face in his hands. He doesn’t want to cry, but he can’t help it when a couple stray tears roll down his cheeks. 

 

Choking back a sob, he shakily rises to his feet. 

 

_ It’s not fair.  _

 

(It’s not their fault, though. It’s the storm’s fault. It’s life’s fault. Because life hates him, he knows this, and has known it his whole life.)

 

_ But it’s still not fair.  _

 

A knock on his door causes him to jump, and he quickly rubs his eyes. 

 

“Makki? Are you sleeping? Your boyfriends messaged you, they want to talk.”

 

Hanamaki stays silent. 

 

“Uh, I think he’s sleeping. His door’s locked.” Bokuto says, and Hanamaki concludes that he’s on the phone with one of them. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll tell him when he wakes up.” Then there’s the sound of Bokuto walking away, talking into the phone.  

 

Sinking back down onto his bed, he grabs his phone. He really doesn’t want to talk to them, because it’s  _ not fair _ . He’s alone while they’re all together again. 

 

(He has to remind himself ten more times that it’s not their fault. That they did nothing wrong.)

 

An hour passes with him just staring at nothing, the empty feeling in his chest spreading until he feels numb all over. He doesn't move a muscle, ignoring the buzzing from his phone every time it goes off. 

 

Finally forcing himself to his feet, he quietly shuffles out of his room. He walks into the living room, smiling at the sight of Akaashi and Bokuto in front of him. They’re both asleep, cuddled together on the couch and--

 

He hates the pang of jealously that sparks. 

 

Grabbing a piece of paper, he scribbles out a small message. He sets it onto the coffee table for when they wake up, and turns on his heel towards the door. Slipping his shoes on, he walks out the door. He walks down the long hallway, down the stairs, and out the front door. Right into the storm. 

 

~~~~~

 

He decides to spend the rest of the day in the pouring rain, sitting on a park bench. He doesn’t care if he gets sick, because, well, he doesn’t care about himself. Hasn’t for a long time. He usually only takes care of himself for the others, knowing it’d hurt them if he hurt himself on purpose. 

 

But, at the moment, he wants to be alone. He’s being  _ forced  _ to be alone because of this stupid storm, so he might as well take advantage of it while he can. 

 

He tilts his head back, allowing the rain to lash across his face, the harsh wind throwing raindrops across his skin like daggers. A thought pops into his mind, and he smiles self-deprecatingly to himself.

 

Typhoons were maelstroms of rain and wind, water and air. How ironic, that the very elements that defined the four of them would be the one to keep them apart.

 

(Water for Cancer and Pisces, air for Gemini and Aquarius.)

 

(What an imbalance, what a turbulent combination.)

 

(Did the water cover and repress the air, until they fizzled up in streams of bubbles? Did the air blow across the surface of the water, teasing it, churning it up, agitating it but never really engaging it?)

 

(Or did they mix together, rile each other up to form a dangerous storm like the one he was sitting in?)

 

( **_Water and air signs will only get along if both parties make it work._ ** )

 

(Maybe that was it. They were fighting, and so the weather showed it.)

 

Ah, but horoscopes weren’t true, were they? 

 

He snorts at himself. Why should he listen to someone else? What was it that cynics always said? Trust no one but yourself?

 

(But Iwaizumi and Matsukawa were so much more than just  _ someone else. _ )

 

(Were they really? They were all together, while he sat in Kyoto alone and by himself.)

 

(No, no, no, it's not their fault, it's the typhoon's fault.)

 

He sighs as he watches a bird hop next to a puddle, shaking its feathers dry, only for it to get soaked again a second later. 

 

“Life is so unfair, huh?” He says to the small bird, smiling as it turns to him. It hops over to him, taking shelter under his leg. Laughing a little, he looks down at the small animal. “I guess only good things happen to people who have others there for them, huh? I wish I had someone to hide under.” 

 

The bird only chirps noisily, shaking its feathers out. 

 

“I’m being nice here, the least you could do is indulge me.” The bird ruffles its feathers up in reply. 

 

“Fair enough,” Hanamaki hums, reaching down to run a finger through its feathers. It lets him, surprisingly, even leaning in to his touch. 

 

A thought suddenly pops up in Hanamaki’s mind as he studies the small bird. “Were you left behind?”

 

The bird looks up with its beady eyes, chirping sadly. 

 

“Yeah, I was, too. But don’t worry, you’re not alone now.”

 

~~~~~

 

He stays there with the little bird, even as night falls. He feels his anxiety build up, but he reasons that no one else would be out in this crazy storm. 

 

It works. 

 

“Hey, little guy, I gotta go home, will you be okay?” 

 

He takes the small chirp it gives him as a yes, standing up. But then the bird squawks loudly, hopping to hide under him again. “Alright, alright,” Hanamaki laughs, bending down to gently pick it up. He hunches his back, leaning over so that he can block the rain from hitting the bird. With long, quick strides, he makes his way back to the dorm. 

 

He’s sopping wet, clothes clinging to his skin as he makes his way up the steps. He’s glad no one else is out of their rooms at the moment. 

 

“Be quiet, okay?” He whispers to the bird, quickly opening the door. He’s instantly met with a wide-eyed Bokuto on the phone, Akaashi standing next to him. 

 

“Makki!” he screeches, handing the phone to Akaashi. He makes a move to hug Hanamaki, but Hanamaki sidesteps, dodging it. 

 

“Hello,” he nods, setting the small bird on the counter. Akaashi raises an eyebrow at the animal. 

 

“Yes, he’s back.” Akaashi says into the phone. Hanamaki doesn’t need to guess who he’s talking to, he already knows. Akaashi holds the phone out, waiting for Hanamaki to take it. 

 

“Sorry, I need to take a shower. Take care of my friend here, okay? I’ll talk to them after,” he says in a rush, swiftly making a run for the restroom. He slams the door shut behind him, breathing heavily. 

 

He’s not sure why he still doesn’t want to talk to them. 

 

~~~~~

 

_ “Makki! You can’t hide from us forever!” _

 

Hanamaki lets a sneer twist his lips.  _ Cancerians are emotional and sensitive, and care about their loved ones a lot.  _

 

_ No wonder Oikawa always knows. _

 

He pushes down the angry retort before it can slip out, opting for a heavy sigh instead. “I’m sorry.”

 

_ “Have you showered? Did you dry your hair? Don’t catch a cold!” _

 

_ I don't care. _

 

“Yes mom,” he forces out. “Since when did you take Iwa-- Hajime’s job?”

 

_ Don’t let them know. Pretend everything is alright. _

 

There’s mumbling from the other end, and the surrounding noise dims. Oikawa’s voice is quiet when he next speaks.  _ “Takahiro, are you okay?” _

 

_ Don’t call me that. You don’t have the right to call me that. _

 

“Yeah,” he forces out. “I’m just… I’m just sad that you guys couldn’t come.”

 

_ “Are you lying to me?” _

 

_ He knows. He always knows. _

 

“No,” he says, and it’s the truth. He really is upset that they couldn’t make it, but it’s not their fault.

 

_ “Tooru? Put him on loudspeaker, I want all of us to talk to him.” _

 

But it is their fault that they can be together and he can’t.

 

(No, no, no, it’s the  _ weather’s  _ fault, it’s not their fault--)

 

(But they are all in Tokyo together, and he is so far away.)

 

There’s a tightness in his throat at the thought, and someone is squeezing his chest tightly, so tightly that he can’t breathe--

 

_ “Hey, ‘Hiro.” _

 

Matsukawa. 

 

“Issei,” he breathes, and it’s easier to see now, easier to push past the red film over his vision. Matsukawa is his sea of calm, his slightly more rational self, his spot of peace. He’s never so assured as when he’s with him.

 

( ** _Pisces_** **_are gentle and compassionate and click the best with anyone out of all the zodiac signs._** )

 

His heart falls.

 

He  _ isn’t _ with him.

 

_ “Takahiro.”  _  The softest of exhaled breaths, laced with regret and heavy with guilt.

 

_ Iwaizumi. _

 

( **_Gemini are intuitive and excellent communicators, thoughtful and quick-witted._ ** )

 

“Hey Hajime.”  _ Don’t let them know, don’t let them know, don’t let them know. _

 

_ “Are you alright?” _

 

“I’m better now,” he says, and a little spot in his chest tells him it’s true. Sitting in the rain and finding that little bird, combined with the hot shower, have helped his mood greatly.

 

But not enough.

 

“How's the storm over on your end?”

 

_ “It's already lightening up. But I suspect we'll be stranded here for another day or so.” _

 

_ Stranded. As if you don't have them there with you, and you can spend time together while waiting it out. _

 

“Have fun,” he says lightly. “It's always better to face a storm together.”

 

_ “'Hiro…”   _ Matsukawa's voice is full of pain, and Hanamaki feels his heart sink lower. 

 

_ Don't be sad. Smile. I want you to smile, even without me. _

 

( **_Don't be a martyr, you're not the one in the worse situation._ ** )

 

_ “It's not the same without you here.” _

 

Hanamaki's throat goes dry, and he swallows with difficulty before saying, “Then you should have twice as much fun to make up for it. And send me lots of pictures.”

 

_ “We could Skype you and watch a movie together or something!” _ Oikawa chirped.  _ “That'll be fun!” _

 

(Is he hearing things? Is his brain making up the stress in Oikawa's voice? The hesitancy, the reluctance?)

 

( **_Cancerians are known for their unpredictable mood swings._ ** )

 

Hanamaki forces a laugh and shakes his head before he remembers that they can't see him. “No, there's no need. Just take photos. Photos last longer, and there will be unglams, which are the  _ best _ blackmail material.”

 

He hears Matsukawa snort, and a small smile quirks his lips.  _ “That's true.” _

 

“I have another idea. Make a competition of it. The person who can take the most unglam pictures of the others wins.” It sounds like a better idea in his head, and now he dreads the question that is sure to follow, the one that he doesn't have an answer for.

 

_ “What's the prize?” _

 

Hanamaki hums as he pretends to think. (Only, he  _ is _ thinking. Very, very hard.) He lets out a small 'Aha!’ when he comes up with something, but it isn't a very good prize.

 

“Winner gets Skype sex with me, and I'll do whatever you want me to.”

 

There's a choking sound on the other end, and he grins when he recognises it as Iwaizumi. Matsukawa and Oikawa are laughing in the background as they thump him on the back.

 

(It's nice, to hear their laughs, even though they're not with him.)

 

(He wishes he could see their faces, their reactions.)

 

(He needs to stop wishing for things that can never come true.)

 

(He needs to stop wishing for things that have already been determined as impossible by the stars.)

 

(When did he become this invested in such inane things?)

 

(He needs to stop.)

 

It's a while before Matsukawa regains enough sense to ask him,  _ “What's so different about this one? We have Skype sex all the time.” _

 

“Oh, just, you know,” Hanamaki tugs on his wet hair, feigning innocence, “The other two losers have to watch the entire thing without touching themselves.”

 

Iwaizumi bursts into full-on coughs this time, and Hanamaki has to pull the phone away from his ear with how loudly the others are laughing.  _ “You are  _ evil _.” _

 

“Hey, I need some form of entertainment, right?” He puts as much of a pout into his voice as he can. (It's not difficult. The difficult part is pretending it's a joke, that he's not still devastated.) “Besides, don't you want to see who can come with nothing but visual stimulation?”

 

_ “‘Hirooo, you're assuming that Issei will win this!” _

 

_ “Yeah, that's not fair.” _

 

“Too bad, suckers. Now get to it. I want to be spammed with unglam pictures the moment this call ends.”  _ Please, please, let it end. This pretending is exhausting. _

 

_ “Your phone will be vibrating so much, you could use it to get off,”  _ Oikawa promises, and then they are saying their goodbyes and the line clicks off.

 

Hanamaki drops the phone onto his bed, falling on his side and curling up. 

 

_ It's over it's over it's over I did it I lied to them. _

 

But there's no triumph. There's only a gaping maw, the empty void spreading from his chest to the rest of his body.

 

The tears don't come, but sleep does, taking him away from his misery for a little while.

 

~~~~~

 

**[Tooru]:** im too lazy to cook, im getting subway insread

 

**[Tooru]:** tel me ur orders quick I'm nearly ther

 

**[Issei]:** roast beef extra cheese w lettuce and tomatoes

 

**[Issei]:** honey oat w sweet onion n honey mustard

 

**[Tooru]:** wht abt u hajime?

 

**[Hajime]:** Egg mayo work all the vegetables except jalapeños

 

**[Hajime]:** Hearty Italian bread, ranch sauce

 

**[Hajime]:** Work not work

 

**[Hajime]:** Worj*

 

**[Hajime]:** WITH DAMNIT

 

**[Issei]:** pfft

 

**[Tooru]:** maybe it's not a smert idea to get veggies

 

**[Issei]:** definitely not smert

 

**[Tooru]:** I don't think u build those arms work veg

 

**[Hajime]:** Shut up and tske the order

 

**[Hajime]:** Take*

 

Hanamaki locks his phone and tosses it on the bed behind him. The bird on his knee peeps in protest, startled by the thump. 

 

“Sorry, sorry.” He sighs and reaches out to pet its head, stroking the smooth feathers. “I'm just mad. Not at you,” he adds, after it shoots him an affronted look.

 

The bird cheeps and flaps its wings at him, slapping his fingers. He blinks at it in surprise. “What? You want to know who I'm mad at?”

 

It chirps and fluffs up, looking oddly proud of itself. Hanamaki chuckles and strokes its back. “Those were my boyfriends. They're just ordering food, but, I don't know, I feel left out.” He shakes his head at himself. “There's no reason for me to feel like that, because I can't order anything anyway, I'm not with them. But I feel  _ left out _ . That doesn't even make sense, does it?”

 

The bird chirps and hops onto his hand, cocking its head at him. He smiles sadly at it, the ache in his chest deepening. “You know, a while back I found this thing about zodiac signs, horoscopes, or whatever you call it. And because I like dumb things, I went and ran me and my boyfriends’ horoscopes through a love compatibility engine. You know what it said?”

 

_ Cheep. _

 

“It said that we weren't very compatible.” He drops his gaze to the floor, sighing round the lump in his throat. “Air and water signs aren't meant to mix in the first place, and now there are two each.”

 

_ Chirp. _

 

“Well, the site did say that it could work out if both parties put effort into maintaining the relationship. But it doesn't seem like they're trying very hard sometimes.” He pauses, biting his lip. “That's not fair. I guess they are trying, but so am I, and yet we're still stuck here, separated by a storm of wind and rain. Maybe I could have had an easier love life if I picked someone with a compatible sign but nope, my heart is traitorous, and picked three men, two of which are not compatible.”

 

He sighs and lifts the bird on his hand up to his face. “I wouldn't give them up for anything, but sometimes I wonder if I could have saved myself the pain by choosing someone else. But I guess I'll never know, now.

 

“Well, enough complaining from me. What about you? Do you wish you still had your family? Do you want to find them? Even though they left you behind?”

 

A peep, and it bends over to peck lightly at his thumbnail, then straightens and fluffs itself up. Hanamaki smiles. 

 

“I don't know what that means, but I guess you're happy to be with me?”

 

A louder, happier-sounding cheep. 

 

“Well then,” Hanamaki picks himself off the ground and tries to put the bird on his shoulder (he doesn't succeed), “Why don't we go find some food of our own?”

 

He exits the room, excited bird in hand.

 

On the bed, his phone vibrates restlessly, the sound muffled by the sheets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Safyre's Tumblr: [SapphyreLily](sapphyrelily.tumblr.com)
> 
> Jamie's Tumblr: [Seijouho](seijouho.tumblr.com)


	5. Burning Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes,,,finally,,,,,,,the main plot 
> 
> Buckle up, kids. ( ┐΄✹ਊ✹)┐

**[Takahiro]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Takahiro]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Takahiro]:** LOOK AT HIM SLEEP

 

**[Takahiro]:** _ {one image attached}  _

 

**[Takahiro]:** (♥ω♥*)

 

**[Hajime]:** Your Snapchat is filled with pictures of that bird 

 

**[Hajime]:** You must really like it

 

**[Takahiro]:** ‘it’ has a nAME 

 

**[Takahiro]:** and ‘it’ is a HE 

 

**[Hajime]:** You're very defensive about this bird. 

 

**[Issei]:** he did technically save it from drowning in tht storm

 

**[Tooru]:** I DNT BLAME HIM THT BIRD IS SO CUTE 

 

**[Issei]:** whats his name 

 

**[Takahiro]:** Ochinko 

 

**[Takahiro]:** Chinchin for short 

 

**[Hajime]:** Please tell me you're joking. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** nope~ 

 

**[Issei]:** thats amazing 

 

**[Tooru]:** I agree it's amazing 

 

**[Takahiro]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Takahiro]:** he's on my head nowwww 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I love him so much ╥﹏╥

 

**[Issei]:** ur a father, hiro 

 

**[Tooru]:** take good care of him

 

**[Hajime]:** You'll need to let it go sometime, though. It's a wild animal. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** k 

 

**[Issei]:** oh snap

 

**[Tooru]:** he gave you the ‘k’ 

 

**[Tooru]:** I do agree though, it’s going to need to be let go sooner or later! 

 

**[Takahiro]:** he can leave whenever ok 

 

**[Takahiro]:** the window is open he's free to leave 

 

**[Issei]:** ur really attached to that bird huh

 

**[Takahiro]:** we r v similar 

 

**[Hajime]:** He's an animal? You're a person?

 

**[Takahiro]:** I don't expect u to understand 

 

**[Takahiro]:** but I like him ok so I'm gonna take care of him and love him while hes around

 

**[Hajime]:** I'm still confused as to how you can be similar to a bird? 

 

**[Issei]:** well the bird is cute and Hiro is cute thats one similarity 

 

**[Takahiro]:** he was alone when I found him

 

**[Takahiro]:** his family left him behind 

 

**[Hajime]:** Okay, so you felt a need to protect him? 

 

**[Tooru]:** oh 

 

**[Issei]:** huh? 

 

**[Tooru]:** I understand now, I'm sorry Hiro 

 

**[Hajime]:** ???

 

**[Takahiro]:** it's fine

 

**[Takahiro]:** not your faultp

 

**[Issei]:** what's happening???

 

**[Tooru]:** don't worry about it 

 

**[Tooru]:** so anyways I'm pretty sure Suga is an alien 

 

* * *

 

**[Tooru]:** HIRO ISNT THE ONLY INE WITH A NEW ADDITION 

 

**[Hajime]:** What did you get?

 

**[Tooru]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Issei]:** holy shit I hate u 

 

**[Issei]:** I  _ love  _ plants 

 

**[Issei]:** this is so unfair

 

**[Takahiro]:** THATS A CUTE CACTUS TOORU

 

**[Takahiro]:** WHATS ITS NAME

 

**[Hajime]:** Do people actually name their plants?

 

**[Issei]:** yes

 

**[Takahiro]:** yes 

 

**[Tooru]:** iwa-chan 

 

**[Hajime]:** Huh? 

 

**[Tooru]:** thats it's name!

 

**[Issei]:** omg 

 

**[Hajime]:** Are you serious 

 

**[Tooru]:** yup :3c 

 

**[Takahiro]:** thats the best name 

 

**[Takahiro]:** what a  _ smert  _ idea to get that cactus

 

**[Issei]:** even smerter idea was naming it that 

 

**[Hajime]:** I honestly hate you all

 

**[Hajime]:** I thought you all forgot about that 

 

**[Tooru]:** #NeverForget 

 

**[Issei]:** #NeverForget 

 

**[Takahiro]:** #NeverForget 

 

**[Hajime]:** I'm going, bye. 

 

**[Issei]:** wait hajime no 

 

**[Tooru]:** it's not a smert idea to leave 

 

**[Hajime]:** -.- 

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** I wabt to see u all

 

**[Hajime]:** I middyog all sm 

 

**[Hajime]:** its veen lihr thre mintgs since I last sar any of u 

 

**[Issei]:** uh r u okay? 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I'm not sure what half of that means but I think I can guess 

 

**[Hajime]:** hnnnnsjfjf 

 

**[Tooru]:** I'm kind of concerned

 

**[Hajime]:** I keep lookinh at th photy 

 

**[Issei]:** what photo? 

 

**[Hajime]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Takahiro]:** WTF WHEN DID U GET THT 

 

**[Takahiro]:** DELETE IT RN 

 

**[Tooru]:** holy shit 

 

**[Issei]:** now I'm fucking turned on 

 

**[Hajime]:** when it was jus u n me date n u came over tht one tim 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I DON'T REMEMBER YOU TAKING A PHOTO OF ME 

 

**[Issei]:** I'm glad he did tho

 

**[Tooru]:** same

 

**[Tooru]:** so so sexy I could jerk off to this 

 

**[Takahiro]:** STOP NO WAT I DON'T REMEMBER TGIS 

 

**[Issei]:** lmao u r asleep in the photo 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I'm NAKED 

 

**[Tooru]:** but asleep as well

 

**[Hajime]:** I have moreeeee

 

**[Takahiro]:** WHAT 

 

**[Issei]:** pls send them 

 

**[Tooru]:** pls

 

**[Takahiro]:** HAJIME WHAT IS WRONF W U 

 

**[Hajime]:** I jus rlly miss u 

 

**[Hajime]:** n I forgot bout rhwse photos 

 

**[Hajime]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Takahiro]:** OH MY GOD WTF 

 

**[Issei]:** hnnnnn 

 

**[Tooru]:** brb I gotta take care of smthing 

 

**[Takahiro]:** WTF 

 

**[Hajime]:** Hello, this is Ushijima. 

 

**[Hajime]:** Iwaizumi has passed out. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** is he ok??

 

**[Issei]:** he couldn't handle your naked body lol

 

**[Hajime]:** No, he just drank too much. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** alr this makes more sense now 

 

**[Issei]:** is tooru actually jerking off omg 

 

**[Takahiro]:** u just wanna watch him 

 

**[Issei]:** ur not wrong 

 

**[Hajime]:** If you could leave that talk for some other time, it would be greatly appreciated. 

 

**[Hajime]:** Iwaizumi will be okay, by the way. He’ll just have a hangover tomorrow. 

 

**[Issei]:** give him medicine

 

**[Takahiro]:** give him hell for me for tking those pictures 

 

**[Issei]:** lmao who would've thought hajime liked tht kind of stuff 

 

**[Takahiro]:** can we plz never talk about this again 

 

**[Issei]:** no promises babe 

 

**[Hajime]:** Good night now. 

 

**[Issei]:** night ushiwaka

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** I. Am so so sorry. 

 

**[Issei]:** lol

 

**[Tooru]:** IT'S OKAY THOSE PICTURES WERE GREAT 

 

**[Hajime]:** I never meant to show the pictures to anyone. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** y did u even take them

 

**[Issei]:** and why were u drinking?

 

**[Hajime]:** You just looked very nice! 

 

**[Hajime]:** And Tendou dragged me out with him and Ushijima 

 

**[Hajime]:** Ushijima apparently doesn't drink. 

 

**[Hajime]:** I'm sorry, Hiro, for the photos. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** ///::: u owe me 

 

**[Tooru]:** make him do naughty things 

 

**[Issei]:** on camera 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I was just gonna make him send a naked photo of himself 

 

**[Tooru]:** who knew u were into sexting

 

**[Issei]:** says the one who jerked off to that photo 

 

**[Tooru]:** u got me there 

 

**[Hajime]:** _ {one image attached} _

 

**[Tooru]:** I 

 

**[Issei]:** holy shit 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I DIDNT THINK YOUD ACTUALLY DO IT

 

**[Takahiro]:** FUCK 

 

**[Hajime]:** Well I want you to forgive me?

 

**[Takahiro]:** ALL IS FORGIVEN 

 

**[Issei]:** #blessed 

 

**[Tooru]:** rlly fucking blessed 

 

* * *

 

**[Issei]:** Sleep, a refuge from the misery and hopelessness that is life

 

**[Issei]:** Good time for random dreams too

 

**[Tooru]:** wow u write wrll

 

**[Issei]:** I study writing, if I dont write well tht would be a problem

 

**[Tooru]:** true

 

**[Takahiro]:** thats nice

 

**[Takahiro]:** I tot hajimes the one who reminds us tho

 

**[Takahiro]:** babe jow cld u betray me like this

 

**[Issei]:** I'm sorry sugar plum :(

 

**[Issei]:** but im rlly fking tired

 

**[Issei]:** and i needed to say goodnight before I went to sleep

 

**[Takahiro]:** whos gonna stay up with me now :(

 

**[Hajime]:** Goodnight Issei

 

**[Hajime]:** Rest well

 

**[Issei]:** gdnite

 

**[Takahiro]:** rest well

 

**[Tooru]:** goodnight!

 

**[Takahiro]:** Tooru pls stay w me

 

**[Tooru]:** okay :D

 

**[Hajime]:** Both of you go to sleep

 

**[Issei]:** yes pls sleep

 

**[Issei]:** I am on the edge of my sanity here n i dnt want to blow up at u guys

 

**[Issei]:** but

 

**[Issei]:** im gonna turn off my phone if it buzzes  _ one more time _ i swear

 

**[Tooru]:** :O

 

**[Takahiro]:** :0 

 

**[Hajime]:** Go to bed

 

**[Issei]:** I M TRYINV

 

**[Takahiro]:** okok well be quiet nivhg bye

 

**[Issei]:** bye

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** As time inexplicably marches on, sleep offers but one reprieve. A random ass time machine.

 

**[Tooru]:** wow

 

**[Issei]:** u get better and better everyday

 

**[Takahiro]:** I like how he kind of died at the end

 

**[Takahiro]:** it was poetic n then he gave up

 

**[Issei]:** ikr

 

**[Hajime]:** I was out of ideas, sorry

 

**[Tooru]:** no no its all good!!!

 

**[Issei]:** ye you write bwttwr than me I'm jealous

 

**[Hajime]:** No I don't?

 

**[Issei]:** u do

 

**[Issei]:** w more practice you'd be a great writer

 

**[Takahiro]:** I agree

 

**[Tooru]:** yes totally

 

**[Hajime]:** Uh, thanks, I guess

 

**[Hajime]:** So anyway how have you guys been?

 

**[Issei]:** don't change the topic damnit

 

**[Tooru]:** im so tired all the time

 

**[Tooru]:** vball is brutal but I love it

 

**[Takahiro]:** ive gor this painting thats 30% of my grade an I'm almost done

 

**[Takahiro]:** I actually like hos kg loogs

 

**[Takahiro]:** how it looks

 

**[Hajime]:** In that case, please rest more Tooru

 

**[Hajime]:** And drink more water

 

**[Issei]:** I have zero inspiration and our dorm is a mess

 

**[Hajime]:** Takahiro, can we see it?

 

**[Hajime]:** Issei, maybe you can go on a walk to get inspiration?

 

**[Takahiro]:** I didnt take a photo of it

 

**[Takahiro]:** but sure ok

 

**[Tooru]:** I need more sleep HAHAHAHAHA

 

**[Tooru]:** hajime pls send earlier reminders n nag until I sleep

 

**[Issei]:** I tried it didn't help

 

**[Issei]:** all my works r angry because im so sleep deproved

 

**[Issei]:** I hate college

 

**[Takahiro]:** dyou want to hear sth funny to cheer you up

 

**[Issei]:** yes

 

**[Issei]:** but if its about bo pls no

 

**[Issei]:** him and kuroo are 90% the reason I want to die a lof

 

**[Issei]:** kuroos a good guy but he's also an asshole an an idiot when he's with bo

 

**[Issei]:** it's like they both regressed to amoebas

 

**[Issei]:** I think I neeed sleeep

 

**[Issei]:** I'm being mean

 

**[Tooru]:** please sleep

 

**[Hajime]:** Goodnight, rest well

 

**[Hajime]:** We can talk tomorrow

 

**[Takahiro]:** yea just cos j don't sleep doesnt mean u cant

 

**[Takahiro]:** goodnight love  <3

 

**[Issei]:** goodnight  <3

 

**[Tooru]:** goodnight!!!!!!!!!

 

**[Hajime]:** So

 

**[Hajime]:** Takahiro what was that about you not sleeping

 

**[Takahiro]** : o shit

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** Sleep is great 

 

**[Hajime]:** So go to sleep. 

 

**[Issei]:** I feel like u didnt try this time 

 

**[Hajime]:** I am so tired, please. 

 

**[Tooru]:** college sucks 

 

**[Hajime]:** Go to sleep, guys. 

 

**[Issei]:** is Hiro actually asleei ale

 

**[Takahiro]:** nah 

 

**[Takahiro]:** jus thinking 

 

**[Tooru]:** bout what?

 

**[Takahiro]:** not important 

 

**[Hajime]:** Go to sleep. 

 

**[Issei]:** I'm turning my phone off night

 

**[Hajime]:** Same, goodnight. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** love you guys

 

**[Tooru]:** night

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** Sleep. 

 

**[Issei]:** k already on my way

 

**[Tooru]:** same 

 

**[Takahiro]:** we never talk anymore 

 

**[Hajime]:** Night, everyone. 

 

**[Hajime]:** Wait what? 

 

**[Takahiro]:** nvm night 

 

**[Issei]:** We’re tlking rn? 

 

**[Takahiro]:** we talk

 

**[Takahiro]:** at night

 

**[Takahiro]:** right before bed

 

**[Takahiro]:** thts it 

 

**[Tooru]:** fuck ur right 

 

**[Issei]:** damn

 

**[Hajime]:** We are all just tired, exams are coming up. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** Ik I'm just sad we don't talk as much

 

**[Takahiro]:** srry 

 

**[Issei]:** don't be

 

**[Tooru]:** after exams we will have another Skype cll 

 

**[Hajime]:** Alright, it's a plan. 

 

**[Hajime]:** now goodnight 

 

* * *

 

**[Tooru]:** night guys

 

**[Issei]:** im actually bout to shower

 

**[Issei]:** but ok night 

 

**[Hajime]:** Don’t slip. 

 

**[Tooru]:** WHY WOULD U SAY THT NOW I CNT SLEP 

 

**[Issei]:** dnt worry i wont slip lol 

 

**[Hajime]:** Message us if you survive. 

 

**[Tooru]:** hajime y 

 

**[Issei]:** ok brb 

 

**[Tooru]:** now im scared afain 

 

**[Hajime]:** He’ll be alright. 

 

**[Tooru]:** lucky hiro isnt here 

 

**[Tooru]:** he doesnt have to worry like this >:(

 

**[Hajime]:** Where  _ is  _ Hiro? 

 

**[Hajime]:** It’s hard to believe he’s actually sleeping right now. 

 

**[Tooru]:** waht if he slipped in the shower and hes dead and we wouldnt even kno 

 

**[Hajime]:** Don’t overreact 

 

**[Tooru]:** then where is he???

 

**[Tooru]:** hmmmmmm?????????

 

**[Takahiro]:** Makki needs to learn to put his phone on silent 

 

**[Hajime]:** Bokuto?

 

**[Takahiro]:** YuP

 

**[Tooru]:** wheres hiro 

 

**[Tooru]:** is he ded 

 

**[Takahiro]:** lol no he passed out 

 

**[Hajime]:** What? Is he okay?

 

**[Takahiro]:** ye he just hasn’t been sleeping 

 

**[Issei]:** why hasn’t he?

 

**[Issei]:** oh and i survived lol 

 

**[Tooru]:** OH THANK GOD 

 

**[Hajime]:** I’m glad you survived 

 

**[Issei]:** thx 

 

**[Takahiro]:** he’s been working a lot 

 

**[Takahiro]:** taking extra shirts n stuff 

 

**[Takahiro]:** then he comes home and draws or works on school stuff 

 

**[Tooru]:** y???

 

**[Takahiro]:** well i gtg im beat 

 

**[Hajime]:** huh? You’re not going to tell us?

 

**[Issei]:** damn im curious now 

 

**[Tooru]:** well now tht issei is safe im crashing 

 

**[Tooru]:** night<3

 

**[Hajime]:** Sleep well

 

**[Issei]:** Sweet dreams 

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** Get a good night’s sleep. 

 

**[Tooru]:** yes sir

 

**[Issei]:** alright 

 

**[Takahiro]:** sure

 

**[Hajime]:** Oh, Hiro, I haven’t talked to you in a while. Are you okay?

 

**[Takahiro]:** yeah imsorry!!

 

**[Takahiro]:** ive been working extra

 

**[Issei]:** why have you??

 

**[Takahiro]:** other students need to study for finals so i volunteered to take their shifts

 

**[Tooru]:** tht was nice of u 

 

**[Tooru]:** but u need sleep too 

 

**[Takahiro]:** ik i do 

 

**[Takahiro]:** but ill sleep after finals are over 

 

**[Hajime]:** Do your finals end when ours end?

 

**[Takahiro]:** yeah they start in two weeks and end after a week

 

**[Issei]:** alright well until tht week is over 

 

**[Issei]:** im gonna continue being grumpy 

 

**[Takahiro]:** grumpy teddy bear (✿ ♥‿♥)

 

**[Issei]:** pls no 

 

**[Hajime]:** Okay, for real, good night 

 

**[Tooru]:** night night !

 

* * *

 

Hanamaki shoves clothes into his bag, a spark of excitement running through his veins. He tugs the hoodie he got from Matsukawa over his head, smiling as the warmth instantly seeps into his bones. He didn’t tell them the  _ real  _ reason for taking all those shifts. 

 

(He spent  _ hours  _ upon ruthless hours, working and working and  _ working.  _ Just so he could get money.)

 

He wanted it to be a surprise, so of course he didn’t say why. He’s going to visit them. 

 

(He’s going to  _ see  _ them. He hasn’t seen them since they separated at the train station to go their own ways to different universities. He’s going to be able to  _ hug  _ them and  _ hold their hands  _ and just  _ be  _ with them. He’s  _ finally  _ going to be with them.)

 

His plan is foolproof. He decided to go on a Saturday, because that’s one of the lazier days. He’d drag them out of their dorms, steal them away from their studies, because they all need a break. They’ll walk around and do whatever the fuck they want, he doesn’t care. He just wants to see them. 

 

Grabbing three separate items, Hanamaki slips them into his bag. He worked so much that he was able to pick up something for each of them.He grabs the notes he wrote as well, placing them on top of the items. With a satisfied hum, he zips up his bag. 

 

“Makkkkkkiiiii!” Bokuto calls, throwing his door open. “Am I going to have to take care of Ochinko while you’re away?”

 

Hanamaki stands up, tossing his bag over his shoulder. “Nah, I’m letting him go today.”

 

Bokuto’s face instantly falls, his eyes growing wide. “But if he wanted to leave he would’ve by now!” 

 

“I know, but he needs a little push.” Hanamaki says, turning to the bird resting on his pillow. He gently scoops the small animal into his hands, smiling down at it. 

 

“Can I say goodbye?” Bokuto asks, eyes watering as Hanamaki hands the bird over. Bokuto quickly bursts into tears, running a finger through the silky feathers. “I’m going to miss you, Chinchin!” he cries, cradling the bird in his palms. 

 

After about five minutes, Bokuto reluctantly hands the bird back. “Have fun on your trip, tell me all about it when you get back!” He says in a watery voice, offering up a wobbly smile. 

 

Hanamaki chuckles, placing Ochinko on his shoulder. He then pats Bokuto’s back, nodding his head. “I will, thanks.”

 

~~~~~

 

Hanamaki stands in front of the train station, looking out at the sky. If he’s being honest, he doesn’t want Ochinko to go. He loves that bird like it’s his son. 

 

(He has an unusual bond with the animal. He’s not sure  _ why  _ the wild animal has stayed so long...but it seems to like him.)

 

“I hope you find another bird to care for you. I wish you luck,” Hanamaki says, voice breaking towards the end. He hates goodbyes. 

 

Ochinko chirps from his place on Hanamaki’s shoulder, claws digging into the fabric of his shirt. With a small peep, Hanamaki feels something rub against his chin. He looks down, smiling as Chinchin pecks at his cheek, as if to say ‘good luck’ back. 

 

“You’re always welcome to visit,” Hanamaki mumbles. Ochinko ruffles his feathers, bobbing his head. “I’ll take that as a ‘see you later.’”

 

Ochinko chirps one last time before spreading his wings, launching himself off of Hanamaki’s shoulder. He’s like a bullet, flying swiftly into the sky. He watches the bird get further and further until he’s just a speck in the cloudless sky, disappearing into the distance. 

 

With a small sigh, Hanamaki turns on his heel and enters the train station. 

 

~~~~~

 

Stumbling off the train, overnight bag in hand, Hanamaki sighs. Miyagi is the same as it’s always been, exactly as he remembers. He swiftly makes his way through the busy crowds, pulling out his phone. 

 

He decided to go to Miyagi, then Tokyo. Miyagi isn’t closer by any means, but he felt that going in a circle would be better. Kyoto, to Miyagi, to Tokyo, then back to Kyoto when he heads back. He’d grab Iwaizumi, force him to take a break from his studies, then drag him on the train to Tokyo. A foolproof plan, really, because who would say no to de-stressing? 

 

Placing the phone to his ear, he narrowly dodges a stray little girl running right into his path. He hears her mother scolding her, but promptly tunes out everything as the person he's calling answers their phone. 

 

_ “Hello? Hanamaki-san?”  _

 

Hanamaki beams, stepping out of the train station. “Ah, Ushijima-kun! So, where are you right now?”

 

_ “Well, I don’t see how this is your business, but I am in my dorm room. I am getting ready to go out with Satori, who should be here in five minutes.” _

 

Hanamaki grins, vibrating with excitement at his stroke of luck. “Well!” he sing-songs, “I am actually in town -- don’t tell Hajime, it’s a surprise -- and I’m wondering if you could leave your door unlocked when you leave?”

 

A loud noise on the other end has him pausing midstep, furrowing his eyebrows together in confusion (and concern).

 

_ “Sorry about that, Hanamaki-san. Satori is early.” _

 

“Oh, it’s fine, don’t sweat it. So can you do it?”

 

_ “Yes, I can. Don’t tell Iwaizumi, and leave the door open. Got it.” _

 

“Thanks, Ushijima! I owe you one!”

 

_ “It is no problem, I am always happy to help. Now, I must go, Satori is whining.” _

 

The line cuts off before he can say goodbye.  A small chuckle escapes his lips as he shakes his head, quickening his pace. The directions on his phone inform him that the school is a ten minute walk from the train station, and he’s already been walking for five--

 

Maybe he’ll run into Ushijima and Tendou? Get to say hi? That’d be nice.  

 

Luck is again on his side as he turns the corner. Ushijima and Tendou exit the building right as he begins to enter, both parties freezing in their movements. 

 

“Hanamaki?!” Tendou says, shocked. He instantly hops forward, pulling Hanamaki into a bone crushing hug. “I didn’t know you were coming! This is great, I finally get to see you in person! And good thing you showed up, too! I’m positive Iwaizumi-kun hasn’t been sleepi-”

 

“I can’t breathe,” Hanamaki wheezes, cutting him off. Tendou squeaks in surprise, stepping back. 

 

“Sorry, sorry! But it really is good to see you.” 

 

“It’s good to see you, too. You as well, Ushijima.”

 

Ushijima nods as a hello. “Iwaizumi will be happy you’re here. Satori is right, he hasn’t been sleeping since he’s been busy studying.”

 

Hanamaki smiles at them. “That’s why I’m here, to drag him away from his studies!” 

 

“Well good luck, man!” Tendou violently pats his back as good luck. They then quickly say their goodbyes before heading in opposite directions.

 

As he begins walking up the stairs to the third floor, the reality of the situation presses down on his shoulders. He hasn’t seen Iwaizumi in  _ so long _ . It hits him how much he’s missed seeing him. Missed  _ being  _ with him. 

 

This is actually happening. Instantly, he feels butterflies swarming in his stomach. How will Iwaizumi react? Will he be mad that he didn’t say anything? Will he be too tired to go anywhere? What if he doesn’t want to make the train trip to Tokyo? 

 

Shaking his head, Hanamaki stops in front of his door. If Iwaizumi is too tired, then Hanamaki will force him to sleep. They can always take the train tomorrow and spend a day up here. He doesn’t mind waiting. 

 

With shaking hands, Hanamaki nervously grabs the cold doorknob, twisting it. (He’ll have to thank Ushijima again for leaving the door unlocked). Pushing the door open, he slowly steps into the room, eyes scanning the place. 

 

It’s a nice dorm. It’s standard; with a small living room, a kitchen, two rooms, a shared restroom. It's also unusually clean, but he shouldn’t be surprised. Ushijima and Iwaizumi live here, so of course it’s squeaky clean. 

 

Peeling off his shoes, Hanamaki grips the strap of his bag. 

 

_ Here goes nothing.  _

 

“Hajime?” He calls out, holding his breath. 

 

Nothing. 

 

Stepping into the house, he ventures down the hallway. Ushijima’s room is probably the one off to the left, so Iwaizumi’s has to be on the right. Or maybe he has the one off to the left? Well, only one way to find out. 

 

Stepping up to the room on the right, he quietly opens the door. 

 

There, sitting at the desk near the window, is Iwaizumi. Hanamaki instantly feels his heart skip a beat. He takes a moment to just stare at his boyfriend, taking in the eyelashes brushing his cheeks when he blinks. The slight frown on his lips as his eyes scan the textbook in front of him. Those  _ beautiful  _ eyes focused on the text. His hand moving as he jots down notes. The small humming noise coming from his lips--

 

_ His voice.  _

 

_ In person.  _

 

Hanamaki really feels like crying. 

 

“H-Hajime,” he chokes out, not even caring that his voice breaks. He could sob right now and he wouldn’t care that he looks pathetic. 

 

The man at the desk doesn’t answer. And, well, okay, he does look a bit too focused. 

 

(Really, the bags under his eyes, his stiff posture. It’s obvious he could use a break.)

 

Fully walking into the room, Hanamaki takes another moment to study the place where Iwaizumi lives. He smiles fondly at the Godzilla poster over his bed. He shuffles forward, looking down at the picture frame of the four of them at graduation sitting by his bed. 

 

_ What a sap.  _

 

Turning back to Iwaizumi, he watches as he leans back in his chair, eyes closing as he sighs deeply. Now would be the perfect time to announce his presence. 

 

“Hajime,” he says a bit louder, smiling as Iwaizumi stiffens up. 

 

He watches as Iwaizumi grits his teeth, slowly turning around. His eyes grow wide as they fall on Hanamaki standing by his bed. 

 

“Wha...what the  _ fuck?”  _

 

(Hanamaki really has missed his voice.)

 

“I don’t have time for this,” Iwaizumi grumbles, turning back to his textbook. He rubs his eyes, quickly going back to reading. 

 

What?

 

“Hajime? I understand if you want to finish studying, but a hi would be ni--”

 

“Can you shut up?” Iwaizumi hisses, dropping his pencil. He leans forward in his seat, fingers digging into his hair. “I don’t need this right now.”

 

Hanamaki sucks in a startled breath, taking a step back. “Wh- What? Hajime?”

 

“Please, stop,” Iwaizumi whispers, voice breaking. 

 

Hanamaki isn’t sure what he did, but he swallows past the lump in his throat, retreating towards the door. “Alright, um, I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

 

He closes the door behind him, walking back towards the kitchen. Maybe he should stay until he finishes the section he’s on? Should he wait for Ushijima to get back? 

 

Shaking his head, Hanamaki digs into the overnight bag he brought. He carefully pulls out one of the three items, placing it on the counter. The note is next, placed on top of the gift. 

 

Well, Iwaizumi is busy. That’s okay. That’s understandable. Oikawa and Matsukawa will want to see him, right? 

 

So with that in mind, he throws one last look at the new Godzilla DVD he got for Iwaizumi, a sad smile on his lips. The note is just a simple message, but hopefully Iwaizumi will recognize his handwriting. 

 

“ _ Since Ushijima never replaced yours, here you go! I missed you! Love you<3” _

 

Turning on his heel, Hanamaki stomps out of the dorm. 

 

(It’s not like he wanted at least a hug or something. He’d even take a handshake.)

 

(But he understands.)

 

(Of course he understands.)

 

~~~~~

 

It's another two hours on the train to Tokyo, and Hanamaki frets all the while that he would be unwelcome there. He had planned to nap on the train (goodness knows he never has enough sleep), but the soup of anxiety and nervousness in his stomach prevents him from doing so. All he manages is a fitful doze, and he is irritated and frazzled by the time he reaches his stop.

 

Oikawa's dorm is closer to the station, so he heads there first, looking up at the green of the trees to calm down. The sunlight filtering through the leaves seems to mock him for being worried, the rays of light creating a pretty pattern on the ground. Hanamaki sighs and breathes deeply, exhaling his panic. Above his head, a couple of birds twitter, and he smiles, inexplicably reminded of Ochinko. 

 

(He wonders how his little friend is doing. It’s only been a couple of hours, but he hopes he has found some friends, or even better, a  _ mate. _ )

 

(He remembers his beady eyes, small and bright and hopeful, and his cheerful chirps as he brings him his food and water.)

 

(If a bird can do it, he can too.)

 

Hanamaki takes a slow, cleansing breath.

 

It’s okay, he’s okay. 

 

Oikawa has always been the most loving and welcoming of them, even if he did get self-destructive at times. Which was precisely why he came to visit -- to drag him out of his self-imposed torture for a well-earned break.  

 

The thought of seeing Oikawa again -- his warm brown eyes and head of chocolate hair, his sweet, sweet smile and his porcelain features -- builds up the nervous excitement in his heart, and he widens his stride, determined to get to his dorm as soon as possible.

 

Hanamaki keeps his head down, focused on the open map on his phone that directs him to Oikawa’s accommodation. He’s almost there, almost there -- almost to seeing Oikawa, whom he hasn’t seen in the longest time. His footsteps pick up, a thrill going through him. It’s only a couple hundred more metres, he should be reaching soon--

 

He bumps into someone, their shoulders banging together so hard that he gets thrown back a little. He looks up, ready to swear at the person--

 

And the words die on his lips.

 

“Tooru?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Nervous laughter* Sorry?
> 
> Safyre's Tumblr: [Sapphyrelily](sapphyrelily.tumblr.com)
> 
> Jamie's Tumblr: [Seijouho](seijouho.tumblr.com)


	6. Unseen, Unheard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for Suffering part 2? >:)

Oikawa is carrying what seems like _hundreds_ of bags, stuffed full of groceries and what seems to be laundry. The rings under his eyes are so black he could probably draw on them with white pen and create a galaxy.

 

(Wait, that’s not the point.)

 

(He is here, he is _here,_ and it is a perfect time to shout “Surprise!”)

 

But before he can say anything, Oikawa squints at him and scoffs, already making a move to walk away.

 

Hanamaki panics.

 

“Wait, wait, Tooru--” He reaches out, his hand only barely grazing his sleeve, but Oikawa jumps back with a shriek, some of the many bags falling to the ground and spilling their contents everywhere.

 

“LEAVE ME ALONE!”

 

Several pedestrians turn to glance curiously at them, and Hanamaki flushes red. “I’m- Sorry, Tooru, just let me help you pick those up--” He bends down and grabs the handle of a bag, lifting it and reaching for Oikawa’s hand, but the brunette jerks away, his eyes wide and terrified, his mouth open in a scream.

 

“ _Don’t touch me._ ”

 

His voice is low, dangerous, edged with panic and terror. Hanamaki can see his blown-black pupils, eyes scrunched in anger, his posture tense and in a half-defensive, half-offensive crouch.

 

“Enough. I’ve had enough. Get lost, and leave me the hell alone.”

 

People are approaching them now, curious onlookers with a hint of aggression in their posture, ready to defend the hapless, overworked college boy from the random punk with pink hair. Hanamaki eyes them nervously, heart crashing painfully against his ribs, and speaks one more time, his words fluttering quickly, fast flurries that he hopes his boyfriend will understand. “Tooru, Tooru, please, it’s Takahiro. I get it if you want me to leave but let me help you carry these--”

 

Oikawa backs away from him with a snarl, fury marring his features. “Get lost, and stop harassing me! I swear I’ll call the cops so help me--”

 

The pedestrians are almost to him, their hands reaching out, ready to grab the perpetrator, ready to beat him up and send him to an early grave. Hanamaki chokes back a sob, coughing out an apology and dropping the bag before he _bolts_ , turning tail and dashing back in the direction he came from.

 

A film of tears hinders his vision and he scrubs viciously at his eyes.

 

Why? What has he done that Oikawa would look upon him with such unadulterated loathing and demand that he leave? He hasn’t seen him in nearly half a year, but surely he still remembered who he was?

 

What if he has forgotten?

 

He almost bumps into someone else and utters a quick ‘Sorry’ as he runs past, trying to get as far away as possible. But an arm shoots out and grabs him and he shrieks a little, shaking his arm to get the person _off of him_ \--

 

“Whoa, whoa, hey!”

 

He knows that light, tinkling voice, that soothing tone, that _refreshing_ laugh--

 

“Suga?” Hanamaki stops struggling and lifts his head, breathing heavily. Kind brown eyes underlined with dark bags gaze back at him, and he drops his gaze to see that Karasuno’s old setter is _smiling_ at him.

 

(What? How? Why? Why is Suga smiling at him? It should be Oikawa, should be his boyfriend smiling at him, overjoyed to see him, spirits lifted after so much time spent apart--)

 

_Stop, stop, don’t think about that._

 

He plasters on a smile, finally registering what he is saying.

 

“--Tooru would be so glad to see you! Why don’t you come back with me, then you can take him out of the dorm so I can clean up his stupid messes in peace--”

 

Hanamaki hurriedly cuts him off, a black cloud of horror descending over him at the thought of seeing Oikawa again, with his face pulled into that expression of hate. He pulls out a small package and the note he had attached to it on the train ride over, shoving it into Suga's hands. “No, it’s okay. I’ve got somewhere to be, could you pass this to him for me, please?”

 

Suga frowns, his gaze rooting Hanamaki in place. “Are you sure you can’t come see him? He would love to see you, he keeps complaining about never having time to meet you guys--”

 

**_Leave me the hell alone._ **

 

Hanamaki shakes his head vigorously, pushing away the untimely reminder, mustering a weak smile for the friend of a friend that he wouldn’t like to trouble further. “No, no, that’s alright. I’m sure he’s busy studying. You guys have tests, right? I won’t keep you any longer, I’ll be going now! Good luck!”

 

He turns tail and runs, runs for his life, runs so fast that he misses the shout that Suga sends after him, misses his worried and perplexed look.

 

Oikawa doesn’t want to talk to him -- that’s fine, that’s okay. He saw how frazzled he was, how burnt out and overworked he must be. He could be struggling, he could be hallucinating with tiredness.

 

(But his eyes, his straightforward anger, his direct insult, his cold-hearted words that cut to the bone.)

 

(He hates him, he hates him, that’s the only explanation, that’s the only reason that _works_.)

 

(What has he done?)

 

_I don’t understand._

 

Hanamaki chokes, a sob and a few tears escaping despite his best efforts.

 

He has one last stop. One last place to visit, one last person who won’t hurt him -- this he knows for sure.

 

(Or does he?)

 

* * *

 

It takes another hour on the bus before he reaches Matsukawa’s university, and he is nearly dead inside by the time he arrives. As he steps off the bus, he lifts the hood of the hoodie over his head, burrowing into its fleecy warmth and breathing in the extremely faded scent that screams _Issei_.

 

It’s okay, he’s okay.

 

Matsukawa is the one he has known the longest, the one least likely to turn him away, the one who will recognise him off the bat. He will gape at first, slowly realising that it is him, then he will scoop him up and spin him around like the sap that he is, and they will spend the rest of the afternoon together, away from books and studying.

 

The dormitories are mostly silent, with random students dotting the hallways, papers and books sprawled all over, whispering feverishly to themselves. Hanamaki sidesteps them, heading towards Matsukawa’s unit without hesitation.

 

When he finds it, he smiles at the hanging whiteboard that screams for privacy, with a little cat mascot drawn on it. He raises his hand to knock, but before he can, the door swings inwards, and Matsukawa steps out.

 

Hanamaki’s breath catches in his throat. He is as handsome as he remembers, though he has the same dark eyebags that decorate Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s faces. He clears his throat, and the sound catches Matsukawa’s attention.

 

Their eyes meet for half a heartbeat, and Hanamaki opens his mouth, a greeting on the tip of his tongue--

 

Matsukawa’s eyes slide away, and the door falls shut behind him. He brushes past Hanamaki, his tired footsteps trudging towards the stairs.

 

Hanamaki can’t help it; he gapes. Stares in open-mouthed horror at Matsukawa’s retreating back, his vocal chords frozen, unable to call after him, unable to shout and demand for him to _look, hey, it’s me, it’s me, don’t you see me, I am_ **here**.

 

It’s like time has frozen. He is in an isolated bubble, reaching out blindly but unable to find the _tick tick tick_ that shows that he is still living, that the world is still spinning on around him.

 

Inside him, inside the hollow that is his chest, his already fractured heart splinters.

 

Hanamaki stumbles; his hand reaches out to grab on to something, something to steady him, lest he truly fall. His fingers slide on a cool doorknob, twisting it in his rush to find purchase.

 

The door falls open, and he crashes onto the floor inside Matsukawa’s dorm.

 

Hanamaki raises his head, only to be transfixed by the avalanche of books and clothes and random articles strewn all about the room. It’s more than a mess -- it looks like a tornado has ransacked the dorm, it looks like a garbage heap, it looks _uninhabitable_.

 

No wonder Matsukawa is always complaining about how messy his dorm is.

 

Hanamaki stands up and dusts himself off, removing his shoes and stepping into the wasteland. He sets his bag down and reaches up to brush the hood off his face so he can see better.

 

_Oh._

 

The hood was covering his face. No wonder Matsukawa didn’t recognise him.

 

A tendril of hope unfurls in his heart, and he lets himself smile.

 

He’ll help clean up the devastation that is the dorm, and maybe Matsukawa will be surprised and will recognise him properly when he gets back.

 

It is a heartening thought, so he rolls up his sleeves and gets to work.

 

~~~~~

 

It takes him nearly two hours to pick up the rubbish, sort out the laundry and neaten up the piles of study material. He sets the third bag of rubbish by the door and goes to wash his hands, sweating inside the hoodie from the exertion.

 

After doing so, he goes to his bag and pulls out Matsukawa’s gift, setting the little pot on the kitchen table with the note under it. He places his hands on his hips, surveying his work proudly, his thrumming heartbeat the largest sign of his hard work.

 

Without the mess, he can clearly see the door that leads to Matsukawa’s room, plastered with large kanji that spells his name, and with other pieces of paper stuck on it. Curious, he steps up to it, and realises they are little haikus and other poems written about him and Iwaizumi and Oikawa.

 

All the poems are dated, and he leans closer to peer at them, noting how they were written almost six months ago. He searches for more recent dates, and there are a few, but none of them are written for _him_. There are two written for Iwaizumi, dated four months past, and five for Oikawa, two months past.

 

He searches frantically for his name, only to find a tiny little haiku, dated just two weeks prior:

 

_So long ago when_

_I last saw, do I still love_

_You, or no longer?_

 

Hanamaki feels like he’s been punched in the chest.

 

He scrabbles away from the door, socked feet sliding, slipping, until he crashes into the back of the couch. The action makes his head fall to his chest, and he sucks in a shocked breath, laced with the faintest trace of Matsukawa’s scent.

 

It’s suddenly too hot, and he strips the hoodie off, carelessly tossing it onto the couch. He bends down and cradles his head in his hands, breaths sharp and shallow, heart thumping heavily, denial pumping through his veins.

 

(No no no, it can’t be true, it can’t--)

 

(But what else could it mean?)

 

(He doesn’t love him anymore, he doesn’t love him anymore--)

 

(No, no, not him, not _Issei_ , not his best friend, his anchor, his comfort and his first love--)

 

(But it _is_ true, the evidence is _right there_ \--)

 

(No. No. No no no no _no_ \--)

 

“Hey!”

 

A large hand grabs him by the arm and hauls him upright, dark gold cat eyes under a fringe of messy hair glaring down at him.

 

“Who are you, and how did you get in?”

 

Hanamaki gulps, freezing up at the danger rolling off the guy. He can’t remember his own name, he’s so terrified, and this- This guy, he’s taller and stronger and _he looks like he could kill him_ \--

 

“Oi!” Messy hair shakes him viciously, then pushes -- no, _throws_ \-- him towards the door, and Hanamaki falls on his butt, the impact jarring his tailbone. His breathing is shallow and rushed as he tries to scramble away as fast as he can.

 

(His name, his name, he _knows_ this guy’s name, what is it, what is it--)

 

(Black hair, sticking up from the back of his head, folded down across one eye--)

 

(That’s it, that’s his name--)

 

“K-Kuroo, wait--”

 

“Oh, so you know my name and you still _break in?”_ Kuroo grabs him by the throat, lifts him up and slams him into the wall. “How _dare_ you, you little shit, what have you stolen, huh? I’ve had enough of you and your stupid friends who think it’s  _so funny_ to break in and look for weed in a college dorm _just because_ we look like the type to do drugs.”

 

He lets Hanamaki go, picks his bag off the floor and shoves it into his arms, then grabs him by the ear and drags him to the front door, throwing it open and pushing him out.

 

“I am a _very_ kind man, so I’m letting you go now, but if you _ever_ come back, I will call the cops on your pathetic skinny ass.”

 

The door slams in his face, and Hanamaki stares for a second before he drops to his knees. The reality of the whole situation crashes down on him, a tidal wave of emotion sweeping him away, leaving him shivering and quaking.

 

It's all he can do to stuff a fist into his mouth before he breaks down, biting down on skin and bone to muffle his terrified, anguished sobs.

 

* * *

 

Bokuto bounds up to him the moment he hears the door slam shut, eyes shining, smile splitting his face.

 

“Makki! You’re back early! How’d it go, c’mon tell me! Were they surprised? Were they happy to see you? Were they--”

 

“No.”

 

Bokuto pauses his rambling, cocking his head to the side curiously. “Huh?”

 

Hanamaki finally reaches the couch and tries to sit on it, but misses, falling to the floor and hitting his knees on the coffee table. Bokuto yelps because _goddamn that hurts_ but Hanamaki says nothing, does nothing, doesn’t even scream though it must hurt--

 

“They didn’t see me.”

 

Hanamaki finally lifts his head, and Bokuto sees his red, swollen eyes, his splotchy face, his dead, empty look.

 

“I went, and none of them saw me.

 

“It was as if I wasn’t even there.”

 

* * *

 

Iwaizumi pushes away from his desk, stretching languidly. The sky is about to turn dark, the orange sunset bleeding out and fading into purple and dark blue. He smiles at the serenity of it, at the beauty that passed by so fast. He’s suddenly reminded of Hanamaki and that sunrise piece he said he would do for his class, and wonders if he should make an effort to message the group a little earlier to chat.

 

He leaves his room for a glass of water, pausing when he sees something on the kitchen table. Strange, he doesn’t remember leaving anything behind, and Ushijima is usually extremely meticulous--

 

He gasps when he sees the DVD, clutching at it reverently, fingering the smooth casing, still new and wrapped in plastic. If someone could see him now, they would say that his eyes sparkled, his dark mood over studying lifted, as if the sun had finally come out to shine through the clouds.

 

He finally puts the gift down and with a last, fond pat to the DVD case, he turns his attention to the note that had fluttered facedown on the table, picking it up and reading it. His eyebrows furrow at the familiar handwriting, reading the warm words over and over again until it finally _clicks--_

 

**_Hajime?_ **

 

_Grey irises glinting with glee, a broad smile on his face. Pink hair shining in the sunlight, hands hanging loosely by his side, encased in a black hoodie with flower print that is too big for him. Hanamaki holds himself tense with anticipation, but all Iwaizumi feels is dread, the corporeal figure in front of him taunting, mocking, a mere memory of his perfect boyfriend, the one he hasn’t gotten to see for months._

 

What the fuck?

 

_The hallucination’s face falls, worry and anxiety warring on his face._

 

**_Hajime? I understand if you want to finish studying, but a hi would be ni--_ **

 

 _He feels his mouth open to scold the hallucination, to curse himself for being so_ weak _. This isn’t the first time, isn’t the first time he’d fallen asleep and dreamt of meeting Hanamaki again, only to wake up disappointed._

 

_He wants it to stop._

 

Can you shut up? I don’t need this right now.

 

_The figure looks shocked, then sad._

 

**_Wh- What? Hajime?_ **

 

_Why hasn’t it gone away yet?_

 

Please, stop.

 

_It steps back, gulping nervously, trying to keep its features calm. Strange, none of the other hallucinations had done this._

 

**_Alright, um, I’m sorry for disturbing you._ **

 

_Well, that was a polite hallucination. He turns back to his notes, easily sinking back into the sea of words._

 

Iwaizumi can’t breathe.

 

_No. It can’t be._

 

Hanamaki was here. He _had been_ right here, several hours ago, had come into his dorm room, come to see him, and he had told him to fuck off and leave.

 

What sort of an idiot is he?

 

A door slams behind him, and a gruff voice speaks in surprise.

 

“Iwaizumi? I thought Hanamaki came to visit. Why are you not with him?”

 

_It’s true._

 

Iwaizumi squeezes his eyes shut, crumpling the note in his fist, and turns to face his roommate.

 

(If Ushijima sees the distress on his face, he does not comment, and he is grateful for it.)

 

“I thought it was a dream, and I chased him away.”

 

* * *

 

Oikawa finally gets back to his dorm room and throws all the bags onto the floor, flinging himself onto the couch and groaning loudly. After two minutes, he decides he’d better be responsible and put away the frozen foods, and peels himself off the cushions to trudge to the kitchen.

 

The front door slams, and Suga’s cheerful voice floats to the kitchen. “Tooru! I just met Hanamaki, and he told me to give you something!”

 

Oikawa groans and stuffs a packet of peas into their freezer. “Suga-chan, please, _don’t_. I already had my Makki delusion of the day, I don’t need you to add on to it by lying to me.”

 

“Why would I lie to you?” Suga comes into the kitchen and drops a small package onto the table. Oikawa catches a glimpse of it and whips his head around to stare, slamming the freezer door shut before making a leap for it.

 

“Is it- Oh my god, it _is_ \--! Suga-chan, you’re the best, how did you know I’ve been looking for this?!” Oikawa clutches the alien-themed phone case in his hands, eyes sparkling. His roommate glares and huffs at him, his brown eyes unamused.

 

“I _told_ you, Hanamaki gave it to me! I met him like two blocks away from where you were doing the laundry, are you _sure_ you didn’t see him? And he looked so distraught too, like someone slapped him for no good reason!”

 

Oikawa narrows his eyes at Suga. “I saw my delusion when I was picking up the laundry. He looked like Makki but I’m sure it was just some other creep trying to hit on me as usual. It’s all good, I chased him away, and everyone else around helped me to pick up the stuff I dropped!”

 

The grey-haired boy’s eyes widen, and his jaw drops. “What was he wearing?”

 

Oikawa waves the question away, eying his new phone case fondly. “Some black hoodie with flowers on it. Didn’t bother noticing anything else.”

 

Suga snatches the phone case out of his hand and slams it on the table, then catches his hands and holds them captive, glaring at him as a warning about reaching for it again. “Oikawa Tooru,” he begins, his tone icy, “Remind me again, _which one_ of your boyfriends owns a black hoodie with flowers on it?”

 

Oikawa frowns and tries to pull away, but Suga’s grip is firm. “Makki, because Mattsun gave it to him, but I don’t see what that’s got to do with anythin--”

 

_Slap._

 

Oikawa’s head is thrown to the side with the force of the slap, and he slowly turns back to face Suga, his eyes blazing. “What,” he asks, “The _fuck_ was that for?”

 

Suga’s face is red, his fury rising up as a hot blush. “That,” he says, his voice shaking with barely controlled fury, “ _That_ was for Hanamaki. The boyfriend who you rejected and ostracised on the side of the road, with half the university there to see you. The boyfriend who obviously made the effort to come up to Tokyo on a _Saturday_ , when we are most free, so that he could spend time with your ungrateful self. The boyfriend who bought you the phone case you’ve been eying for _ages_ , but because you wouldn’t talk to him, he ran away and had to give it to _me_ instead!” Suga is shouting, his hands flapping and gesturing wildly, jabbing Oikawa in the chest as extensions of his rage as what he’s saying slowly, _slowly_ sinks in.

 

“Do you get it now, Tooru? Do you _understand_? You just chased away the very person you’ve been whining about not being able to see! Does that make it easier to understand, you useless airhead?!”

 

Oikawa stumbles back, grabbing the kitchen counter for support. He lifts his head after a long pause, raises his eyes to meet Suga’s, and the greyhead is slightly placated to see the haunted look in them.

 

“Suga-chan…? I just did a horrible thing, didn’t I?”

 

“Damn straight.” Suga folds his arms, a smug smile lifting his lips. “Now what are you gonna do about it?”

 

Oikawa sways a little before his eyes focus, his fingers tightening on the countertop. “I need to call him.”

 

“Good boy. Now move your ass, or you’ll never salvage your relationship.”

 

Oikawa bolts off to find his phone, and Suga follows.

 

Lying abandoned on the table is the phone case and the note, the ink slightly smudged from Suga’s sweaty grip.

 

_“I know it’s not much, but I hope you like it! I missed you, skirt buddy <3” _

 

* * *

 

Matsukawa strides through the front door, almost dropping his books at the sight of the three large garbage bags standing on the inside of it. The sight is so unusual that he actually wakes up a little, and he calls into the dorm, “Kuroo? You cleaned the place?”

 

“No?” Kuroo hollers back, and Matsukawa walks into the kitchen to see him prodding a tiny plant in a tiny pot, a ribbon and a note attached to it. “I thought you did it.”

 

“What? Of course I didn’t.” He places his books on the table, and sits across his roommate, smiling at the pot. “Cute plant, where’d you get it?”

 

“I thought _you_ got it. It was here when I woke up.”

 

“Huh? Then how’d it get here?”

 

A slim hand wriggles between them, snagging the plant away. Matsukawa glances over tiredly to see a blond head bent over the pot, hair curtaining their face.

 

Oh. Kenma must have followed him in, and he didn't even notice.

 

He really needs more sleep.

 

Kenma reads the note out loud, his voice quiet and monotonous. “‘You said you liked plants, so here’s one for you! Don’t let it die, OK? I missed you, sugar plum.’ There’s a heart emoticon too.”

 

The endearment shocks Matsukawa to seventy-five percent awakeness, and he grabs the plant from Kenma, eyes devouring the handwriting, the loops and curls and straight lines. He can hear Kuroo talking to Kenma even as he reads the note.

 

“Good thing you didn’t come earlier, kitten. Some asshole broke into the apartment just now, a pink-haired punk, slightly shorter than me.”

 

“What did you do to him?”

 

“Nothing!” Kuroo sounds scandalised, and Matsukawa feels dread building up in him even as he looks up to see Kenma’s unimpressed glower. “Nothing! Honestly, kitten, it was nothing lasting, I just threw him against the wall and strangled him a little, but the kid looked so scared that I just tossed his bag at him and threw him out of the apartment.”

 

Kenma sighs. “Kuroo, you can be scary, you know.”

 

“Well, yeah, but I was half-asleep, so I couldn’t have been _that_ harsh--”

 

“Kuroo.” Matsukawa’s voice is choked, and he has to put the plant down with how hard his hands are shaking. “What did the intruder look like?”

 

Kuroo pouts at him. “Bro, I just told you. Pink hair, slightly shorter than us, maybe 3cm? Small grey eyes, pale skin--”

 

_“Shit.”_

 

Kenma looks slightly worried at his outburst, which is saying something. “Issei? What’s wrong?”

 

Matsukawa can’t breathe, his breaths are short and shaky, and his hands are trembling. He has to take a few deep breaths before he can start, and he hates how choked up he sounds. “I- I think you threw out Takahiro.”

 

Kuroo looks confused, but Kenma’s eyes light up. “Hanamaki?”

 

Matsukawa nods helplessly as understanding lights in Kuroo’s eyes, right before they are taken over by horror.

 

“I thought I saw him this morning when I was going out. He was wearing my black hoodie, the one with the flowers, but the hood was up so I couldn’t see his face well. After I left I began to think it was him, but then I thought it was just a hallucination so I forgot about it.” God, he sounds so hopeless. He _is_ so hopeless. Hanamaki was _right there_ , and he had missed him--

 

“Issei, is that the hoodie?” His eyes follow Kenma’s gaze, and his breath catches in his throat when he sees it, the black jacket with the flowers, the one he hasn’t worn in over a year because he gave it to Hanamaki--

 

He runs, trips, stumbles over to the couch, grabbing the jacket and bringing it up to his face, inhaling deeply.

 

 _Takahiro_.

 

He was here, he was _definitely_ here, because he could never mistake that smell for anyone else--

 

Wait.

 

Why is the hoodie here?

 

Matsukawa spins to face Kuroo, his voice desperate, “Was he wearing the jacket when you saw him?”

 

Kuroo shakes his head. “I saw him taking off the jacket. He bumped against the couch, and it was so damn loud that I came out to see. He seemed to be running away from your room or something.”

 

“My room?” Matsukawa frowns and goes over to his door, appraising the poems he stuck to it. “But why would he do that?”

 

“Issei, did you forget to remove this?”

 

Kenma is curled at his feet, poking at a tiny scrap of paper, one of his more uninspired moments, a tiny thing he had written for no good reason, and that wasn’t true. He had stuck it to his door to fill up the space, with no regard to the words on it, but now, as he rereads the kanji, his throat closes up.

 

_“Fuck.”_

 

The hoodie in his hands is suddenly ten times heavier, but it can’t outweigh the guilt in his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Anyone who died of angst, please raise your hand.)
> 
> Safyre's Tumblr: [Sapphyrelily](sapphyrelily.tumblr.com)
> 
> Jamie's Tumblr: [Seijouho](seijouho.tumblr.com)


	7. Breaking Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things can only get worse and I am sorry

**[Hajime]:** Guys

 

**[Hajime]:** Guys I don't care about what you're doing right now, but I need you to pick up

 

**[Hajime]:** We're gonna do a conference call, or a Skype call, no video, we just need to talk to Takahiro

 

**[Tooru]:** I agree

 

**[Tooru]:** he came to visit me ans left me a gift n i didnt even kno, I thoght I was dreamknv

 

**[Tooru]:** tht was hours ago

 

**[Issei]:** u guys too?

 

**[Issei]:** I just found out, I have a gift too

 

**[Issei]:** has anyone tried to call him?

 

**[Hajime]:** So many times

 

**[Hajime]:** Ushijima told me to calm down like 50 times but I can't

 

**[Tooru]:** ive been trying forever too

 

**[Issei]:** hiro 

 

**[Issei]:** hiro please, ure still in the chat

 

**[Issei]:** babe please reply

 

**[Takahiro]:** Please stop spamming.

 

**[Takahiro]:** Hanamaki-san will talk to you later

 

**[Tooru]:** bokuto?

 

**[Takahiro]:** No, this is Akaashi

 

**[Takahiro]:** Bokuto-san is assisting Hanamaki-san to take a shower. He is extremely distraught.

 

**[Takahiro]:** When they are done, you have one call to rectify your mistakes. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** I will let you know, and Hanamaki-san will initiate the call.

 

**[Hajime]:** Agreed. Thank you, Akaashi-kun

 

**[Takahiro]:** You are lucky Hanamaki-san is such a forgiving person.

 

~~~~~

 

**[Takahiro]:** Hanamaki-san will speak to you all, on speaker, with Bokuto-san and I in the room. 

 

**[Issei]:** I'll take what I can get

 

**[Tooru]:** yeah same

 

**[Hajime]:** When can we speak to him?

 

**[Takahiro]:** He’s eating right now, so after that. 

 

**[Takahiro]:** Actually, he’s willing to talk now. 

 

Before any of them can reply, Akaashi hits the call button. There’s only a second of the annoying ringing before they pick up. Akaashi places the call on speaker, stepping away to sit beside Bokuto. Hanamaki sighs softly, nodding in thanks to Akaashi before he turns his attention to the phone. 

 

“ _ Takahiro?”  _ Oikawa’s voice says, tone edged with guilt and worry. 

 

Clearing his throat, Hanamaki sits a little straighter even though they can’t see him. “Oikawa,” he greets. He can hear the shocked inhale of breath. 

 

_ “Takahiro, please, can we explain?”  _ Iwaizumi asks, voice desperate and thick with tears. He never thought he’d hear something like that from Iwaizumi. 

 

“That’s why I’m here, Iwaizumi, to listen,” he says it calmly, though the fire in his veins has already been sparked. He doesn’t want an apology  _ over the phone. _

 

(But it’s the best he’ll get, seeing as how none of them can come down here.)

 

(Not like they’d want to come down here.)

 

(It’s okay, though. He understands.)

 

_ “Hiro, none of us thought you were real, okay? We’ve all been studying nonstop and we’re all stressed. I know it’s not a good excuse, but we all thought we were just...seeing things. Please, you have to understand.” _

 

And he does. He really does. 

 

_ “Takahiro, we’re sorry-  _ **_I’m_ ** _ sorry,”  _ Matsukawa whispers, voice breaking. 

 

Hanamaki goes quiet, the silence tense. 

 

_ “We didn’t think you’d come up here, we’re so so sorry, please, Hiro, please,”  _ Oikawa says, voice trembling as he begins to babble nonsense into the phone. Hanamaki hates that he wishes he was there to pull him into a hug, to whisper that it’s okay--

 

He hates that he wants to be there for Oikawa when he brushed him off so violently. 

 

He glances over at Bokuto and Akaashi, both of them watching him. Akaashi looks as if he could seriously murder someone, and Bokuto just looks scared and plain upset. 

 

“I understand,” he breathes out, tearing his gaze away from his friends. He hears three different relieved sighs, all of them talking over one another. 

 

_ “We’ll make it up to you--” _

 

_ “Thank you so much--” _

 

_ “If there’s anything we can do to make it up to you--” _

 

Clearing his throat, he cuts them all off. “ _ I understand,  _ but that doesn’t make it okay. It was a really shitty thing to do, and I’m going to be honest, it fucking hurt. I’m not saying I don’t forgive you guys, of course I do, but I’m still seriously pissed off.” He practically hisses the whole speech out, venom laced in his voice. Where did this bitterness even come from? He was upset a moment ago, but now the spark in his veins has been lit into a blazing fire and he’s so so  _ so pissed.  _

 

_ “H-Hiro, if we could, we would make it up to you in person-” _

 

“Oh, I forgot! It’s exam season, we’re all  _ so stressed,  _ but isn’t that why I went? To pull you away from your studies so you could all get a break? Yeah, no, don’t give me that ‘in person’ bullshit. If you want my complete forgiveness, then you’ll find a way to tell me in person.”

 

_ “Taka, that’s not fair-” _

 

“ _ Not fair?  _ Wow, god forbid I want an apology that’s not over the phone.”

 

“ _ That’s not what I-” _

 

“Then what? It’s unfair to force you to come all the way down here just to apologize? Well, then I guess that shows me how much you all really care.” 

 

_ “Takahiro, just calm down, please.”  _

 

“Listen, I said I understand, and I do, trust me, I do. But an apology over the phone means shit to me.”

 

The building tension is suddenly so thick that Bokuto babbles out some excuse, exiting the room. Akaashi stays, though, stormy eyes narrowed. 

 

_ “Takahiro, w-we love you, okay?” _

 

Hanamaki sucks in a startled breath, all his anger crumbling away to reveal the raw emotion lying beneath. Why did Iwaizumi have to say that?

 

_ “ _ **_I_ ** _ love you, and I am so sorry. I know...I know it means nothing, but--” _

 

Hanamaki accidentally cuts him off with a pathetic sob, the sound tumbling past his lips as his shoulders begin to shake uncontrollably. The phone nearly slips out of his grasp, but Akaashi reaches forward to catch it. 

 

“We expect an apology in person,” Akaashi says, and with that, he ends the call. 

 

~~~~~

 

**[Iwaizumi]:** Hiro?

 

**[Iwaizumi]:** Please talk to us

 

**[Oikawa]:** we promise we’ll make it  up to u 

 

**[Matsukawa]:** pls just talk to us 

 

**[Matsukawa]:** Takahiro please 

 

**[Hanamaki]:** [ https://youtu.be/KRaWnd3LJfs ](https://youtu.be/KRaWnd3LJfs)

 

_ Hanamaki Takahiro has left the conversation  _

 

**[Iwaizumi]:** No, no no this is bad 

 

**[Oikawa]:** fuck wht do we do???

 

**[Matsukawa]:** guys i think he bloked us 

 

**[Iwaizumi]:** What??

 

**[Oikawa]:** how would we kno tho 

 

**[Oikawa]:** hes probably just ignoring the messages 

 

**[Iwaizumi]:** Akaashi just texted me to inform me that he has. 

 

**[Oikawa]:** shit 

 

**[Matsukawa]:** how r we gonna make it up to him???

 

**[Iwaizumi]:** we just have to visit him in person 

 

**[Matsukawa]:** how tho? With what money? And exams are right around the corner?

 

**[Oikawa]:** we’ll just...hav to figure smthin out…

 

~~~~~

 

Oikawa sits on the couch, staring off into space. He grips his phone -- the alien case now on it -- his hands shaking violently as his mind scrolls through the day’s events. What has he done? He can’t believe he  _ yelled  _ at Hanamaki. And he can’t believe that even after that, he still gave him the phone case.

 

Gritting his teeth, Oikawa takes a shaky breath. He’s not allowed to cry. This is  _ his  _ fault, and he needs to make it better. 

 

First, exams. Then everything will be about visiting Hanamaki and making everything okay. He doesn’t want to lose Hanamaki, doesn’t want to lose  _ any  _ of them. He can feel the rip in the relationship and all he wants to do is stitch up that tear. Healing will take time, but he’s willing to do anything if it means Hanamaki will forgive him. 

 

He just doesn’t know what to do right now. He should probably get up and go study, but...he doesn’t want to.

 

“Oikawa,” Sugawara says, stepping into the living room. “How’d the phone call go?”

 

“He...understands.”

 

“And? What’re you hiding?”

 

“He left the group chat and blocked all of us.”

 

Suga whistles lowly, placing a hand to his hip. “Well, I mean, I would, too.”

 

“That’s not helping, Suga,” Oikawa hisses, turning to glare at his roommate. 

 

“Sorry, sorry, but what did you expect? A lousy phone call isn’t going to do anything.”

 

Oikawa finally sets his phone down, sinking into the couch. “I know,” he whispers. He squeezes his eyes closed, desperately trying to hold the tears back, but his efforts are futile as a few slip out, running down his cheeks. A sigh is heard, then there’s small movement next to him. He feels an arm wrap around his shoulder, pulling him into a hug. 

 

“You’re not a terrible person, Tooru. Everything will work out,” Suga mumbles, rubbing circles on his back. For all the shit the two do to each other, when it comes down to it, they’re usually there for one another. That’s what living with someone does. 

 

Oikawa sniffs, sobbing pathetically into Sugawara’s shoulder. He doesn’t want to cry, he doesn’t  _ deserve  _ to cry, but no matter what he does, he can’t stop the flow of tears racing down his cheeks. 

 

* * *

 

**[Issei]:** guys

 

**[Issei]:** did either of you watch that youtuve link hiro sent?

 

**[Hajime]:** Not yet, I was trying to find out if he really blocked us

 

**[Issei]:** why? you dont trust akaashi?

 

**[Hajime]:** I'm hoping against hope

 

**[Tooru]:** oh gos

 

**[Tooru]:** I watched kt

 

**[Tooru]:** do you think he rlly feels tht way?

 

**[Hajime]:** What?

 

**[Issei]:** watch the video

 

**[Tooru]:** I dont want to believe it

 

**[Tooru]:** oh god we rlly fked up disnt we

 

**[Issei]:** I just

 

**[Issei]:** we did ignore him

 

**[Tooru]:** but does he rlly thibk we dont love him anymore? That we abandoned him??

 

**[Tooru]:** he said he understands

 

**[Issei]:** he spent his hard earned money for us

 

**[Tooru]:** its not funny to quote the song now

 

**[Issei]:** but he did spend all his cash for us

 

**[Issei]:** cn u imagine?? he already doesn't sleep enough n he does this for us

 

**[Issei]:** I vant take it oh god what if he really hates us?

 

**[Hajime]:** Fucj

 

**[Hajime]:** We messed up so bad

 

**[Tooru]:** wht can we do????

 

**[Tooru]:** i don't want ti believe tht he doesn't love us anymote

 

**[Hajime]:** I don't know. We need to make it up to him.

 

**[Issei]:** can we ..

 

**[Issei]:** can we please please  _ please _ message each other every night?

 

**[Issei]:** I knw we do already but I dont want this to happen agaun

 

**[Issei]:** please

 

**[Tooru]:** same

 

**[Tooru]:** ill message whenever I can

 

**[Hajime]:** I agree

 

**[Hajime]:** We can message as often as you want

 

**[Hajime]:** I don't want this to happen to any one of us again

 

**[Issei]:** I love u guys

 

**[Tooru]:** love u too

 

**[Hajime]:** I love all of you

 

**[Tooru]:** we'll always be here for eavh other ok???

 

**[Issei]:** yeah

 

**[Issei]:** definitely

 

* * *

 

A week passes by. Exams hang over Matsukawa’s head like some death sentence. He desperately texts Iwaizumi and Oikawa at every chance he gets, not wanting to lose them as well. He even messages Hanamaki, sending him photos he thinks he’d like and telling him about his day. Hanamaki doesn’t answer, but Oikawa and Iwaizumi do when they have time. 

 

**[Hajime]:** Sorry if I don’t reply, my exams start in five days so I’m super busy. 

 

**[Tooru]:** Same here 

 

**[Issei]:** alright same 

 

**[Issei]:** i love you guys 

 

**[Tooru]:** ily2<3

 

**[Hajime]:** Love you, too. 

 

It’s nice, knowing that they still do. But it’s also weird to not get a third one back. It leaves him feeling guilty and way too upset, so he shuts his phone off and ventures into the kitchen. 

 

“Okay, my dude, I know you’re upset and brooding, but you can’t wear that hoodie twenty-four seven,” Kuroo says, sliding over a bowl of noodles. Matsukawa stares at the food before shaking his head, moving to grab a bottle of water. 

 

“Dude, seriously, this isn’t healthy.”

 

Matsukawa frowns, looking down at the black hoodie. Sure, he hasn’t taken it off since that day, but...whatever. “I’m going out.”

 

“You need to  _ eat. _ ”

 

“I need to get a job.”

 

“Mattsun, bro, come on.”

 

Matsukawa turns around, opening the bottle. He doesn’t answer Kuroo, and doesn’t bother acknowledging his presence as he heads towards the front door. He slips his shoes on, downing half the bottle of water before recapping it and setting it aside. He moves to open the door, but Kuroo slams his hand against it, refusing to let him open it. 

 

“I’m not kidding. When’s the last time you slept for over three hours?”

 

Matsukawa furrows his eyebrows together before lifting his shoulders into a shrug. 

 

“Matsukawa, please,” Kuroo says, cat-like eyes narrowed as he stares at his friend. Matsukawa frowns at him for a moment before gently pushing him away and opening the door. 

 

“I have to, Kuroo,” he mumbles, stepping out of the dorm room. 

 

He walks away, ignoring Kuroo shouting at him to come back. He keeps walking until he reaches the popular bookstore that students go to, slipping inside. He had gotten an interview to get a job here, and hopefully he would get the spot. 

 

Because if Hanamaki was willing to work himself ragged to come visit them, then he’d do it, too. It’s the least he could do for him. 

 

* * *

 

Iwaizumi stares at the textbook, the words swimming together. He looks up at his alarm clock, cringing. It’s five in the morning. 

 

He didn’t send them a goodnight text-- 

 

Scrambling off the chair, he swipes his phone off his bed and checks the group chat. 

 

**[Tooru]:** goodnight guys!! Love you!

 

**[Issei]:** night love you too 

 

**[Tooru]:** wheres hajime???

 

**[Issei]:** ….im not sure 

 

**[Tooru]:** ah oh well..

 

**[Tooru]:** night 

 

Guilt washes over Iwaizumi in waves, and he groans as he presses his phone to his forehead. He’s been so busy studying lately. Studying medicine is very stressful, and he’s been worrying that he wouldn’t remember the material. 

 

(But that's not an excuse, he knows it's not.)

 

Standing up, Iwaizumi walks back to his desk to close his textbook. His first class is at ten, so he can get at least four hours of sleep. That’s more than he’s been getting lately. 

 

Shuffling over to his bed, Iwaizumi slides under the covers. He grabs his phone again, swiping it open with his thumb and scrolling through his conversations. His thumb hovers over the one with Hanamaki, his good morning text still unread. He takes a shaky breath, closing his eyes. 

 

He deserves to be ignored.

 

Closing his phone and setting it aside, Iwaizumi sinks into his mattress. 

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** I think I’m going to call Bokuto. 

 

**[Issei]:** r u sure thts a good idea?

 

**[Hajime]:** I don’t know, but I need to try something. 

 

**[Tooru]:** lets call him together so u dnt have to be alone 

 

**[Hajime]:** Yeah, alright. Thanks. 

 

Before he can back out, Iwaizumi punches in Bokuto’s number, holding his breath. It rings four times before he picks up. 

 

_ “Hello!”  _ Bokuto chirps, sounding way too cheerful. 

 

“Um, hi Bokuto-kun.”

 

“Hi,” Oikawa and Matsukawa say in unison. 

 

_ “Oh, why did you guys call? Not to be rude, but if this is about Hanamaki--” _

 

“Bokuto, please! We don’t like him ignoring us!” Oikawa says quickly. 

 

The other side of the line goes quiet, the only sound being Bokuto's careful breathing. Finally, he speaks up, clearing his throat. 

 

_ “Excuse me? You don’t like him ignoring you? But it’s okay for  _ **_you_ ** _ to ignore him?”  _ Bokuto’s voice has lowered dangerously, his tone bitter and full of anger. 

 

“No,” Matsukawa says quickly, “Tooru didn’t mea--”

 

_ “Do you know what he did?”  _ Bokuto snaps, rudely cutting Matsukawa off.  _ “He took  _ so _ many shifts to get that money. Not just that, but every night before leaving he’d cook dinner for us. He’d even go grocery shopping even though I volunteered to do it when it was his turn. He did so much, okay?”  _ Bokuto’s voice grows in volume, suddenly not caring about being civil. 

 

_ “He was so fucking excited for the trip! He wouldn’t stop talking about how he would finally get to see you guys, and can you imagine my confusion when he comes back early crying? I don’t care what he says about you guys, you’re all assholes for doing this to him.” _

 

“We  _ know  _ that, Bokuto,” Iwaizumi says calmly despite the rapid beating of his heart, “That’s why we’re trying to fix it.”

 

_ “I know you guys don’t have time right now because of exams, but I don’t care. Don’t fucking call me again until you come here in person with an apology.” _

 

“Bokuto, wait--”

 

He hangs up, leaving the other three to sit there on their own separate devices. 

 

“That was a bust,” Matsukawa mumbles the obvious.

 

Oikawa nervously chews on his bottom lip, hand violently trembling as he holds his phone. “What are we going to do now?”

 

“I think we should focus on exams first so that we can give our all to fixing this mess,” Iwaizumi sighs.

 

“I miss him a lot.” Matsukawa suddenly says, voice quiet and small as if he’s scared. 

 

(And, well, he  _ is.  _ What if the apology isn’t enough? What if Hanamaki never wants to speak, or see, them again? What if he runs into someone who treats him better? Runs into someone who won’t ignore him? What if he leaves them?)

 

(Well, Matsukawa can’t help but think that they’d deserve it.)

 

“Yeah, I do, too,” Oikawa sighs. 

 

Iwaizumi hums as agreement. “Well, I should go,” he hesitates for a moment before forcing a smile on his face. “I love you guys.” 

 

There’s a small chorus of ‘I love you, too’ before they all hang up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /Slowly break dances out of the room   
> But am I really sorry? 
> 
> Safyre's Tumblr: [Sapphyrelily](sapphyrelily.tumblr.com)
> 
> Jamie's Tumblr: [Seijouho](seijouho.tumblr.com)


	8. Estranged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready... For _more_ suffering?  >:)

Hanamaki is someone who follows a schedule.

 

Get up, roll over and send a good morning text to the group chat. Get dressed, eat, brush teeth, check group chat. Grab bag, check group chat, pull shoes on, say goodbye to Bokuto. Go the first classes until lunch, sometimes ignore the lectures and check the group chat. Go to lunch and talk in the group chat while eating. Go to the rest of his classes, get lost for hours doing his art. Send a message to the group chat on the way to work. Go to work then go back to the dorm, cook dinner and eat with Bokuto, talk in the group chat. Do homework while talking in the group chat. Say goodnight in the group chat before going to sleep. Then he repeats it all the next day.

 

When exam season came around, his schedule changed drastically. He found he didn't have as much time to talk, so he messaged them before bed.

 

Until he doesn't talk to them at all.

 

 _Two whole weeks_ without talking to people who he used to talk to every day.

 

It was hard. Really hard, at first. He found himself staring at his phone the first few days, desperately waiting for a message to pop up. But then he’d realize that he blocked them, and would need to force himself to look away from the device.

 

Today is one of the harder days. Nothing is going right.

 

(When does anything go right for him?)

 

He wakes up late, almost missing his classes. He completely misses lunch from being too absorbed in cramming in information. Then it starts raining on his way to work, and he barely makes it in time from all the traffic. He walks in soaking wet and miserable. Then, when he gets home, he finds that they are out of food.

 

Bokuto said he'd go, but it is Hanamaki’s turn anyway. So he politely declines and steps into the rain again.

 

(He is just glad it isn't completely dark out yet.)

 

But, of course, after paying for the food and making his way towards the entrance, he finds that he had been in there longer than he had thought. He ends up having to call Bokuto to come get him so he wouldn't have to walk in the dark alone.

 

(No matter how many times he apologizes, Bokuto insists it is all right.)

 

(Hanamaki still feels way too guilty.)

 

After making dinner and eating, he retreats to his room with a small ‘good night’ thrown over his shoulder.

 

Collapsing on his bed with a groan, he pulls his phone out of his pocket. Talking to his boyfriends after a long day always helps him to feel better.

 

He quickly opens Snapchat, looking for the one from Oikawa that he received every day.

 

(Over a three hundred day steak.)

 

(Isn't that awesome?)

 

But as he taps the app open, he feels his heart plummet to the ground.

 

 _Oh yeah,_ he muses, staring at the screen, _I'm ignoring them._

 

Sitting up in his bed, Hanamaki frowns at the now ruined streak. He remembers when they had reached three hundred days. Oikawa was so excited, he took a screenshot and sent it to the group chat, screaming the whole day about their amazing streak.

 

Funny how things can change so drastically so quickly.

 

Shutting his phone off, Hanamaki looks over at his window. He can't help but think of Ochinko, and how he's doing.

 

(Does he have a family yet? Friends? _Someone?_ )

 

Well, wherever his feathery friend is, Hanamaki is positive that he's better off than him.

 

* * *

 

Matsukawa smiles and bows to the last customer, then walks to the front of the shop to turn the sign to 'Closed’.

 

He had offered to take the last shift because everyone else was too busy studying for their exams, and he had been desperate to escape his dorm and the constant nagging that he faced there. Besides, because of exam season, there are few customers, and he can study in peace while sitting at the cash register.

 

He makes his way towards the back room, intending to grab a broom to sweep the shop before he leaves. But as he reaches the door, the slight giddiness he had been feeling all day rushes in to meet him as a tidal wave of black spots, compressing his brain and disrupting his balance.

 

Matsukawa stumbles, grabbing the doorframe as he tries to take deep breaths to counter the world that is spinning around him. Black patches bloom and fade, and he feels an overwhelming urge to throw up.

 

_Not now, please._

 

He sinks to the floor in a crouch, putting his head between his knees as he tries to push away the vertigo. It seems to help, his vision clearing slightly and his breathing growing easy. The cold sweat beading on his back is less prominent as well, and he takes that as his chance to stand up.

 

The dizziness rushes in the moment he is on both feet, and he stumbles, crashing into the doorframe painfully. He thinks he remembers sinking to the ground, thinks he feels his eyes close, but he isn't sure.

 

The next thing he knows, a familiar tone is playing somewhere behind him, and he pries his eyes open with difficulty, his groggy mind trying to place why the sound is so important.

 

It takes a few more seconds for him to register that _oh, that's my phone_ , and he reaches a hand behind him to pull the phone out of his pocket.

 

“'Ello?” His voice is thick, his mind foggy, but even someone as inebriated as him can hear the worry on the other end of the line.

 

_“Mattsun! Oh god, bro, are you okay?!”_

 

“Kuroo?” His mind is slightly clearer now, and he pushes himself upright with one arm, wincing at the pounding in his head. Wait, why is he on the floor?

 

_“Bro, please, I've been trying to call you for an hour, tell me where you are!”_

 

Matsukawa frowns at the brown wood floor, mind slowly chugging along as he tries to process _why_ Kuroo sounds so worried as well as trying to link the floor to a place. His eyes sweep across the racks of books around him, lit by the comforting yellow glow of the overhead lights. He can hear murmuring on the other end of the line, and soon, he hears a quiet, calm voice.

 

_“Issei, where are you?”_

 

Kenma.

 

“I--” He frowns at his surroundings, memories slowly trickling in. “I'm at the school bookshop, I think? Why am I here?”

 

A sigh of relief. _“What's the last thing you remember?”_

 

“I don't know?” A vague image of turning a sign, of grabbing the doorframe, appears in his mind. “I think I was closing the shop?”

 

He hears a pained groan on the other end, cocking his head curiously when he recognises it as Kuroo. But it is his roommate's boyfriend that speaks, whose calm, quiet voice brings him back to reality.

 

_“Did you hit your head?”_

 

Now that he has mentioned it, Matsukawa feels the side of his head throbbing, and reaches up to touch it, his fingers coming away sticky and red. “Wow. Ouch.”

 

_“Issei?”_

 

“I hit my head,” he admits, looking up to see a dark red stain on the doorframe, and a small puddle of the same rusty brown on the floor. “I think the skin is split, there's a bit of blood.”

 

 _“How are you feeling now? Can you stand?”_ There's a hint of suppressed panic in his tone, and Matsukawa feels a small smile twitch his lips up.

 

(Someone cares. It’s a nice thought.)

 

(Doesn’t he know more people who care though?)

 

(Huh. He can’t remember.)

 

“I’m fine. I think I can clean this up, and then I'll come back. I need sleep.”

 

There's a loud sigh of relief, and then Kuroo is speaking again. _“Glad you're safe, bro. Come home quick, okay?”_

 

“Yeah.” He ends the call, sitting for a moment and wondering since when his dorm in Tokyo became home. Nothing but blackness and pain meet him when he tries to dig into the memory, so he takes a few deep breaths before slowly standing up. He needs water, and a bit of sugar, before he can start cleaning, start piecing together the memories that fell apart when he fainted.

 

Oh. He fainted.

 

Well, that hasn't happened in a while.

 

Reaching the cash register, he swipes a bottle of water from the rack and opens it, gulping its contents quickly. His head feels a bit better after that, so he heads to the back for the cleaning materials, determined to remove any traces of his weakness.

 

He knows now that he can't continue on like this. Kuroo was right, after all. He needs more than three hours of sleep, more than just half a bottle of water every day. Curse his dumb body and its needs.

 

He'll work something out, but until he can earn enough money to take a trip to Kyoto, he can't afford to waste more time.

 

Good thing exams end in two days.

 

* * *

 

The smoke burns his throat as he inhales, and he closes his eyes as he exhales. It's not healthy by any means, but he can't find it in himself to care anymore.

 

If the team finds out, he'll be kicked off for sure. If Suga finds out, he'll tell Iwaizumi and Matsukawa, and if _they_ find out, they'll freak out. And _then_ they'll be disappointed and upset, which will cause him to feel guilty.

 

So Oikawa keeps this as his own tiny secret. Smoking isn't _that_ bad, right? He can quit _any time_ , really.

 

Just. Not right now. He physically needs the burn, the high, anything to keep him sane. He will stop after exams end.

 

Tomorrow. That's tomorrow. He'll stop then.

 

(Maybe he'll wait till after this mess with Hanamaki.)

 

Dropping the cigarette, he quickly stomps on the end of it so it'll go out completely. He then stuffs the box of unused ones into the inside pocket of his jacket, next to his lighter.

 

It's not even a full addiction yet; he only smokes one in the morning and one at night. Nothing too serious, honestly.

 

Slipping into a small corner store, he retreats to the restroom. Luckily it's a one person room, so he steps in and locks the door behind him.

 

Opening up his bag, he quickly sprays cologne on himself to hide the hideous smell the cigarettes give. After that, he pulls out a mint, quickly popping it into his mouth.

 

(It's not an addiction, he swears. He just does this so Suga won't find out.)

 

Slipping everything back into his bag, Oikawa retreats from the small store. That's when his phone buzzes, pulling him from his thoughts.

 

 **[Issei]:** hey want to meet up day after tomorrow?

 

 **[Issei]:** exams will be finished n I miss u

 

 **[Issei]:** plus we can talk about this Hiro thing as well

 

 **[Tooru]:** yes!!

 

 **[Tooru]:** I'd love to<33

 

 **[Issei]:** great

 

 **[Issei]:** u com here or I go there?

 

 **[Tooru]:** hmmm can u come down here?

 

 **[Issei]:** mhmm I can

 

 **[Tooru]:** good!!!

 

 **[Tooru]:** cnt wait<33

 

 **[Issei]:** same<3

 

Oikawa slips the phone back into his pocket, stepping up to his door. The box of cigarettes is like a giant weight in his pocket as he walks into the room, smiling brightly at Suga.

 

* * *

 

“Time's up. Pens down.”

 

Iwaizumi drops his pen with a sigh, closing the answer booklet and waiting his turn to hand it to the invigilator. The second the paper leaves his hand and the invigilator walks away, he drops his head onto the table, groaning in a mix of relief and pain.

 

It’s over. Finally. Now he’ll finally have some time to rest, and he can go visit Oikawa and Matsukawa and Hanamaki--

 

His heart pounds painfully, blood pounding round a stake that was never removed.

 

Hanamaki.

 

He can’t relax, not now. He has to go get a job, and earn enough money so he can get a ticket to Kyoto--

 

“You may leave the venue.”

 

He shoots out of his seat, heading for the door, mind whirring as he tries to remember if there are any job openings at the cafés or bookshops around the university. He nearly bumps into a number of people on his mad dash to the main hub of shopping activity, but luckily, no one stops him.

 

By the time he reaches the student centre, he is winded, hands on knees as he pants for breath, but his eyes are still searching, looking for a place that would possibly take him on such short notice.

 

There’s a noise of surprise behind him, and he peers over his shoulder to see none other than his roommate cocking his head at him.

 

“Iwaizumi? Why are you blocking the road?”

 

Iwaizumi looks down at himself. Oh, so he is.

 

He straightens and moves aside, falling into step with Ushijima. “Sorry, I rushed here, and then I was too tired to realise. I wanted to look for a job, but I’m not sure if there are any vacancies left.”

 

Ushijima grunts in response. “If I recall correctly, the florist always has vacancies. I was going to ask for an interview myself, but alas, I cannot commit that amount of time to a job.” He side-glances his roommate. “Medical students should have even less time than I, a business student. Whyever would you want to waste your precious time off on a job?”

 

Iwaizumi smiles, despite the unintentional jibe. “I need the money to visit Takahiro. Besides, I’m sure I can study at the shop, if I get a job there. It’s not like very many people buy flowers regularly.”

 

“You’d never know,” Ushijima tells him seriously. “There are a great number of males and females who adore horticulture for its hidden language, and a great many would visit to purchase a bouquet for their loved one.” He pauses, as if thinking. “Perhaps working at the shop would be good for you, after all.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Flower language,” Ushijima says, as if it explains everything. He then claps Iwaizumi on the shoulder, and pushes him in the direction of the flower shop. “Do your best. But do not take too many shifts, or I will have to call upon Oikawa to knock some sense into you.”

 

“Oh, no, heaven forbid Oikawa be the sensible one.”

 

Ushijima cracks a rare smile. “Was that sarcasm?”

 

Iwaizumi finds himself grinning back. “Yeah, I think so. I’m no good at it.”

 

“Neither am I.” Ushijima shrugs, then turns towards the dorms. “Farewell. I will see you back at our accommodations. Shall I prepare dinner?”

 

“If you would. I’ll do the groceries.”

 

“That would be much appreciated. Thank you.”

 

Iwaizumi raises a hand to wave goodbye, then stares up at the florist’s sign. He takes a deep breath, squares his shoulders, and walks into the naturally perfumed shop.

 

Not twenty minutes later, the shopkeeper shakes his hand and pulls out a part-time contract for him to sign.

 

He needs the money, he tells himself, as he negotiates shift timings with the shop owner. It doesn’t matter if he is a little short on sleep, because half a year into medical school, he is used to little sleep anyway.

 

He needs the money, if he is ever going to make it to Kyoto and apologise to Hanamaki in person.

 

(He also needs the knowledge of flower language, if he interpreted what Ushijima was saying correctly.)

 

(Maybe Hanamaki would forgive him a little faster if he could convey his message through a more romantic medium.)

 

* * *

 

Oikawa opens the front door of the building he lives in, lifting a hand to his cigarette and carefully lighting it. It’s early morning and he had left Sugawara to sleep, writing a note to tell him he’d be back with breakfast.

 

That’s where he’s headed now. The coffee shop down the way, where fresh muffins and milk bread are always sold early.

 

The smoke curls around in his lungs as he inhales. He knows this is getting bad. Knows that if he’s caught, then it’s over...but he just can’t bring himself to quit just yet.

 

(After this mess with Hanamaki, he tells himself as he lights his second cigarette.)

 

He pulls out his phone to distract himself, freezing as he finds new messages from Matsukawa.

 

 **[Issei]:** @ the train station I’ll be there in a hour or so

 

 **[Issei]:** Tooru i hope u didnt forget tht we agreed to meet today

 

 **[Issei]:** well i made it safe

 

 **[Issei]:** be @ ur place in ten?

 

 **[Issei]:** ill pick up some stuff at the coffee shop near there

 

Oikawa mentally shrieks, staring at when he had received the message. Five minutes ago. He has time. He needs to just hurry up and slip into the restroom, put on his cologne, do whatever the fuck he needs to do but he needs to _hurry_.

 

“Oh, Tooru, hello,” the familiar deep voice says, tinged with slight confusion.

 

He doesn’t want to turn around, but the hand with the cigarette is already hanging by his side. He knows he’s been caught, knows that he needs to come up with an excuse quickly.

 

He whirls around, bright smile on his face as he looks up at Matsukawa. “Issei! I came to meet you at the coffee shop!”

 

(They both know it’s a lie.)

 

“So, how was the train ride? Did you sleep well? You look _exhausted--_ ”

 

“Tooru.”

 

Oikawa freezes, nervously looking down at the death stick in his hand. He swiftly drops it, letting it fall to the cement. With a fluid motion, he stomps on it with his foot, all while smiling at his boyfriend.

 

Matsukawa watches the movements with narrowed eyes, frowning deeply. “Since when...do you smoke?”

 

Oikawa gulps. “A while now, i-it’s nothing important, so why don’t we go get some foo--”

 

Matsukawa suddenly steps forward, wrapping his arms around Oikawa’s waist as he pulls the shorter male close. He squeezes his boyfriend tightly, resting his chin on top of his head. He doesn’t speak, not until Oikawa hesitantly reaches up to hug him back.

 

“Please, don’t do this to yourself.”

 

Oikawa stiffens, roughly pushing Matsukawa away. “What?”

 

“Please, _please_. This isn’t good for you, it’s not good for anyone! Why would you pick up smoking of all things?! Don’t you know what that can do to you?” Matsukawa slowly hits the line of hysteria, eyes wide as he rants.

 

“I don’t want you to get cancer, or to fucking die, I care about you too much. Just- I. I failed Hiro and now I can't even take care of you-- I am _so_ sorry please don't do this to yourself, Tooru, please don't. _Please_.”

 

Oikawa scowls at him, taking a step back. His mood is suddenly blacker, Matsukawa's begging having unearthed a deep-rooted bitterness. “This isn’t about me, it’s about Hiro.”

 

“Huh? No, Tooru, what?”

 

Oikawa laughs, turning around. He then throws his hands in the air, shaking his head. “I should’ve known! You don’t care, you only feel guilty for failing Taka, so you’re thinking that if you can help me, then it’ll all be okay!” He drops his hands, turning to smile bitterly at Matsukawa. “That’s it, right? Well, nothing can erase it! What you did-- What _we_ did to Hiro, can’t be erased! We’re all horrible people, so don’t even try to help me! You couldn’t help Takahiro, and now you can’t help me. Accept the facts, Issei.”

 

A shocked look passes over Matsukawa’s face. He opens his mouth, but it takes him a couple moments to finally choke something out. “Tooru, I care about _you_ . Fuck, I mean, I do feel awful about Takahiro, that’s why we’re trying to fix things--” His voice suddenly breaks as he watches Oikawa scoff. “I love you, okay? Why else would I come down here? Why else would I care so much? I want to help you, so _please_ let me help.”

 

Oikawa shakes his head, sneering as he jerks his head away, looking at the road. “You can’t do shit, Matsukawa.”

 

Matsukawa doesn’t mean to, but he breaks. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep, maybe it’s because he missed Oikawa a lot, maybe it’s because he’s so _tired_ and _stressed_ , or maybe it’s everything combined. Tears slip down his cheeks as he stares at Oikawa, trying to get words out but he only ends up blabbering nonsense.

 

Through his onslaught of tears, he can see the shock on Oikawa’s face.

 

(Because it's not every day you see your pillar fall, crack, until it’s nothing but rubble.)

 

“I-Issei, I didn’t...I’m just...I don’t--”

 

Matsukawa chokes on a breath, wiping his eyes and stepping forward. Oikawa expects a hit, a punch, something, but no. Matsukawa snatches his lighter and box of cigarettes, turns around, and begins to walk away.

 

“You don’t need them,” he says over his shoulder, voice thick with tears as he disappears around the corner.

 

(Oikawa can’t help but laugh bitterly. It all happened so fast that by the time he gets back to his apartment, he’s sure it was just some dream. But when he can’t find his lighter or cigarettes, the harsh reality that he just fucked up again slaps him across the face.)

 

* * *

 

 **[Issei]:** hajime

 

 **[Issei]:** hajime please, i need to talk to you

 

 **[Hajime]:** Issei?

 

 **[Hajime]:** What happened?

 

 **[Issei]:** just

 

 **[Issei]:** did u know that tooru sokes?

 

 **[Issei]:** smokes

 

 **[Hajime]:** WHAT?!

 

 **[Issei]:** so u didn’t know either

 

 **[Hajime]:** What happened?

 

 **[Issei]:** i went to see him n he was casually smoking a cigarette

 

 **[Issei]:** like he’s being doing it for a while

 

 **[Issei]:** and when i told him it’s bad for him he yelled at me

 

 **[Issei]:** id ont know what to do hajime, i feel so useless

 

 **[Hajime]:** I’m sorry

 

 **[Hajime]:** I feel bad too, I’ll try to talk to him

 

 **[Hajime]:** Hang in there, okay? We’ll work something out

 

 **[Issei]:** yeah, i guess

 

 **[Issei]:** thanks

 

 **[Issei]:** i love you

 

 **[Hajime]:** I love you too

 

Matsukawa locks the phone and drops it onto his bed. He presses his fingers to his temples, closing his eyes while taking a shuddering breath.

 

No matter what Iwaizumi says, he can’t stop thinking about it. Can’t stop replaying his conversation with Oikawa, his accusatory gaze, the poorly veiled anger in his irises.

 

**_You couldn’t help Takahiro, and now you can’t help me._ **

 

He’s failed _again_.

 

**_Accept the facts, Issei._ **

 

He’s not in control, he’s never been in control. He can’t do anything, it’s out of his hands, he’s useless.

 

 **_You can’t do shit,_ ** **Matsukawa** ** _._ **

 

The last time he’d been reduced to just his last name, Hanamaki had rejected all of them. Blocked them, ostracised them, kicked them out of his life.

 

What if Oikawa was trying to do the same?

 

**You are not enough.**

 

_Stop._

 

**You are pathetic.**

 

_No._

 

**You couldn’t do anything, and now they are gone.**

 

_NO!_

 

He finds his fingernails digging into his palms, the physical pain a poor distraction from the jagged claws shredding his heart. A sob escapes before he can stop himself, so he bites down on the sleeve of his hoodie to muffle the noise.

 

**_You don’t care, you only feel guilty for failing Taka._ **

 

 _No, no, that’s a lie._ Of course _I care about you. I love you as much as I love Hiro._

 

**_This isn't about me, it's about Hiro._ **

 

Matsukawa bites down harder, trying to muffle the scream that wants to tear its way out of him.

 

_...it’s not just about Hiro._

 

**Stop lying.**

 

He doesn’t know, doesn’t know anymore. Who’s voice is that? Is that Oikawa, scolding him? Is that his inner voice berating him?

 

**Liar.**

 

**Selfish.**

 

**Useless.**

 

**How does it feel, to be the helpless one?**

 

_Leave me alone._

 

He doesn’t know if he says it out loud, if it’s a cry or a whisper, if he screamed it out or hides it in his heart to fester and rot.

 

He doesn’t know how long he lies there, curled up in a ball on his bed, muffling his voice with his sleeve as a gag.

 

He doesn’t know if he actually hears the door open, hears Kuroo come in, hears him sigh at his figure.

 

But when he finally stutters to life, gasping and shaking and crying from a memory relived in a dream, he finds that he _is_ covered by his blanket, that there is a cup of unopened cup noodles by his bedside, with a little note on it that reads _I didn’t know when you’d wake up, so please feed your heavy ass when you do wake up. I want this_ eaten _, not back in our cupboard._

 

And somehow, a lone unopened cup of instant noodles has him breaking down all over again.

 

He failed Hanamaki. He failed Oikawa. He let down Iwaizumi, by not being able to do anything, by neglecting Oikawa so much that he thought it would be easier to turn to a product that could shorten his life for comfort than to talk to him.

 

And yet. And yet, Kuroo still thought of leaving him a note, of making sure that he was eating, of covering him so that he wouldn’t catch a cold, that he remained in good health.

 

He owes so many people so many things, and all he is doing is taking and taking and _taking_ , and not returning their kindness in any way.

 

With a last hiccup and a sharp pinch to his thigh, Matsukawa rolls out of bed, stumbling a little with dizziness, the effect of not having eaten or drunk anything in over a day getting to him. He really needs to remember to feed his stupid body more often.

 

He leaves the blanket behind, his hoodie in the laundry hamper, and stumbles to the kitchen with the cup of noodles in hand.

 

He can’t afford to lie down any longer. He needs to get up, start working, start paying off his debts. He needs to get enough money to start paying his portion of their dorm rent, to get more groceries, to put aside enough for the (now) weekly trip to Oikawa’s dorm.

 

And if he has enough left over after that...

  
Maybe he can save enough to get that ticket to Kyoto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This went from #protectmakki2k16 to #everyoneissuffering really fast.
> 
> Safyre's Tumblr: [Sapphyrelily](sapphyrelily.tumblrcom)
> 
> Jamie's Tumblr: [Seijouho](seijouho.tumblr.com)


	9. Crumbling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow everyone sure is sad lmao へ‿(ツ)‿ㄏ

Hanamaki fiddles with his pencil, staring at his empty canvas for the nth time that day and sighing. His project is due in two days, and yet he can't come up with anything.

 

It's not like he is feeling uninspired or anything. Oh, no, of course not.

 

But really, how can he create an art piece for 'Beginnings’ when all he has are endings?

 

(Oh, he has an idea, that's for sure. He had been planning to paint the four of them as they were when this whole mess began, because the beginning of the end is still a beginning, isn't it?)

 

( _A lone figure facing the canvas, looking over his shoulder at the three figures reaching out to him, a divide -- a great crack in the ground -- separating them from each other._ )

 

Hanamaki sighs and picks up his phone again, pulling up the messages from little over a month ago and flicking through them.

 

He isn't an unkind person, nor can he hold a grudge for long. He had blocked all of them in the heat of the moment, but after several weeks, he was horribly lonely, and would have taken them back, apology or no.

 

What he didn't expect is so few messages to come in the moment he unblocked them.

 

Oh, in the first few days after their fallout, there were very many of them. Nearly three hundred from Oikawa alone, close to a hundred from Matsukawa, and about fifty from Iwaizumi (it is _a lot_ ). But as the first week wore on, the messages dwindled, moving from apologies to just ‘Good morning's, 'Goodnight’s and the occasional 'How are you?’

 

By the second week, only Matsukawa and Iwaizumi were messaging him, once a day or once every few days. By the third week, it was only Iwaizumi, until he too, dropped off the face of the earth.

 

Hanamaki smiles bitterly at his phone and tosses it onto his desk. _So much for apologising and making it up to me._ _They probably forgot or don't care anymore._

 

Even as he thinks this, another thought comes to mind: _The group chat is silent._

 

Then: _oh, right, I left the group chat._

 

A new image comes to mind for his painting. Instead of the three of them reaching out for him, their backs are turned away from each other and him, each facing his own direction and taking a step towards it. The chasm has grown branches to separate them, and little cracks branch out from it, creating holes in the ground around them.

 

Have they really grown so far apart?

 

(Not that he would know. No one is in contact with him any longer.)

 

He sighs and drops the pencil, walking over to his window to push it open for a breath of fresh air. An indignant chirrup has him looking downwards, and his eyes widen in surprise at the sight of a familiar ball of feathers.

 

“Ochinko!”

 

His feathery friend chirps at him, then leans down to peck at the brown twigs at his feet, arranging them more neatly. (Or messily. Hanamaki can’t tell the difference.) Hanamaki leans on his windowsill, watching as the bird hops around, placing twigs just so to create a nest.

 

Suddenly, another bird of slightly brighter colouring swoops in, bearing more twigs in its beak. Ochinko chirps at it and takes the twigs, laying them about as the other flies off, probably in search of more nest-building material. Hanamaki smiles. “Chinchin, is that your mate?”

 

The bird cocks his head at him and chirps. Hanamaki laughs. “I still don’t know what that means, but yes, I suppose?”

 

He chirps and turns away, occupying himself with building his nest. Hanamaki sighs, wistfully this time, and continues to gaze at the way his friend starts a new chapter in his life.

 

An idea suddenly appears to him and he dashes for his canvas and paints, peering out of his window as he hurriedly prepares his art materials. Reds and greens and browns are slashed on the canvas, layered on top of each other to roughly take the shape of two birds laying the groundwork for their new home. Blues and whites and yellows are slathered around the nest-in-progress, a neutral background for the fluffy couple.

 

He does not look up from his work, thoroughly engrossed in capturing the way the birds work together. For the first time in what feels like forever, he is fully immersed in his craft.

 

It is only hours later when he is putting the finishing touches on the painting -- the shading, the highlights, the way the sunlight dapples across feathers -- that he realises he is done. The artwork he has been agonising over for _days_ is finally done.

 

And it is of his feathery friend.

 

Hanamaki drops the paintbrush onto the table and sinks to the ground, laughing self-deprecatingly at himself. Hysterical laughter slowly turns into crazed sobs, and he hides his face in his knees, wetting the material of his pants with tears.

 

Tiny claws dig into his shoulder, a curious chirp sounds in his ear. He looks up, hiccupping, and squints at the bird. “Chinchin, you want to know what’s wrong?”

 

 _Chirp_.

 

Hanamaki swipes at his eyes with the back of his hand. “I was supposed to draw beginnings. I wanted to do something with my boyfriends, because they are my best beginning, but instead I drew you and your mate. Ow, hey!” He swats at the bird, who is puffed up in indignation. “There’s nothing wrong with you and your mate! Just,” he sighs, and lowers his chin to his knees, “I wanted to remember _them_ , you know? I love them so much, and yet it seems like they’ve forgotten me for real this time.”

 

His chest aches, and he reaches up a hand to pet the feathery body on his shoulder for reassurance. A beak pecks his hand gently, and the cavity in his chest widens, loss sitting heavily on his heart. He withdraws his hand slowly, tucking it back under him as a sob tumbles out.

 

“I just miss them so much.”

 

* * *

 

Oikawa stares at the makeup kit on his table, sighing deeply as he keeps it away. He doesn’t have time for this. He can’t afford to pull another stunt like that, can’t afford to ridicule himself again.

 

_Turquoise gems sparkle in his ears, and smoky eyeshadow glitters in the light. He feels very pretty today, and it helps to boost his mood, especially with how down he’s been as of late. The skirt he has on swirls around, just above his knees. He had had to apply concealer to his knee to hide the bruising that came from overworking himself in practice again, but it was worth it._

 

_Maybe he should dress up more often. It obviously helps with his mood--_

 

_“Sissy.”_

 

_Oikawa does not turn around at the sneering remark, choosing to believe it isn’t for him. But the voice sounds again, closer and more aggressive this time, and he has to turn around to push away the person breathing down his neck._

 

_“Leave me alone.” He pulls on his aggressive mask easily, face contorting into a snarl. The broader boy leers at him, reaching a hand forward._

 

 _Oikawa steps back and slaps the hand away, his eyes narrowing. “I_ said, _leave me alone.”_

 

_“Why?” The other’s smirk grows larger, and he steps forward. “Why are you dressing up as a girl, huh? Is your dick so small that you’d rather be one?”_

 

_Oikawa shoves him away, grimly pleased when he stumbles a few steps back. Wrestling with Iwaizumi for years has some good to it, after all. “I can dress however I want. It’s none of your business.”_

 

 _“Oh?” The boy is angry now, probably because he has been stood up to, and that Oikawa is not caving. The brunet can make out the figures behind the boy, and from their postures and expressions, they are his friends, and are only waiting their turn to torment him. “Haven’t you heard? If you dress provocatively, it’s_ your fault _if you get raped.”_

 

 _Oikawa’s heart thunders in his chest, heart rate spiking at the thought of such an abominable act being done to him. Instead, he shifts his weight to one hip, raising an eyebrow condescendingly. “And I suppose then, it is_ your fault _if I rip out your eyes when defending myself against a rapist?”_

 

_The boy reels back, obviously not expecting that response. “What?”_

 

_Oikawa feels a sinister grin creep over his face, his mood shifting from terrified to vicious in an instant. “Oh, haven’t you heard?” He purrs. “You don’t get blessed with long fingers like these just for show or for piano, you know.” He wiggles his fingers in front of the boy’s face, stepping dangerously close and reaching for his eyes. “Setters handle volleyballs all the time, but eyeballs are just that, you know? Balls, but smaller, more slippery, connected to blood and nerves, with more pain involved if I tear them out of your head.”_

 

_He smiles wider, baring his teeth. “I wonder, can you still feel it if I rip it out? Will you feel it when I crush your eyes in my hands? The ‘pop’, the squelch, the feeling of slimy viscous fluid running down a hand.”_

 

_The boy blanches and smacks his hand away, stumbling back. “Monster.”_

 

_Oikawa shrugs casually, though his eyes are still burning, adrenaline still thrumming through his veins. “That’s what they say about rapists too. Are you sure you want to be a monster?”_

 

_“Murderer.”_

 

_“Come now,” Oikawa pouts, folding his arms. “You can only say that of someone who actually killed someone else. Do you see any blood on my hands?” He raises a hand and the boy flinches, tripping over himself as he tries to run away._

 

_“Monster! Stay away from me, murderer!” He yells it loudly enough that everyone turns to look, that his group of friends’ eyes widen, and they step back, faces frozen with fear._

 

 _Oikawa is terrified now, blood turning to ice as accusing glares are thrown his way. He retains his poker face as he calls loudly, “The only monster around here_ you. _I heard what you did to that girl, you know. Drugged her at a party and then tied her up in your room and raped her?” He shakes his head. “How shameful.”_

 

 _The lies and accusations pour from him now, bitterness manifested as false-mongering, used as darts to harm another. “Everyone said you were a decent fellow, but look what you’ve done now! I heard she dropped out of school too. Oh, wait.” He covers his mouth with a hand, stumbles back a little, eyes widened with fake shock. “Was she that girl who drove into a ditch just outside the university and_ died _? Oh, god,_ you’re _the one who killed her? How could you? You murderer!”_

 

_The accusing stares are now turned on the boy, who is whiter than a sheet, and his friends are terrified as well, backing away from him, some even daring to run. The boy himself shakes his head, mouth forming useless noise as he tries to throw off the falsehoods flung on him. The crowd congregates on him now, emotions running high, swarming him and forgetting all about Oikawa, his accuser._

 

_“Rapist.”_

 

_“Murderer.”_

 

_“Arrest him.”_

 

_“Beat him up!”_

 

_Oikawa backs away from the commotion, slipping away in the heat and confusion of the moment._

 

He shakes himself awake, shoving the unpleasant memories away.

 

(Memories, memories, dressed as a dream. So unreal, so far-fetched, is he sure they happened at all?)

 

(They did, he's sure they did. He couldn't have made that up, it was too ludicrous a situation.)

 

(But _hallucinations_.)

 

(No, no, it was probably real. His skirt still has the creases where he crushed it in panic.)

 

(It's real.)

 

The story he had concocted then wasn’t true, of course. But the backstory behind it was.

 

_The best lies are always told with a grain of the truth._

 

**_(Liar, liar, pants on fire.)_ **

 

A girl really had been raped on campus, and later, another girl (or the same one, no-one knew) crashed her car in a ditch and died. The mystery surrounding the incidents was so deep that no-one knew who the perpetrators were. It was only a simple matter to twist it to his own whims.

 

**_(Your nose is longer than a telephone wire.)_ **

 

He had been defending himself. And yet, he feels so _guilty_. Oikawa sinks onto his bed, covering his face with his hands and taking short, shallow breaths.

 

**_(Do you see the lives you've ruined?)_ **

 

He had falsely accused someone out of fear and panic, to protect himself and get out of a bad situation. It was a moment of desperate action, and he did not know how he had gotten away with it.

 

**_(The truth will always haunt you, until you set it free.)_ **

 

_What if they come looking for me to kill me?_

 

(Red, hate-filled eyes, burning with murderous intent.)

 

His heart flutters in his chest, and suddenly, he is light-headed. _I don’t want to die_.

 

He wants to call someone, anyone. He needs to get this burden off his chest.

 

He reaches for his phone, ready to hit the first button on his speed dial when he remembers that he _can’t_.

 

_Iwa-chan hates me for the smoking thing. I can’t talk to him._

 

But he can’t talk to Matsukawa, or to Hanamaki either.

 

Oikawa drops his phone and curls up on top of the blankets, fear biting at his heart.

 

**_(You will pay for taking a life you weren't meant to take.)_ **

 

_I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die._

 

_I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have done that. It was stupid and so, so stupid. Ugh!_

 

**_(Repay your debts, murderer.)_ **

 

His fingernails dig into his arms where he has been clutching at them in panic, the pain distracting and calming him slightly. An idea occurs to him, and he presses another row of half-moons into his arm. Every time he repeats this, the fear in his heart lessens a little, so he digs harder, more insistently, until his arms are red and the nail indents are swollen.

 

Oikawa sighs at the remaining fear in his heart, but it is small enough that he can shove it aside and ignore it.

 

He wonders how long he can live with the guilt before he actively combusts.

 

He’s never been good at keeping secrets.

 

**_(Are you dreaming, are you dreaming, are you dreaming, or awake?)_ **

 

When Suga asks him afterwards why his arms are so red, he lies and says that he has been practicing his serves and receives by himself. It’s not uncommon for him to do that, so his roommate nods and leaves it be.

 

(But the fear -- the fear never really goes away, so he keeps hurting himself, keeps cutting himself with his improvised method that doesn’t show up as large cutting scars or will hinder him from playing volleyball.)

 

**_(Are you seeing truths or lies? Is that real or not?)_ **

 

(He comes up with a new lie every day, to hide the crescent-shaped scars that appear on every inch of his body. _It’s fine,_ he tells himself. _It’s necessary. My fingernails are always short because of setting, so they can’t hurt me too much anyway._ )

 

(He knows it’s a lie, because every day, the blackness in his heart grows and grows -- until it encompasses him completely and drags him under.)

 

**_(The monster isn't under your bed, nay, it looks out of your eyes.)_ **

 

**_(What do you see in the mirror?)_ **

 

**_(Liar, liar, pants on fire.)_ **

 

* * *

 

Matsukawa sits with a bored expression, leaning back in his chair. His heavy eyes stare at the ceiling, counting each mark and dot decorating it. He leans back further, away from the blank laptop screen lying on his desk, waiting for him to type.

 

He kicks the edge of his desk with his foot, blinking as his chair tilts back. It collapses to the floor, bringing him down with it. The small bang of his head hitting the floor causes his vision to black out for a moment. He just lays there on his floor, his chair resting on its side next to him.

 

“Mattsun?”

 

Tearing his gaze from the ceiling, he slides his attention to the closed and locked door.

 

“Are you okay? We heard a crash.”

 

_Kenma and Kuroo._

 

(Kenma is over so much now, it's strange. He comes over after school and volleyball practice, comes over on the weekends.)

 

(Matsukawa is slightly jealous that they get to see each other so much. But at the same time, he's glad. He gets along with the both of them, and he enjoys their presence.)

 

“‘m fine.”

 

Matsukawa hears a small thump, lifting his head in confusion. It's probably just Kuroo placing his head against the door.

 

“Issei,” a smaller, calmer voice mumbles. The soft rapping of knuckles against the wood surprises him, causing him to sit up. “Please open up,” Kenma whispers.

 

He stares at the door, eyes glazing over as he considers the options. What's the point? They'd just force food and water down his throat. Force him to lay down and sleep for a reasonable amount of time. Force him to get up, go out, to take care of himself.

 

“Matsukawa Issei, open this goddamn door _right now, or so help me…_ ”

 

Matsukawa is on his feet, stomping over quickly to his door. He's never heard Kenma use that tone of voice, and holy _fuck_ is it terrifying.

 

Unlocking the door and creaking the door open, he stares down at his two friends with a raised eyebrow. He wordlessly steps back, motioning for them to step into the room.

 

Kenma graciously steps in, phone in hand as he makes his way to the bed. He instantly grabs the blankets, snuggling under them and sinking into the warmth. After getting situated, he pulls his phone up to his face, typing away.

 

Kuroo enters next, squeezing Matsukawa’s shoulder as he ventures in. He swiftly grabs the chair, placing it upright so he can sit in it, crossing his legs.

 

“Is this some sort of therapy session?” Matsukawa asks, weakly smiling. They both don't look amused at his attempt at joking.

 

“This is serious, Mattsun. We are very worried about you-”

 

“I know,” Matsukawa snaps, rubbing his forehead. “I _know_ this is serious. I'm not stupid.”

 

“We never said you were, but we _are_ worried. If Hanamaki and Oikawa were here—”

 

“Who?” Matsukawa says, face morphing into his deadpan expression. He narrows his eyes slightly, fingernails digging into his palm.

 

(He hasn't spoken their names in so long. He refuses to think of them. He refuses to let his mind wander. He knows it's his fault. He knows, he knows, _he knows_.)

 

Kenma and Kuroo share a look before Kuroo clears his throat. “Well, uh, alright. Then Iwaizumi, you know he'd worry.”

 

Matsukawa stiffens, hands uncurling. His shoulders slacken slightly, his eyes squeezing shut.

 

_Iwaizumi._

 

_Hajime._

 

That's right. He's not alone, no. He's not. He… He still has Iwaizumi.

 

“You need to call him, Issei. He’s hurting as much as you are,” Kenma says, glancing up from his phone. Matsukawa looks at him, furrowing his eyebrows together before he flicks his gaze to Kuroo.

 

“You got this, man,” Kuroo supplies, sending him a supportive grin.

 

Matsukawa nods slowly. He'd call Iwaizumi tomorrow. It's too late now, so sometime tomorrow… He'll call the only one left who will be willing to speak to him.

 

(He can't help but feel fear strike his every nerve.)

 

(What if he chases Iwaizumi away as well?)

 

(What if Iwaizumi leaves him, turns his back on him?)

 

(Matsukawa doesn't think he could handle that.)

 

~~~~~

 

“Issei! Issei! Open up!”

 

Matsukawa flicks his eyes over to the door, slowly getting up to unlock it. Strange, he doesn’t remember locking it. Must have been a reflex action.

 

The moment the lock disengages, a lithe blond slips in, heading for his chair and curling up in it. Small gold eyes blink at him as he closes the door and returns to his nest, drawing the covers over his head.

 

“Issei.”

 

He moves sluggishly, uncovering a slit just big enough for his eyes to peek out, fixing them on the kitten in his chair. “What.”

 

Kenma curls up tighter, but his eyes are bright, piercing.

 

Knowing.

 

“I picked up the phone for you. It was Iwaizumi.”

 

_Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi._

 

“And?”

 

Kenma blinks. “He wanted to talk to you. I told him no.”

 

_I don't want to talk to him--_

 

“You told him no?” Matsukawa is confused.

 

Kenma nods, the tiniest of bobs. “He hurt you. And what he would have said would have made it worse. So I said no.”

 

The ache in his chest spreads, though relief also trickles through his veins. If he doesn't talk to Iwaizumi, he'll never resolve it. But if he talks to him, he'll only be hurt again. “Thanks.”

 

Kenma blinks, then uncurls from the chair and hops onto the bed. “Do you want a hug?”

 

Matsukawa stares at him for a moment, the words’ meaning slowly sinking in. Then all of a sudden, they make sense.

 

Matsukawa _breaks_ , tears slipping down his cheeks even as he lifts his arms, the rarity and kindness of the offer snapping the loose grip he has on his sanity.

 

_How can someone else, someone I'm not close to, offer me comfort and love, when the ones I do love are estranged from me?_

 

_It's too much, I don't deserve this much, I am a vile worm, and I don't deserve to exist._

 

Kenma wriggles easily into his hold, curling up against his warm body with a satisfied hum.

 

Matsukawa stills, cradling him closer, carefully, gently, because he looks so frail and weak. Kenma's eyes are shut, adding to his youthful countenance, and all Matsukawa wants to do is protect the babe in his arms.

 

It’s weird to hold such a small frame when he’s used to larger bodies, but somehow it reminds him of a cat, of a small form that would only approach when he desperately needs reassurance, rubbing up against him and purring.

 

(Kenma was purring? What.)

 

The inanity of the thought, combined with the reality of his situation -- he’s lost them, he’s lost them, not just one or two, but all _three_ \-- sends him into fresh hysterics; shuddering, choking sobs that leave him without sufficient breath.

 

It hurts, it _hurts._

 

He knows he messed up, he knows he did wrong.

 

And yet, and yet-!

 

He had been foolishly hoping for forgiveness, when he knew it was impossible, hoping that the one person he had left would not reject him.

 

What was the point in trying anymore?

 

Numbness begins to spread through him, creeping over the pain and deadening his limbs.

 

If he doesn’t care any more, if he doesn’t think about it…

 

It should

 

All

 

Fall

 

Away.

 

He embraces the black abyss of unconsciousness, allowing it to dim his vision and throw a veil over his head.

 

~~~~~

 

_“Issei?”_

 

_A tired movement, a slow raising of his eyes. Issei… That’s him, isn’t it? That’s his name?_

 

_Or maybe it’s a word: Quiet…_

 

_Ah, it’s probably him. He’s pretty good at being quiet. It might as well be him._

 

_A small hand on his arm, a gentle tug. The limb doesn’t seem to have malicious intent, so he drags himself after it, allowing himself to be seated at a table, a bowl of porridge placed in front of him. His hand is lifted, numb, unresponsive fingers curled around a spoon._

 

_“Eat.”_

 

_The voice is firm, and he flicks his eyes up in slight defiance before they droop again, lacking the energy to finish the action. Ah, that was tiring. It’s better to just follow instructions._

 

_He lifts the spoon, taking bite after exhausting bite until the bowl is clean._

 

_Strange, he feels slightly more rejuvenated now._

 

_A bottle of water appears in place of the bowl, and again, small cat’s eyes peer at him. “Drink.”_

 

_He uncaps the bottle -- ah, what a waste of effort -- and drinks._

 

_Oh. It’s empty._

 

_Small hands pluck the bottle from his, then larger hands are on his shoulders, pushing him towards a door, which he dimly recognises as the one that leads to the restroom. The hands push him in and help him to strip, leading him under the showerhead and placing his hand on the knob._

 

_“Shower. We’ll be outside.”_

 

_It is a deeper voice this time, and he recognises it as his roommate too late -- the door has already closed behind him. He sighs and turns on the water, stepping under the cold spray, washing as quickly as he can._

 

_He finds clothes and a towel on the rack, drying off and changing without a second thought. Some part of him realises that he should be grateful for these small things, but he is too exhausted to act on it._

 

_He heads for his room after changing, pausing only to drop his dirty clothes into the laundry hamper. Oh. It’s full. Is it his turn to do the laundry?_

 

_He looks out of the window. Not yet dark. He could probably make the trip._

 

 _“Kuroo?” Wow, his voice is_ terrible _. He coughs a little and tries again. “Is it my turn to do the laundry?”_

 

_The deep voice -- Kuroo, he reminds himself -- calls back from the living room. “Yeah. It’s okay though, I can do it.”_

 

_“No.”_

 

_Ah, too soft. He tries again. “No, it’s fine. It’s my turn. I’ll go now.”_

 

_“You sure?”_

 

_“Yeah.” He picks the basket up and heads for the door, only pausing to grab his wallet, phone and keys. As he passes by the living room, he catches a glimpse of Kenma perched in Kuroo’s lap, playing a game. An uncomfortable feeling rises in his chest and he quickly turns away, refusing to give name to it lest it come alive and bite him._

 

_The laundromat is thankfully, quiet, and he manages to stare at the wash cycle the entire time, his thoughts muddy and unfocused, just how he likes it._

 

_If he doesn’t think and doesn’t feel, he won’t remember them--_

 

_A noisy couple comes in, breaking his dangerous train of thought. They talk and laugh loudly, sharing several over-the-top kisses and exclamations of love while piling their laundry into a washing machine._

 

_The machine that he is using beeps, and he quickly transfers the clothes to the dryer, retreating to the other corner of the laundromat, as far from the PDA couple as possible._

 

_Funny, they seem familiar somehow. Their actions, their words, that obnoxious tone--_

 

“I-sseiiii. Tell them to stop bullying me!”

 

Muted laughter, teasing grins, pale and tan hands, slender arms looping around his waist, a chaste kiss pressed to his cheek. And a feeling, swelling, blooming, overwhelming his heart--

 

_He shuts down the thought before it can progress further._

 

_He’s here to do the laundry, not to hallucinate._

 

_But as he stares at his hands, another vivid image comes to mind._

 

Pale hands, fingers roughened with calluses, trace a brush up and down his arms, painting with water, swirling pretty pictures into his skin.

 

_Huh. He knew an artist? Since when?_

 

A deep baritone, smooth as silk, sweeter than honey, soothing in its expression of a story, even though the text being narrated was drier than the desert.

 

_He wondered who that was. It had to be a guy, with the deepness of the voice, but females had deep voices too._

 

The fluffy brush dusts across his cheeks, a cold line is drawn across his eyelids, a thumb smudges the collected makeup, blending it into a tone that suits his skin. A rosebud mouth moves, mouthing words he cannot hear.

 

_Wow. He must have really loved that person to allow them to put makeup on him._

 

_He watches the spinning dryer for a few minutes before it hits him, the enormity of the thought that passed through his mind._

 

I loved someone?

 

_It’s a foreign thought, and he snorts at himself, at the inanity of it. No, what complete nonsense that is. If he had ever had a partner, he would surely remember them._

 

_He pushes the thought away, suddenly restless, unwilling to entertain the notion of love any longer._

 

_Love is stupid, and it is for fools._

 

_(He wants to love someone, and have them to love him back.)_

 

_(Ah, what a stupid and ridiculous thing to think.)_

 

Who would love you?

 

* * *

 

Iwaizumi stares emotionlessly at the movie playing on the screen, the bright images and special effects drawing no reaction from him despite it being his favourite movie. His fingers move restlessly across his thighs, grasping at wisps of memory, arranging them into the perfect bouquet.

 

_A hushed call in the middle of the night, silence ringing on both ends. Their tense breathing is the only thing that can be heard, until Iwaizumi breaks it._

 

_“So it's true?”_

 

 _Oikawa's voice is soft, bitterness lacing it._ “Yes.”

 

_Iwaizumi sighs deeply, pain and anger warring, but it is pain that wins. “Why?”_

 

“You're not the only one hurting, Iwa-chan. Leave me alone and let me cope with it in my own way.”

 

_“It's not good for you.”_

 

 _A harsh laugh._ “Matsukawa said the same thing.”

 

_“It's not good for you because you need all your breath on the court.” Iwaizumi whispers. “You had asthma before, I don't want it to flare up again because you didn't think for yourself.”_

 

 _Oikawa scoffs._ “Are you my mum, Iwa-chan?”

 

_Iwaizumi leans his head against the edge of the table, breathing deeply. “No. I'm your boyfriend, and I love you. Please take care of yourself.”_

 

_Silence. And out of it, a quiet sniff. A mumble. Iwaizumi strains his ears, not sure he heard right. “What was that?”_

 

_“Nothing. Bye.”_

 

_The line disconnects, the empty dial tone ringing in his ear. Iwaizumi sighs and closes his phone._

 

_Oikawa is being childish, he knows that. But some part of him also knows that the brunet is right._

 

“I never needed to think for myself before, because I always had you.”

 

A particularly loud scene of the movie comes on, prompting him to raise his eyes. He watches it for a while, but then his fingers are moving again, threading through unseen stems.

 

_Another call, this time taken in a quiet park on his way back from school. The sun is setting, and the ducks are beginning to leave the water, heading back to their nest. The voice on the other end sounds so tired and defeated, as if he has already given up the fight._

 

“I’m sorry, Hajime.”

 

_“It’s not your fault.” Disappointment floods his veins, not at Oikawa, certainly not at Matsukawa, but at himself. “I’m supposed to be the responsible one. Let’s not forget that I’ve known him the longest, and I should know all his tricks by now, but even I didn’t see it coming. I don’t blame you.”_

 

 _There is a long beat of silence before Matsukawa speaks, and his voice is so soft and so pathetic that Iwaizumi wants to pull him into his arms to comfort him._ “But you should. It’s my fault all of this started.”

 

_“Issei-- Of course it’s not--”_

 

“It is,” _Matsukawa tells him firmly, and it has so much more force behind it than their earlier conversation that he pauses._ “I never told you why Takahiro hates me more than you guys now, right?”

 

_“I don’t think that’s the point? He must hate all of us.” Iwaizumi is confused._

 

 _A little huff, a cracked sob._ “Kuroo said he saw the poems on my door.”

 

_Iwaizumi keeps quiet, waiting for more to come._

 

“I write a poem for each of you guys and stick them on my door. One of them was a little haiku that I wrote for him when I was in a really bad mood and I was feeling a bit insecure, and I didn’t like the empty space on my door, so I pasted it there, but I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have.” _Matsukawa sounds like he’s crying again, but Iwaizumi is too curious, too invested in this, even though he knows it is a trainwreck waiting to happen. He_ needs _to know._

 

_“What did it say?”_

 

“...that I wasn’t sure if I loved him any more.” _Matsukawa whispers it, so quietly that it could have been lost on the breeze, but Iwaizumi catches it, and he finds himself gripping his phone tightly, disbelief and horror shocking through him after a second, as if his neurons have short-circuited along the way. He must have been quiet for too long, because Matsukawa hesitantly continues._

 

“Hajime? I’m sure you hate me now. I really shouldn’t have done that, but I was stressed and wasn’t thinking straight--”

 

_“Issei, I’m not going to lie and say I don’t hate you the tiniest bit right now.” Matsukawa’s voice cuts off, the softest gasp from the other side showing how he is holding his breath in tense anticipation. Iwaizumi tries to keep his voice even, tries to hold back the anger suddenly thundering through him. “I’ll call you back later when I’ve calmed down a bit, okay? This is a huge mess, and I don’t want to hurt anyone else.”_

 

_Matsukawa is so silent that Iwaizumi begins to wonder if he had already ended the call. “Issei?”_

 

“Yeah.” _The softest of breaths, the lightest feather, blowing past on a barely-there breeze._ “Yeah. Call me back later. Goodbye.”

 

_“Bye.”_

 

_Iwaizumi pockets his phone and hoists his bag higher on his shoulder, then breaks into a jog, and then a sprint, tearing round the park several times before heading back for his dorm, mind pounding restlessly the whole while._

 

 _How could he? Matsukawa is the one closest to Hanamaki, the one who loved him first, loved him best, was there for him when no one else was. How can he betray his best friend like this? How could he even_ dare _to think that he didn’t love him anymore?_

 

_(Iwaizumi knows that he can’t live without Oikawa, so how can Matsukawa no longer love Hanamaki when they are practically joined at the hip?)_

 

_His thoughts whir and buzz like a swarm of angry bees, stinging again and again until they are all dead and all that remains is the swollen, hurting throb of his brain. He refuses to think about it any longer, leaving all thoughts behind to enter an empty, numb state._

 

_Ushijima does not comment when he heads straight for the shower, and he takes the remainder of his silent time to think about it and calm himself down._

 

 _Matsukawa wouldn’t intentionally hurt Hanamaki. He was tired and stressed; that he understood, being intimately acquainted with stress himself. It did not excuse his actions, or his lack of considerate thinking, but at the very least, he_ did _seem regretful and apologetic._

 

_He dials Matsukawa’s number the moment he finishes his shower, determined to make amends._

 

 _The phone rings once, twice, three times, and a soft, monotonous voice answers._ “Hello?”

 

_“Kenma? Can I speak to Issei?”_

 

 _The boy hums, and is back within a second with an answer._ “No.”

 

_“No?”_

 

“Issei doesn’t want to speak to any of us, actually.” _Kenma explains._ “He’s locked himself in his room again.”

 

_A sharp ringing suddenly pierces his ear, and Iwaizumi pulls the phone away, gaping at the familiar sound. Dread shoots through him. “Is that--? The fire alarm?”_

 

“Yes,” _Kenma confirms, and then there’s banging from his end of the line, Kuroo’s shouts unmistakable._

 

“Bro! Matsukawa! Please! Open your door!”

 

“I think Issei is burning something in his room,” _Kenma confides, his tone knowing and slightly sarcastic._ “I wonder what it is?”

 

_Iwaizumi feels a tendril of fear creep up his spine. “Are the poems on his door still there?”_

 

_There’s gentle humming for a while, as if Kenma is purposely not answering him._

 

_“Kenma, please, tell me.”_

 

“No.”

 

_It take a while to process, to check if the other is responding to his plea or his question. “He burnt the poems?”_

 

_More humming. Iwaizumi is about to yell for answers when Kenma growls into the phone, his voice venomous, making him rear back._

 

“Issei didn’t mean for this to happen. Leave him alone.”

 

_“Of course he didn’t mean for it to happen,” Iwaizumi snaps. “We wouldn’t hurt someone we love on purpose. All of this started with a misunderstanding.”_

 

“I’m glad you know.” _Kenma scoffs, and it reminds him of Oikawa, and how he had done the same._

 

_Kenma says something, but he missed it. He blinks. “What?”_

 

 _He never thought he could actually_ hear _someone gnash their teeth over the phone._ “This is the last time I’m saying it. Hanamaki’s leaving broke Issei once. Oikawa’s nearly killed him. He confided in you, and you rejected him.

 

“If Kuroo can’t get into his room now, Issei will burn down this building and us in it because of his guilt. He is trying his best, but he keeps losing you guys. I hope you’re happy.”

 

_The call ends._

 

_Iwaizumi stares at the still glowing screen for a moment, then throws the phone at the wall in a fit of anger, where it bursts, bits of metal and plastic flying everywhere._

 

His fingers stop moving, and he stares at his imaginary bouquet; purple hyacinth and primrose and a single rose in bloom.

 

_I’m sorry. Forgive me._

 

_I can’t live without you._

 

_I will always love you._

 

He groans and drops his face into his hands, memories falling away like petals in the wind, leaving him empty and grey, like how he had been these past weeks.

 

(What _had_ happened, these past weeks? He cannot remember.)

 

(Class and work, work and class. Bouquet after bouquet, memorising anatomy and cures and diseases.)

 

(His phone, now repaired, but its messages gone forever.)

 

(No new ones have come in.)

 

A weight dips the cushions on sofa and he glances over to see Tendou, his red hair as tall as ever, his hooded eyes sly and knowing. “What?”

 

(Wow, his voice sure is croaky. When was the last time he had a glass of water? Or spoke out loud?)

 

Tendou clicks his tongue at him, shaking his head. “Iwaizumi-kun, as much as Wakatoshi respects your privacy and your need to grieve, I believe in no such thing, and I am here to call you out on your bullshit.”

 

“What?”

 

(What is he talking about?)

 

“So, first, nobody has _actually_ died, so get your ass off that couch and call them.” Tendou dips his head and pouts through his eyelashes, blinking owlishly.

 

“Second, how the hell did you manage to lose contact with not just one, but _all three_ of your boyfriends? Hanamaki, I understand -- the poor soul, coming all the way down here, only to return dejected and alone.” Tendou sighs dramatically, and Iwaizumi feels a tendril of anger push out from beneath his still mask. “But the others? What did _they_ do to incur your wrath, hmm?

 

“Third, a relationship takes _work_. That means open communication and yelling at each other but also saying sorry and working out your differences. But really, I think you already know all this, don’t you, Mama Hajime?”

 

The name irks him, and he lifts his head to glare at the other. Tendou grins.

 

“Do you know _why_ I tell Wakatoshi to never mince his words? Other than the fact that he doesn’t know _how_ to, but being straightforward has its merits, yeah? Your problems are worked out that much faster and with _much_ less drama, and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t take _two months_ to resolve.”

 

Iwaizumi stares.

 

Did he say two months?

 

Tendou sighs and sinks into the couch cushions. “Of course, you know, since it is _not_ resolved yet, it might take longer than two months, but really, I’ve seen you pining and pining, and it sickens me. I’m only here for five minutes every Sunday, and what I’ve seen these past two months? Not pretty. I’m not sure how Wakatoshi takes it, but he is a better man than I.

 

“So. I am being very kind here by giving you the wake-up call you so _desperately_ need, by telling you plainly to _get your shit together_.” He sits up suddenly, and Ushijima’s door creaks open the second after, revealing a very confused roommate.

 

“Satori? What are you and Iwaizumi talking about?”

 

“Oh, nothing, nothing. Just telling him to get his shit together, you know.” He bounces off the couch and takes Ushijima’s arm, dragging him to the door. He pushes his boyfriend out ahead of him, turning back to Iwaizumi with a final word of advice.

 

“Talk to them. Really. Just talk. Make sure you vent and everything, but also listen. You’re not stupid, Iwaizumi-kun, you know what to do.” He looks down at his phone, then slips out of the door with a wave. “Gotta go! Don’t want to miss our movie!”

 

The door clicks shut, and the sound seems to kick start something in Iwaizumi that has been slumbering for a long time.

 

He can’t keep pushing away and avoiding his problems. He needs to fix them, and fix them now.

 

He is responsible, and an adult. He can make good decisions.

 

Iwaizumi snatches up his phone and strides into his room, slamming the door and speed-dialling a number, pressing the phone to his ear nervously.

 

Outside, _Godzilla_ plays on, the audible beat of the fighting scenes in time with the anxious thump of his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if anything confuses you just know that it will be cleared up later most likely 
> 
> #EveryoneIsSuffering 
> 
> Safyre's Tumblr: [Sapphyrelily](sapphyrelily.tumblr.com)
> 
> Jamie's Tumblr: [Seijouho](seijouho.tumblr.com)


	10. Bandaid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter! ;)

Iwaizumi is off the train and practically racing down the sidewalk the next day. He throws half-assed apologies over his shoulder, mind too focused on the goal ahead of him. He reaches Matsukawa’s apartment in record time, panting violently as he bangs on the door. 

 

The door flies open, a pissed-off looking Kenma in its wake. He’s wearing nothing but boxers and a T-shirt with a cat on it (obviously Kuroo’s). 

 

Kenma narrows his eyes as his tired brain finally makes sense of the situation. He makes a move to slam the door shut, but Iwaizumi is both stronger and faster. He slams his hands on the door, keeping it from closing. 

 

Ignoring the stinging in his hands, he slips through the door, shrugging past Kenma. 

 

“Iwaizumi, this isn't a--”

 

“I came here to  _ fix things _ , okay?” Iwaizumi says calmly, giving Kenma a stern look. The younger male scowls, making a move to say something else, but Iwaizumi turns and walks away before he can. 

 

He passes by an unconscious Kuroo on the couch, cringing at the scratch marks on his back. 

 

_ Poor Issei, having to listen to that.  _

 

Shuddering at the unpleasant thought, Iwaizumi walks up to the door he knows is Matsukawa’s. He notices the missing poems that he had talked about. 

 

Sighing, Iwaizumi places a hand to the doorknob. He throws the door open before he can back out, stepping into the room. 

 

The blinds are closed, the lights shut off. There's a small pile of ashes on the desk -- probably the poems. There's also an uneaten sandwich there, a full glass of water lying peacefully next to it. 

 

It's dark, and gloomy. Just... _ really  _ depressing. 

 

He finally lifts his gaze to the bed, heart beating violently in his chest. The lump on the bed, curled into a ball, gives away his hiding place. 

 

“Go away, Kuroo.” 

 

Iwaizumi’s heart skips a beat. He hasn't heard that voice in person in  _ so  _ long. 

 

He feels like crying and smiling and laughing and-- 

 

This is how Hanamaki felt. 

 

“I'm not Kuroo, sorry.” 

 

The lump on the bed stiffens up. He then rolls over, eyes peeking out of the covers. In any other situation, Iwaizumi would probably die from the adorableness. 

 

But instead he leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms. 

 

Matsukawa is out of the bed in a split second, blanket thrown off his body. He stumbles across the room in two long strides, eyes glazed over as he desperately holds his tears back. When he places his hands to Iwaizumi’s shoulders, squeezing tightly, his eyes grow wide. 

 

“You're real?” He whispers, voice breaking. 

 

Iwaizumi offers up a wobbly smile. “Yeah, I'm real.” 

 

Matsukawa’s face slowly brightens up, but then he cocks his head, whispering to himself under his breath. “You… You’re… Iwaizumi?”

 

Iwaizumi’s heart breaks a little, even as he plasters on a smile. “You can call me Hajime.”

 

Matsukawa pouts, a tiny little frown that almost makes Iwaizumi combust from how cute it is. “Ha...ji...me…” He begins to smile. “I remember you.”

 

He pulls Iwaizumi in for a hug, burying his nose in his hair and inhaling deeply. “Hajime,” he murmurs, almost reverently, certainly lovingly, and then he sighs, pulling back with the most serene smile Iwaizumi has ever seen on him.

 

“I remember you.”

 

* * *

 

“I haven't forgotten anything, really. Just a lot of things have been pushed to the side, and some things are really hazy.” 

 

Iwaizumi hums at the explanation, glancing around the train. There's not a lot of people on, which he's grateful for. 

 

“That's what you get for not sleeping well,” Iwaizumi chides, “Fainting and hitting your head so much-- God, you could've easily died!”

 

Matsukawa laughs, looking down at his hands. This side of Iwaizumi, the stern, mother-like nature, is all too familiar. But familiar is good, familiar is  _ nice.  _

 

“I'm sorry,” Matsukawa whispers suddenly. He continues staring at his hands, his leg nervously bouncing up and down. “I should've taken better care of myself, I know that. Kuroo and Kenma tried to help, but I just...was really out of it…”

 

Iwaizumi hesitantly reaches out, placing a hand to Matsukawa’s shoulder. “I understand, it's been a rough couple of months. We’ve all made mistakes.”

 

“Hiro hasn't,” it's spoken in a soft whisper, and Iwaizumi isn't sure if he was actually supposed to hear that part. 

 

“I- ...I know, but we're going to fix it.”

 

“What if we can't, Hajime? What do we do then?”

 

Iwaizumi stares for a moment, furrowing his eyebrows. “Then we will go out knowing that we tried. And if he doesn't forgive us, then I won't blame him,” he pauses, tilting his head to the side. He removes his hand from Matsukawa’s shoulder, moving so that he can lace their fingers together. 

 

“The difference this time, is that we won't abandon each other again.”

 

Matsukawa blinks in surprise before a soft smile spreads across his face. “I missed you, a lot,” he mumbles, squeezing Iwaizumi’s hand gently. 

 

Iwaizumi huffs out a small chuckle. “I missed you, too.”

 

* * *

 

The door opens, Sugawara blinking tiredly at them. His face instantly brightens, eyes lighting up. 

 

“Thank god you're here! I'm meeting Daichi later and I would not feel comfortable leaving Oikawa here alone! So, in, in!” He says, pushing the door open more. 

 

Matsukawa and Iwaizumi glance nervously at each other before stepping inside, Suga closing the door softly behind them. The sound of the shower in the distance tells them where Oikawa is. 

 

“So...” Iwaizumi says awkwardly, “Why would you not feel comfortable leaving him here?” 

 

Suga sighs, running a hand through his light hair. “I think he's been hurting himself. I've tried asking about it, but...he...comes up with excuses all the time.”

 

Iwaizumi stiffens up, blood running cold. 

 

_ What?  _

 

“What?” Matsukawa says aloud. 

 

“Ah, I don't hear the shower anymore. You'll see for yourself soon, but I really gotta get going, bye!” And with that Suga waves, not giving them a chance to question anymore before he's racing out the door. 

 

Right as the front door closes, the restroom door opens. Oikawa walks out, only wearing a pair of sweatpants, toweling off his hair. He hums under his breath, walking right past Iwaizumi and Matsukawa. 

 

He makes his way to the kitchen, pausing to glance at the counter. “He couldn't even tell me in person that he was gonna see Dai-chan today!” He huffs, swiping the note up. He tosses it into the trash, turning around. 

 

The towel drops from his hands, his messy hair falling into place as he freezes. 

 

From where they're standing, they can see scratches along his arms. There are obvious half moons indented into his skin, and his arms are bruised slightly as well. The bruises could be from volleyball, but the other injuries…

 

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi says carefully, stepping forward. Oikawa stiffens up, reaching behind him to grip the edge of the counter violently. His eyes fill with panic, looking all around the room for some sort of escape. 

 

**_Tick tick tick tick, the hourglass runs out._ **

 

“We need to talk, Tooru--”

 

“I don't want to hear it!” Oikawa yells, throwing his hands over his ears. He sinks to the ground, burying his face in his knees as he sings loudly as to not hear them. 

 

**_Throw out your delusions, throw out your dreams. The nightmare is upon us, and now you'll know how to scream._ **

 

Matsukawa hesitantly kneels next to him, grabbing his wrist. Oikawa yanks away from his grasp, sinking in on himself. He doesn't care that he's acting childish, he just doesn't want to hear the words...he knows what they're going to say and he  _ doesn't want to hear it.  _

 

**_Liar, liar, pants on fire._ **

 

_ No, no, no. _

 

Iwaizumi grabs both his hands, tearing them away from his ears. Matsukawa then places his own hand over his mouth, silencing him. 

 

Oikawa struggles against them, tears rolling down his cheeks. 

 

_ They're going to leave me. This is it. This is when they end it for real-- _

 

**_Tick tick tick; your head is on the guillotine, the blade is sharpened red._ **

 

“We’re here to fix things,” Iwaizumi says loudly. 

 

Oikawa goes still. 

 

**_Listen; listen._ **

 

“We’re here...to apologize. And to help you, and- And to- Just-”

 

Oikawa sobs, finally looking up at the both of them. He takes his hands out of Iwaizumi’s grasp, wiping his eyes with the back of them as he tries to stop the onslaught of emotions. 

 

**_The nightmare's dark and closing in, her coat is black with sweat._ **

 

_ This isn't the end.  _

 

**_Your lies will always haunt you, they'll stab you in the back._ **

 

_ If they aren't here, if they don't want to make up, I'll deal with it later. _

 

_ But they're here. They're  _ here.

 

**_You can't escape…_ **

 

_ Begone. _

 

He lifts his head as he pushes away the devil's voice, and Iwaizumi and Matsukawa don't hesitate to wrap their long limbs around him, pulling him into a small group hug. 

~~~~~

 

Iwaizumi and Matsukawa stand in front of Oikawa, arms crossed as they wait for him to speak. 

 

“So?” Iwaizumi says. 

 

“Tell us why those are there,” Matsukawa continues, motioning towards the indents in his skin. 

 

**_(A black moth flutters and lands, sleep dust trailing from its wings.)_ **

 

Oikawa laughs nervously, looking away. “I, uh...deserve…it?” He whispers, forming it as a question. When he looks at the shocked and pained expressions of his boyfriends, he begins to wave his hands in a fit of panic. “I mean! It's not that big of a deal! I- It's not like I cut myself or anything!” 

 

Matsukawa steps forward, gently placing his hands on Oikawa’s cheeks. He stares at him for a second before shaking his head. 

 

“But you're still hurting yourself on purpose, it doesn't matter how,” he mumbles, his thumb gently stroking his cheek as a way to calm him down. “We- I love you, and I don't want to see you hurting yourself.”

 

**_(The dust floats, and settles, casting a hazy glow.)_ **

 

Oikawa feels his eyes water again, lip wobbling as he stares at Matsukawa. 

 

“I'm so-sorry, I-Issei, I just- I'm so sad and I didn't know what else to do.” 

 

**_(“We're here, we're here. We are your nighttime partners, and we will guide you.”)_ **

 

Matsukawa shushes him, placing a gentle and soft kiss to his lips. Oikawa gasps, the feeling so foreign yet so familiar that it brings a whole new wave of tears to his eyes. 

 

_ (I don't need you. Get out of my head.) _

 

He grabs the front of Matsukawa’s shirt violently, crashing their lips together into a harsh kiss. He desperately tries to convey his emotions. How much he had missed this, how much he missed holding hands, how much he missed hugging and snuggling and, and, and just  _ him.  _

 

Matsukawa is the one to pull away, panting slightly. He then laughs, leaning forward to place his head on Oikawa’s shoulder. 

 

“God, I missed you so much.” 

 

Oikawa smiles, running a hand through Matsukawa’s hair. He looks over at Iwaizumi, blushing at the fond look plastered to his face. 

 

_ (They are all I need.) _

 

(This is far from over. He still needs to apologize for hurting them. They still need to stitch up the wounds. They still need to go to Hanamaki, and apologize to him.)

 

(But they're getting there. They're  _ finally  _ getting there.) 

 

~~~~~

 

Iwaizumi stands by the door, tight smile on his lips. He doesn’t want to leave, not yet. They just started fixing things, just started healing...but classes are still a thing. Exams are over, yes, but the semester is ending in a mere couple of days, so it wouldn’t be wise to skip the last few days. 

 

And they can use those last few days to plan. 

 

“We’ll stay in touch, I promise,” Iwaizumi says, holding his pinkie out. Oikawa laughs a little, wrapping his pinkie around his to seal the promise. 

 

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” Oikawa says in a soft voice, chest filled with happiness -- something he hasn’t truly felt in months. Matsukawa stands by the door as well, shifting from foot to foot. It’s obvious he wants to say something, but he’s not sure if it’s his place to say. 

 

Oikawa sighs. “Just say it.”

 

Matsukawa jumps a little, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck as he bows his head sheepishly. “Well, uh, you see-”

 

“Yes?”

 

“If you...have, well,  _ urges _ , ya’know? To hurt yourself? Knitting...knitting could help? Maybe not knitting, but that’s what my mom did when she got depressed-- Not important, but you could do something not destructive? Something that’s not volleyball? You could, er, um, paint? ‘Hiro does that when he’s down-- Or you could read, that’s what Hajime does-- Maybe-”

 

Iwaizumi sputters in surprise. “I don’t read when I’m upset-!”

 

“Yeah, well, you read all the time, sad or happy.”

 

Iwaizumi grumbles under his breath, knowing he can’t really argue. 

 

Oikawa claps his hands, smiling brightly at his boyfriends. “Well, I’ll think of something to do, I swear! And, uh, don’t worry about…. _ that  _ anymore, because I don’t think I’ll be doing it anymore.”

 

(A whisper, a whisper, but it’s slowly fading away.)

 

Iwaizumi and Matsukawa both visibly sigh in relief. 

 

“Now, shoo, shoo, you both have got trains to catch!” 

 

Iwaizumi sighs, rolling his eyes. He really doesn’t want to leave. “When did you become responsible?”

 

Oikawa gasps in mock offense. 

 

“Alright, goodbye, Tooru,” Matsukawa says, smiling as he reaches over to ruffle Oikawa’s hair. He doesn’t complain, seeing as how his hair is still messed up from his shower. 

 

“Goodbye Hajime, Issei! I…” He smiles fondly, standing up straight. “I love you both very much!”

 

(A little sprout pushes out of the ground, its little green head lifted high.)

 

_ (If you have love and hope, you can do anything.) _

  
  


~~~~~

 

**[Tooru]:** whens the last time we talked in this holy shit ????

 

**[Issei]:** way too long 

 

**[Hajime]:** agreed 

 

**[Tooru]:** well !!! 

 

**[Tooru]:** ill hav u kno ive been thinking about how to fix things 

 

**[Hajime]:** Oh, please. Enlighten us. 

 

**[Tooru]:** y do i feel as if u dont believe me 

 

**[Hajime]:** I do 

 

**[Hajime]:** Just tell us your idea. 

 

**[Tooru]:** ok so 

 

**[Tooru]:** ive been knitting nonstop im addicted im srry its too lte for me 

 

**[Issei]:** u actually went through with that?? 

 

**[Tooru]:** ofc! It was brilliant 

 

**[Tooru]:** anyways so im gonna knit him a hat tht says something 

 

**[Hajime]:** What’s it going to say?

 

**[Tooru]:** surprise<3

 

**[Tooru]:** but thts not all  u n issei r going to sing and play the guitar for him 

 

**[Issei]:** serenading him i like it 

 

**[Hajime]:** I’m alright with Issei and the guitar, and the knitting hat thing, but? Singing? Me? Uh...I’m not sure…

 

**[Tooru]:** u have to 

 

**[Issei]:** for hiro 

 

**[Hajime]:** Ugh, fine. 

 

**[Hajime]:** I can also bring flowers? I’ve been learning flower language? 

 

**[Issei]:** ohohoho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**[Issei]:** tell me more 

 

**[Hajime]:** Hmm, nah. 

 

**[Hajime]:** Gotta keep the suspense. 

 

**[Issei]:** :(

 

**[Issei]:** now i gotta figure out something to bring frick frack 

 

**[Tooru]:** ur gift could be doing the frick frack with him 

 

**[Issei]:** I don’t think make up sex would be appropriate for this situation 

 

**[Tooru]:** ://// suppose ur right 

 

**[Hajime]:** Maybe someday, Issei. 

 

**[Issei]:** hopefully

 

* * *

 

**[Issei]:** so guys

 

**[Issei]:** I actually want to fess upp

 

**[Issei]:** get it all out here so we dont have more misunderstandings

 

**[Tooru]:** ofc!!

 

**[Tooru]:** what is it

 

**[Hajime]:** Yeah, just tell us. We’ll work it out

 

**[Issei]:** if ur sure

 

**[Issei]:** so, uh, you know how i was really depressed when we werent tlking rgt

 

**[Issei]:** sometimes kenma would come sleep with me

 

**[Issei]:** he let me hug him to sleeo

 

**[Issei]:** i just thought u needed to know

 

**[Hajime]:** Kenma did that?

 

**[Tooru]** :  _ kuroo _ let him do that?

 

**[Issei]:** surprisingly yes

 

**[Issei]:** it was kenma’s idea

 

**[Issei]** : apparently I’m warmer than kuroo so he prefers me

 

**[Issei]:** i feel used

 

**[Tooru]:** ok that was funny but still

 

**[Tooru]:** wow

 

**[Hajime]:** Did it help?

 

**[Issei]:** huh?

 

**[Hajime]:** Kenma sleeping with you. Did it help with your depression?

 

**[Tooru]:** iwa-chan that’s to direct!!

 

**[Hajime]:** We’re trying to resolve misunderstandings. I need to be blunt.

 

**[Issei]:** yeah

 

**[Issei]:** to both things

 

**[Issei]:** it helped, n thts true

 

**[Tooru]:** kenma-kun is surprisinly kind

 

**[Hajime]:** Tendou told me to talk things directly if I wanted less misunderstandings

 

**[Hajime]:** Talk things over* directly

 

**[Issei]:** he is, i’m surprised too

 

**[Issei]:** he’s more protective than kuroo lmao

 

**[Issei]:** I feel like a kitten and he’s the mama cat

 

**[Hajime]:** That’s nice of him

 

**[Tooru]:** awww

 

**[Tooru]:** also, hajime

 

**[Tooru]:** _tendou_ gave you advice

 

**[Tooru]:** ?

 

**[Issei]:** i was wondering about that too

 

**[Hajime]:** Ah, well, yeah

 

**[Hajime]:** He basically sassed me then told me to get my shit together

 

**[Issei]:** wow

 

**[Tooru]:** n where was ushiwaka during all this?

 

**[Hajime]:** Preparing for their date

 

**[Hajime]:** He had zero clue that Tendou was giving me advice

 

**[Tooru]:** ...sounds just like ushiwaka-chan

 

* * *

 

**[Tooru]:** ok so iremember somethin i should confess

 

**[Hajime]:** I’m listening

 

**[Issei]:** oh yes tooru confesses ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**[Tooru]:** it’s nt that sort!!

 

**[Tooru]:** but ok anw

 

**[Tooru]:** i finally get why karasuno calls suga-chan “sugamama”

 

**[Issei]:** isnt it because he has a sugardadchi? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**[Tooru]:** WAHT

 

**[Issei]:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**[Hajime]:** Continue, Tooru

 

**[Tooru]:** I need to scrub my brain with bleach

 

**[Tooru]:** thanks for nthing

 

**[Issei]:** ur welcome ;)

 

**[Hajime]:** Continue

 

**[Tooru]:** right ok so

 

**[Tooru]:** suga-chan is super caring??

 

**[Tooru]:** back when i was feeling depressed he was always nagging me but also cooked me nice food and gave me hugs and

 

**[Tooru]:** he tucked me into bed a lot

 

**[Hajime]:** Wow

 

**[Issei]:** wat a mom

 

**[Hajime]:** He’s stealing my job

 

**[Tooru]:** what

 

**[Hajime]:** But I’m glad someone was taking care of you

 

**[Issei]:** same

 

**[Hajime]:** What about that requires confessing though?

 

**[Tooru]:** eh

 

**[Tooru]:** oh

 

**[Tooru]:** he kissed my forehead a couple of times?

 

**[Hajime]:** He’s stealing my job

 

**[Issei]:** awww hajime u care ;)

 

**[Hajime]:** Ofc I do?

 

**[Tooru]:** :0

 

**[Issei]:** :o

 

**[Hajime]:** What.

 

**[Issei]:** u used short form

 

**[Tooru]:** an alien has possessed iwa-chan!!!

 

**[Hajime]:** It’s easier sometimes

 

**[Issei]:** :O

 

**[Tooru]:** :OOOO

 

**[Hajime]:** Okay but anyway, Suga’s stealing my job

 

**[Hajime]:** Only I get to kiss you on the forehead when tucking you in

 

**[Issei]:** o rly ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**[Issei]:** but ok to be honest

 

**[Issei]:** kenma does that sometimes

 

**[Hajime]:** What.

 

**[Tooru]:** what

 

**[Issei]:** he thinks he’s my mom, i tolf you

 

**[Hajime]:** Great, now I have to fight Kenma too

 

**[Tooru]:** aww hajime

 

**[Tooru]:** u dnt have to defend ur position we still love u best <3

 

**[Issei]:** yeah dnt worry

 

**[Issei]:** kuroo would never let kenma get away

 

**[Issei]:** n i love you  <3

 

* * *

 

**[Tooru]:** I've been in contact with Akaashi, and also talking to Oikawa, I've helped to plan a time for you guys. 

 

**[Issei]:** ??? 

 

**[Hajime]:** Oh, Suga. 

 

**[Tooru]:** Yes, hello! 

 

**[Tooru]:** Oikawa was going to tell you guys the plan but he fell asleep

 

**[Hajime]:** We have some things to talk about, Sugawara.

 

**[Tooru]:** huh? 

 

**[Issei]:** Hajime pls 

 

**[Hajime]:** Fine. 

 

**[Hajime]:** I'll save that conversation for some other time. 

 

**[Tooru]:** I'm confused, but ok 

 

**[Issei]:** whts the plan ? 

 

**[Tooru]:** oh, yeah! 

 

**[Tooru]:** This Saturday good for you guys? Akaashi is heading down Friday, and he’ll be able to drag Bokuto away for their date on Saturday while you guys talk to Hanamaki? 

 

**[Issei]:** sounds good 

 

**[Hajime]:** Alright, that works. I'm glad I have enough money to buy a ticket now. 

 

**[Issei]:** same 

 

**[Tooru]:** Oikawa has enough as well

 

**[Tooru]:** also I should warn you guys, Akaashi has taken a liking to Hanamaki apparently and feels the need to protect him or whatever so if you hurt Hanamaki any more, than Akaashi will have to tear your limbs off one by one. 

 

**[Issei]:** mamakaashi 

 

**[Hajime]:** God damnit, now I need to fight Akaashi, too. 

 

**[Tooru]:** what 

 

**[Issei]:** it's better if you don't ask. 

 

* * *

 

**[Issei]:** Kenma and Kuroo just gave me a pep talk 

 

**[Issei]:** well mostly Kuroo, Kenma just nodded and hummed

 

**[Issei]:** basically I feel like a five year old thts about to go to school for the first time 

 

**[Hajime]:** Tendou slapped my back and just said ‘You got this, my man.’ Before dragging Ushijima away. 

 

**[Issei]:** I would've taken that over a bad pep talk

 

**[Issei]:** Kuroo is nice but bad at being motivational 

 

**[Tooru]:** suga packed my bag for me 

 

**[Issei]:** what 

 

**[Tooru]:** I packed it then he checked it

 

**[Tooru]:** then he dumped everything out and repacked it

 

**[Tooru]:** like wtf he's not my mother 

 

**[Hajime]:** Well, you do always bring unnecessary things. 

 

**[Tooru]:** not true!!!! 

 

**[Tooru]:** also issei I'm wearing ur jacket now bc suga took it away to wash it 

 

**[Tooru]:** n it doesn't smell like u anymore :( 

 

**[Issei]:** have you not washed it at all? This whole year?

 

**[Tooru]:** maybe? 

 

**[Hajime]:** That's disgusting, Tooru. 

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** Almost there, Issei. 

 

**[Issei]:** alright can't wait

 

**[Tooru]:** :DDD

 

**[Hajime]:** There's a screaming baby. Is this punishment? 

 

**[Issei]:** Thats possible. 

 

**[Hajime]:** ah well maybe I'll nap

 

**[Issei]:** wait how much longer till u get here

 

**[Hajime]:** ten or so minutes 

 

**[Issei]:** then you can't sleep

 

**[Hajime]:** Ugh.

 

**[Hajime]:** Fine, fine. 

 

_ 30 minutes later  _

 

**[Issei]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Issei]:** he fell asleep on me (; 

 

**[Tooru]:** not fair!!!! 

 

**[Issei]:** haha well we will be there in forty or so minutes

 

**[Issei]:** my other shoulder will be waiting

 

**[Tooru]:** can't wait :) 

 

**[Issei]:** (: 

 

**[Tooru]:** :) 

 

**[Issei]:** (: 

 

**[Tooru]:** :) 

 

**[Issei]:** (: 

 

_ Cut for length _

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** I’m getting some food from the cafeteria, do you guys want any?

 

**[Issei]:** a hamburger

 

**[Tooru]:** fruit

 

**[Tooru]:** watermelon or something

 

**[Issei]:** why, tooru, i didnt know you were health conscious

 

**[Tooru]:** i just haven’t had watermelon in a while ok  >:(

 

**[Tooru]:** a watermelon’s too big for both me and suga-chan to finish

 

**[Hajime]:** Ovary, one hamburger and some watermelon

 

**[Issei]:** uh

 

**[Tooru]:** HAJIME??

 

**[Tooru]:** I tot you were gay not bi??

 

**[Hajime]:** What?

 

**[Hajime]:** GODDAMNIT

 

**[Hajime]:** OKAY**

 

**[Hajime]:** I meant okay****

 

**[Hajime]:** It’s a mistake, okay*, I am gay

 

**[Issei]:** It’s ovary hajime, we understand ;)

 

**[Tooru]:** completely ovary ;)

 

**[Hajime]:** I hate both of you

 

**[Tooru]:** no u dnt

 

**[Issei]:** yea u love us

 

**[Issei]:** but i legit choked on my spit when i saw that

 

**[Tooru]:** saem im dying

 

**[Hajime]:** I wont buy you food if you keep this up

 

**[Tooru]:** :(

 

**[Issei]:** ):

 

**[Hajime]:** Won’t*

 

**[Tooru]:** :’(

 

**[Issei]:** :’’(

 

**[Tooru]:** :’’’(

 

_ Cut for length _

 

* * *

 

**[Tooru]:** Akaashi just texted he just left with Bo 

 

**[Hajime]:** Okay, are we ready?

 

**[Issei]:** hold on im getting more food 

 

**[Tooru]:** youve been gone for ten minutes 

 

**[Issei]:** welllll i asked for freshly baked cream puffs 

 

**[Hajime]:** That’s genius. 

 

**[Issei]:** ty i try 

 

**[Tooru]:** just hurry up im waiting outside !!

 

**[Hajime]:** Okay, okay, sorry, I was washing my hands 

 

**[Tooru]:** Ovary, Hajime,just hurry up c: 

 

**[Hajime]:** Fuck you 

 

**[Tooru]:** maybe later<3

 

**[Hajime]:** You better hope Issei gets out there before I do. 

 

**[Tooru]:** （｀〇Д〇）

 

**[Tooru]:** issei pls hurry 

 

**[Issei]:** k

 

**[Issei]:** they just gave me the goods im omw 

 

**[Tooru]:** I SEE HAJIME IM GONNA MAKE A RUN FOR IT 

 

**[Issei]:** rip oikawa tooru 

 

**[Issei]:** he was very loved 

 

**[Issei]:** he’ll be missed greatly 

 

**[Tooru]:** pls hurry issei 

 

**[Hajime]:** Tooru where the fuck are you 

 

**[Tooru]:** Issseeeiiii im gonna dieeee 

 

**[Issei]:** goodbye (๑ ˊ͈ ᐞ ˋ͈ )ƅ̋

 

* * *

 

“Well,” Iwaizumi says, nervously looking up at the window that they know is Hanamaki’s, “This is it.”

 

“What if he can’t hear us?” Matsukawa asks, raising an eyebrow. 

 

As if fate is on their side, they all watch as Hanamaki’s window opens. He leans out, saying something that they can’t really hear. They watch as a small bird hops out into the open, chirping at him. 

 

“Well, I think luck is on our side!” Oikawa whispers, heart beating rapidly. 

 

Hanamaki is  _ right there.  _

  
They can’t let this chance slip through their fingers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this means the Suffering is over.
> 
> Safyre's Tumblr: [Sapphyrelily](sapphyrelily.tumblr.com)
> 
> Jamie's Tumblr: [Seijouho](seijouho.tumblr.com)


	11. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

Matsukawa places his fingers on the neck of his guitar, pressing down on the strings as he strums out the opening chords. Beside him, Iwaizumi is humming along, warming up his voice before the verse starts.

 

_3… 2… 1…_

 

**_This is my love song to you_ **

 

**_Let every woman know I’m yours_ **

 

_What?_

 

Hanamaki freezes, gaze dropping to where the melodious voice is coming from.

 

**_So you can fall asleep each night babe_ **

 

**_And know I’m dreaming of you more_ **

 

It has to be a dream. It has to be.

 

**_You’re always hoping that we make it_ **

 

**_You always want to keep my gaze_ **

 

“I’m hallucinating.” Hanamaki whispers, gripping tightly to the edge of his windowsill. “I’m hallucinating.”

 

**_Well you’re the only one I see_ **

 

**_And that’s the one thing that won’t change_ **

 

A thrilled chirp sounds from his shoulder, and Hanamaki twists his head slowly to look at the bird in the eye. “Chinchin, what are you doing in my hallucination?”

 

The bird chirps indignantly just as the tune changes, and another voice takes over the song.

 

**_I’ll never stop trying_ **

 

**_I’ll never stop watching as you leave_ **

 

Soulful eyes softened with fondness and burning with affection stare up at him, his beautiful voice sweeping him away in a vortex of memories.

 

**_I’ll never stop losing my breath_ **

 

**_Every time I see you looking back at me_ **

 

“Chinchin?” He whispers. “I’m not dreaming, right?”

 

_Chirp._

 

“Don’t you sass me. I have issues.”

 

**_I’ll never stop holding your hand_ **

 

**_I'll never stop opening your door_ **

 

The first voice joins in, adding his melody to the last lyrics of the chorus.

 

**_I’ll never stop choosing you babe_ **

 

**_I’ll never get used to you_ **

 

The guy not holding the guitar places a hand on his heart, the other hand stretching up to him, palm up, as if waiting for him to take it. Hanamaki feels tears prick his eyes, and both hands fly up to cover his mouth.

 

_I’m not dreaming._

 

 _They’re here, they’re_ here.

 

Matsukawa, looking horribly uncomfortable and hot with a scarf wrapped around his neck, his guitar slung across his body, large hands and steady fingers strumming the instrument, coaxing out the melody he now hears. He is smiling as he sings, and his eyes hold a well of affection, gazing at Hanamaki with such love that he has to turn away.

 

Iwaizumi is next to him, hands sweeping the air gracefully as he makes hand actions to follow with the song lyrics. A red flush is spreading from his face to his ears and neck, but he never lets up, continuing to join his voice to Matsukawa’s, their declaration of love rising up to twine around him and wrap him in warmth.

 

**_You are my life, I don’t deserve you_ **

 

**_But you love me just the same_ **

 

Is it him, or does he hear a waver in their voices?

 

His eyes flick to Oikawa standing behind them, clutching desperately at their bags and a bouquet of flowers, his expression terrified, and a thought occurs to him.

 

_Oh. This is their apology._

 

 _They_ don’t _know that I still love them._

 

**_And as the mirror says we’re older_ **

 

**_I will not look the other way_ **

 

A wild feeling rises in him, and he leans out of his window, ready to shout.

 

**_You are my life, my love, my only_ **

 

**_And that’s the one thing that won’t change_ **

 

_I love you guys so much._

 

“Stop it! People are looking!” He screeches, and Ochinko takes off, batting his head with his wings for startling him.

 

(Oh god, his face must be _so_ red, and that group of people that are stopping to stare--)

 

Matsukawa’s hands still on the guitar, cutting off the tune. Hanamaki breathes a sigh of relief, but then a _new_ melody begins, and he stares in open-mouthed shock as Iwaizumi grins sheepishly, a new song pouring from his lips.

 

**_Your hand fits in mine like it’s made just for me_ **

 

**_But bear this in mind it was meant to be_ **

 

_No. Way._

 

**_And I’m joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks_ **

 

**_And it all makes sense to me_ **

 

Matsukawa’s baritone takes over, a gentle croon that he would hear nowhere else.

 

**_I know you’ve never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile_ **

 

**_You’ve never loved your stomach or your thighs_ **

 

_Why this song._

 

**_The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine_ **

 

**_But I’ll love them endlessly_ **

 

Hanamaki hides his face again. “Chinchin,” he moans. “They’re so embarrassing and sappy.”

 

_Chirp!_

 

“Yeah okay, I still love them.”

 

**_I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth_ **

 

They are a duet again, harmoniously blending together, drawing admiring gazes from passers-by, and envious looks from singles walking on the street. Hanamaki isn’t sure if he’s more embarrassed or proud.

 

**_But if I do, it’s you, oh it’s you, they add up to_ **

 

**_I’m in love with you...and all these little things_ **

 

_Chirp?_

 

“Eh?” Hanamaki uncovers his face. “What?”

 

_Chirp._

 

“Why aren’t I stopping them? Because it’s embarrassing and-” He stops himself, peering at the bird. “Good point. Why _aren’t_ I stopping them?”

 

_Chirp._

 

“Okay, _fine,_ I’m _going._ ”

  
**_You can’t go to bed without a cup of tea_ **  


**_Maybe that’s the reason that you talk in your sleep_ **

 

He rushes out of their dorm, pausing only to grab the keys. He can still hear their voices as he runs down the stairs, their song haunting and beautiful.

 

**_You never want to know how much you weigh_ **

 

**_You still have to squeeze into your jeans_ **

 

**_But you’re perfect to me_ **

 

He bursts out into the sun and pushes his way through the gathered crowd, carelessly throwing elbows and apologies to get through more quickly. When he finally reaches the front, he flings himself on Matsukawa, because _if he can’t play, then they have to stop singing too, right?_

 

He does not expect Matsukawa to shift the guitar to catch him and twirl him around, does not expect Iwaizumi to keep singing a capella, does not expect the crowd to go wild and start cheering when Matsukawa brushes the tips of their noses together, a tiny smile on his lips. He _definitely_ does not expect the crazy whoops when he feels Oikawa and Iwaizumi wrap their arms around him as well, and he is probably going to burn up and die of embarrassment if they don’t get into the building _now._

 

He’s quick to gently pull himself away from them, ushering them through the crowd. He hangs his head in embarrassment, cringing because he knows he’ll get a lot of knowing looks, and he _knows_ his classmates will tease him endlessly. Hanamaki pushes them up the stairs, stumbling down the hallway until they reach his door. He slips to the front of the group, pulling out his keys to swiftly unlock the door.

 

He freezes right before he walks in.

 

_This is the first time they’ve been here._

 

_They’ve never seen where I live, they haven’t seen my room--_

 

Shaking his head, Hanamaki throws the door open and steps in, motioning for the other three to follow. He doesn’t speak as he closes the door, doesn’t speak as he leads them to his room, doesn’t speak as he steps in.

 

Ochinko chirps from the window, hopping into the room. He fluffs up his feathers at the strangers, standing a bit taller as Hanamaki makes his way over to the window. Scooping the small animal in his hands, he smiles a little.

 

“I’m surprised you waited for me to come back,” he mumbles, running a finger through his feathers. The bird chirps in response. “Okay, you’re right, I shouldn’t have thought so lowly of you.” Another chirp. “Yes, yes, I’m sorry.”

 

“You do know the bird isn’t actually talking, right?” Iwaizumi says, a hint of amusement in his tone. Hanamaki scoffs in mock offense, placing a hand to his chest.

 

“Chinchin and I have a special bond, thank you very much!”

 

He places the bird on his shoulder, turning to fully face his boyfriends again. He’s not really sure what to do now, because obviously they need to talk. He just doesn’t know how to start this conversation--

 

“We got you gifts!” Oikawa squeaks out, throwing his arms out in front of him. Hanamaki blinks in surprise, blushing as Oikawa shoves the flowers into his arms, setting the gift bag on his bed.

 

“Um-”

 

“Before you say anything,” Oikawa says, cutting him off, “Here you go.” He digs into the bag for a moment before pulling out a hat. It’s a black knitted beanie, the words “ _Tooru sucks_ ” sewed onto it.

 

Matsukawa laughs instantly, covering his mouth with his hand as he tries to keep quiet.

 

“Oh my god,” Hanamaki groans, taking the hat. He stares at it for a moment before shaking his head. “When did you even learn to knit…?”

 

Oikawa smiles, placing a finger to his lips. “That’s a secret!”

 

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, clearing his throat. “I got the flowers.”

 

Hanamaki gapes in shock, looking down at the flowers. “ _What?_ You- Wha- _How?_ _Why?_ ”

 

“I got a job at a flower shop.”

 

“Holy shit, are you serious?”

 

Iwaizumi lifts his shoulders into a shrug, offering up a weak smile. “It was the only thing available.”

 

Matsukawa steps forward before the conversation can continue, reaching into the bag. He pulls out a piece of paper, presenting it to Hanamaki dramatically. Hanamaki looks at the paper with raised eyebrows, slowly taking it.

 

A horrible (terrible, really), ugly picture of a bird is painted onto the paper. It’s not _that_ bad, he decides, as he realizes it’s supposed to be Ochinko. Lifting the paper to his shoulder, he shows the small bird the portrait.

 

“Don’t you look dashing?” Ochinko fluffs up his feathers, chirping loudly. “That was a yes.”

 

Matsukawa chuckles, shaking his head. “I know it’s bad, but I thought since Tooru was making something, then I should, too--”

 

“You guys didn’t have to get me anything, though.”

 

They all go silent, the mood instantly shifting to something uncomfortable.

 

_Well, we have to talk about it sometime._

 

“Listen, Takahiro,” Iwaizumi starts, nervously shifting from foot to foot, “I know what we did was wrong, and well, I don’t have a good excuse for _why_ , because I know hallucinating isn’t a good enough reason to ignore you, and I feel really _really_ bad. I just- I’m sorry, and I don’t...I don’t, uh, want to lose you?”

 

Hanamaki bites his bottom lip, eyes watering. “You never lost me,” he mutters. “We just...had a small break, is all.”

 

Suddenly, Oikawa hops forward, wrapping Hanamaki in a tight hug. Ochinko squawks in protest, flying off the shoulder he was perched on, and out the window.

 

“I’m so so so sorry, Hiro. I know, you don’t hate us but-- ...but we all feel so bad, and we just want you back, and we want everything to be back to normal, and-”

 

Hanamaki laughs, resting his forehead on Oikawa’s shoulder. “I forgive you guys,” he whispers.

 

(They have time to talk about everything.)

 

(They have all the time in the world to heal the wounds, then talk everything out.)

 

~~~~~

 

“Well, uh, these are pretty, but the colours kind of clash, don't they?”

 

Hanamaki wrinkles his nose at the bouquet in his hands, then offers a sheepish grin. Iwaizumi shrugs, but returns his smile.

 

“I picked them for their meanings, not for their colours. A differently coloured flower would have a completely different meaning.” Iwaizumi steps up in front of him, stroking a purple flower with his eyes lowered.

 

“Purple hyacinth, for _I'm sorry,_ and _forgive me_. I got as many as I could,” he waves helplessly at the _extremely_ purple bouquet, “In hopes that it conveys what I'm trying to say.”

 

He fingers a pale yellow flower’s petals next. “Primrose, for _I can't live without you._ Because I can't.” Iwaizumi looks up through his eyelashes, nibbling on his lip. “You are a third of me, and just like I can't live without Tooru or Issei, I can't live without you. There is this cut-out hole in my soul that is shaped like you, and only you can fill it up.”

 

Hanamaki can feel the tears burning behind his eyes, waiting to fall. _Hajime, you sap._

 

Iwaizumi continues, tracing the edges of the only red flower in the purple and yellow bouquet. “A single red rose means _I will always love you_. And it's true. It's always been. Takahiro, you are perfect the way you are, and I will love you until the day I cease to exist.”

 

Iwaizumi drops his hand and takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I am eternally sorry for what we did- What _I_ did to you. Flowers aren't enough to make it up, a million apologies will never cover it, but I hope you can forgive me, and take me as I am, a failure of a man, but one who will always love you, in spite of the mistakes I will make.”

 

Hanamaki tosses the bouquet on the bed and launches himself at Iwaizumi, locking his hands around his neck and burying his face in his shoulder. “Hajime, you sap,” he chokes out. “Why do you have to be so romantic all the time?”

 

Iwaizumi wraps his arms around Hanamaki's waist and hugs him tightly. “Someone has to treat you like the prince you were meant to be,” he mumbles. “And if I love you, then it's going to be me.”

 

Hanamaki feels a fresh wave of tears roll down his cheeks, and he clings on for dear life, sobbing and sobbing and sobbing until he runs dry.

 

When he finally pulls back, Oikawa is standing next to him, a paper-wrapped package in his hands. He smiles nervously. “I didn't know if it was appropriate, but I saw this, and I thought of you.”

 

Hanamaki raises an eyebrow and offers a wobbly smile before ripping the package open, gasping as he lifts the gift out.

 

It's a knee-length skirt with galaxy print, purple and blue and black, sprinkled with shiny stars and swirling white. It’s flowy and swishy and the material is _oh so soft_. It’s beautiful and it’s perfect, and Oikawa had gotten it for _him._

 

He throws his arms around Oikawa, squeezing him tightly, whispering his thanks. He lets go eventually, swiping at his eyes and tells him, “We’re going to go out, and I’m going to wear this while you wear that pretty floral one and your ugly alien crop top.”

 

Oikawa gives him a shy smile. “It’s a date.”

 

Hanamaki turns to fold the skirt and place it on his bed, and when he turns back, Matsukawa is standing in front of him, arms behind his back. He looks a little sheepish and ashamed as he says, “My gift seems kind of impersonal in comparison, but I hope you like them anyway.”

 

He brandishes a box from behind him and opens the top with a flourish, bending on one knee and offering the box up like treasure. “My lord, your dessert.”

 

Hanamaki gasps, because it _is_ treasure.

 

“You bought me cream puffs!” He grabs the box _gently_ and sets it on his bed, careful not to jostle its contents, then flings himself on Matsukawa, bowling him over.

 

“You _asshole_ , cream puffs are the most _personal_ thing you could ever get me! How could you think otherwise?!”

 

Matsukawa laughs and cradles Hanamaki carefully, offering a gentle smile. “Well, it’s just food, it will disappear once you eat it--”

 

Hanamaki smacks his arm. “Don’t insult my cream puffs,” he hisses, then crawls his way up Matsukawa’s body to press a sloppy kiss to each cheek and a chaste peck to his mouth. “You are officially reinstated as my favourite.”

 

“I’ll take what I can get.” Matsukawa hugs him tightly, and for a moment, all is right in the world.

 

~~~~~

 

“Not that I don’t like Ochinko, but you didn’t let him go?” Iwaizumi asks as he browses through Hanamaki’s textbooks.

 

“I did!” Hanamaki pouts as he pets the fluffy animal in his hands. “But he came back after a while, and how can I deny my child a home?”

 

Iwaizumi hums. “I’m glad he came back then.”

 

“Me too.”

 

Hanamaki wordlessly places Ochinko on Matsukawa’s hand, but the bird gives an indignant chirp and flies out of the window. Hanamaki chuckles weakly as Matsukawa pouts. “Why doesn’t he like me?”

 

“I don’t know?” _I might have complained to him about you guys a lot?_

 

_Nah, they don’t need to know that._

 

Oikawa walks over to the window and looks out of it, squealing excitedly. “Makki, did you know there’s a bird’s nest out here?”

 

“Yeah?” Hanamaki walks out and looks at the nest fondly. “Ochinko built it out here.”

 

“Chinchin built it?” Oikawa cocks his head in confusion. “I thought only female birds built nests.”

 

“Do they?” Hanamaki watches Ochinko plop himself down on the eggs after shooing off his mate. “I don’t know, I’m an arts student.”

 

“Well,” Oikawa points at the mate, “Male birds are usually brighter coloured than females, if we’re talking about the duller types. It’s to help them attract mates. Also, only female birds lay eggs.”

 

“Are you insulting my child?” Hanamaki glares at Oikawa. “Chinchin is a very pretty bird, I’ll have you know.”

 

Oikawa raises his hands placatingly. “Of course, of course.”

 

Hanamaki isn’t listening to him. “I thought all birds could lay eggs though.”

 

“No?” Oikawa peers over his shoulder at the two birds. “Females have ova, and ova are coated with calcium and stuff while they pass through the fallopian tubes before they are laid, and tadah you have an egg! So only females lay eggs.”

 

Hanamaki looks perplexed now, a frown marring his features as he stares at the pair of feathery balls. “Chinchin laid the eggs. I saw it happen.”

 

A shocked look appears on his face, and the colour drains from it so fast that Oikawa begins to worry. “Hiro?”

 

“Chinchin is a female bird,” he whispers, eyes haunted.

 

“Yes?” Oikawa cocks his head. “So you just found out your pet isn’t male but female--”

 

“Tooru, you don’t understand.” Hanamaki reaches out and grips Oikawa’s shoulders desperately, a horrified look on his face. _“I named a female bird penis.”_

 

Oikawa gapes at him, then bursts into hysterical laughter. Hanamaki shakes him, then sinks to the floor, burying his face in his knees. “No,” he moans. “This cannot be happening to me.”

 

“Wait, what? What happened?” The commotion has attracted Iwaizumi and Matsukawa, and they peer at the two of them, one rolling around the floor in tears and one bemoaning his misfortune.

 

“Hiro- Hiro- Ahaha I can’t take it, I’m sorry, it’s too funny!”

 

Iwaizumi turns to Hanamaki instead. “What’s Tooru laughing about?”

 

“Chinchin is a _girl_ bird,” Hanamaki whines. “I named a _girl_ after-- After a _male_ body part!”

 

“Oh.”

 

Then Matsukawa is on his knees with laughter as well, and even Iwaizumi is doubled over with exasperation and at the hilarity of it all.

 

There’s a small chirp that’s missed by three of them, and small claws dig into Hanamaki’s shoulder. He peeks at her through his fingers and moans again. “Chinchin, how could you betray me like this? I thought you loved me!”

 

She fluffs up imperiously and chirps again, hopping onto his hand and pecking lightly at it until he removes it from his face. The moment his hand moves away, she swoops in and pecks the corner of his mouth, then rubs her head against his cheek.

 

Hanamaki realises it’s silent, and looks up to see his boyfriends staring at him in awe.

 

“She loves you.”

 

“I can’t believe I’m jealous of a bird.”

 

“Hiro, I’m hurt, you didn’t tell us you were bi.”

 

“What?” He frowns at them. “I’m not bi--”

 

A sharp chirp from his hand has him looking back down, and the bird fluffs up even more, regaling him with an imperious look.

 

Hanamaki stares at her. “Chinchin, I love you, yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m bi- Argh!”

 

There’s feathers all over his face, and offended chirping, and there is laughter in the background again before another pair of hands reaches forward to help resolve his feathery problem.

 

It’s ridiculous and warm and _friendly_ , almost comfortable, and Hanamaki begins to think that maybe, _maybe_ , healing won’t take all that long after all.

 

~~~~~

 

Hanamaki sighs as Matsukawa takes care of the scratches on his cheek, given to him by Ochinko when she went through her hissy fit.

 

(Though, he doesn’t blame her, she’s probably stressed out from her whole nest and egg thing. And being a soon-to-be mother. He heard it can be very stressful.)

 

Right as Matsukawa places a bandage to the deepest scratch on his chin, he moves back towards the window.

 

“I just...I just _can’t_ believe this!”

 

“You're a father, Hiro.”

 

Hanamaki tilts his head, smiling at the nest. He is some sort of father, isn’t he?

 

Turning back around, he feels his eyes water. “I can’t believe I’m going to be a grandpa!”

 

Iwaizumi looks startled as he begins to sob dramatically. Oikawa looks half amused and half worried, while Matsukawa is trying not to laugh, his shoulders shaking.

 

That’s when they all hear the front door slam open, footsteps pounding against the floor. The door to Hanamaki’s room is thrown open a moment later, a pissed-off looking Bokuto in its wake. Akaashi stands next to him, face calm as his eyes scan the room.

 

“If Makbro is crying, I’m gonna punch someone!”

 

“Makbro?” Matsukawa snorts, raising an eyebrow.

 

Hanamaki, too distressed to realize what’s happening, leans out the window. “Chinchin, I want to be the first to see your children! I want them to see their grandfather right away!”

 

Bokuto furrows his eyebrows in confusion, slowly raising an arm. (He _did_ say he’d punch someone if he saw Makki crying.) He moves to swing at Iwaizumi, the closest one to him, but Akaashi is quick to stop him.

 

“I think he’s distressed about finding out that his bird is female, Koutarou.”

 

Bokuto makes a small “oh” sound, dropping his arm.

 

“Wait,” Hanamaki says, turning away from the window. “You both knew _he_ was a _she_?!”

 

Akaashi stifles his chuckle, looking away. “We really should leave you to catch up with your boyfriends.”

 

“Wait--” Hanamaki says, but Bokuto waves and quickly shuts the door.

 

Falling to his knees, Hanamaki tangles his fingers into his hair.

 

“ _I can’t believe this.”_

 

~~~~~

 

“I am betrayed. _Betrayed_.”

 

“Taka, you’ve said that like fifty times in the past hour.” Matsukawa slings an arm around his shoulder, tugging him closer to allow another pedestrian to pass by. He then turns to nuzzle the side of Hanamaki’s head, casually dropping a kiss on his temple. Hanamaki only hesitates for a second before leaning into his touch, folding his arms petulantly.

 

“Well, everyone seems to know that my baby is a girl except me. I am offended. I’ve been calling her the wrong thing all this time!”

 

Matsukawa chuckles. “If it makes you feel better, I wouldn’t have known either. Why do art students need to know science, eh?”

 

“Yeah!” Hanamaki brightens for a moment, then falls back into a sulk, leaning into Matsukawa. “Well, it’s because I didn’t know science that I’ve been calling her the wrong thing…”

 

“It’s okay, babe.”

 

Suddenly Matsukawa stiffens up and begins trembling, causing Hanamaki to look at him curiously. His boyfriend winks at him and pulls out his phone, opening up the group chat for him to read.

 

Hanamaki feels a pang when he sees the three of them joking in the chat without him, but promptly quashes the feeling. _I was the one who left the group chat. I can’t blame them._

 

Then he spots the joke that has Matsukawa struggling to contain his laughter.

 

He has to pass the phone back before he bursts out laughing, and grabs the end of the scarf still looped around Matsukawa’s neck to muffle his giggles. Behind them, he can make out Oikawa whining, “Hey, that’s not fair, I want to hug Hiro too!”

 

He’s not sure what comes over him when he drops the end of the scarf and looks over at them to say, “Aww, Tooru, it’s perfectly _ovary_ if you come here for a hug.”

 

He manages to catch Oikawa’s eyes widening and watch Iwaizumi’s expression tightening before Matsukawa is dragging him down the street, laughing hysterically as they try to outrun an angry Iwaizumi.

 

“Get back here!”

 

“Iwa-chan, wait for me!”

 

“Run faster, Hiro,” Matsukawa gasps between giggles. They dodge round a post box and loop round a lamp post. “Hajime is catching up.”

 

“No, no, this way, there’s a park here,” Hanamaki wheezes, and pulls him towards the gate. Their feet pound against the path and crash through the grass as they try to lose their tail. They can still hear Iwaizumi’s enraged roar behind them, so Hanamaki puts on a burst of speed and tugs Matsukawa towards a secluded grove of trees.

 

They have barely pushed through the small opening when Iwaizumi catches up and tackles them to the ground, and then they are rolling in the grass, shrieking and cackling loudly enough to scare off any birds roosting there. Iwaizumi sets on Hanamaki first, pinning his hands above his head and glaring at him, panting slightly.

 

“How did you even know about that? It happened just _this morning_!”

 

Hanamaki grins up at him. “You forget who my meme buddy is.”

 

Iwaizumi’s eyes slide off him, affixing on Matsukawa, who was sitting not too far away from them. “Issei,” he growls, and makes a move towards him, but Hanamaki stops him.

 

“Hajime, come here for a moment, I have something I need to tell you.”

 

Iwaizumi looks mildly confused and still pissed off, but he leans down enough for Hanamaki to put his lips to his ear.

 

Hanamaki grins and whispers, “I want you. To fuck me. Against the wall.”

 

Iwaizumi's grip slackens as his face morphs into humiliated horror, and all he can do is sputter a bunch of garbled nonsense. Hanamaki takes the opportunity to tug his wrists out of his grip and roll away, giggling madly.

 

Iwaizumi's face is burning red when he looks at him, mouth forming soundless words. It sends Hanamaki into a fresh fit of laughter, and he can just make out Matsukawa on the other side of the small grove smiling in amusement.

 

By the time Oikawa finally shows up, pout on his face, Hanamaki is clutching his stomach. He wheezes as tears leak down his face, trying desperately to stop his giggles.

 

“Thanks for leaving me!” Oikawa whines, crossing his arms and stomping his foot like a five year old.

 

Hanamaki just continues to laugh. Iwaizumi looks at Oikawa, trying to apologize, but only a strangled noise escapes his lips.

 

“Issei, what's happening?” Oikawa asks, turning to the only sane one left.

 

Matsukawa chuckles, lifting his shoulders into a shrug. “I have no idea, Hiro said something and it sent Iwaizumi into this state.”

 

Hanamaki finally calms down, shaking his head in amusement. “Man, I would've said that sooner if I knew it'd get a reaction like that.”

 

Iwaizumi sputters in response while Matsukawa and Oikawa frown in confusion. Matsukawa decides not to question it, instead he stands up, clapping his hands.

 

“Anyways, let's continue on!”

 

“But I want to know what Hiro said!” Oikawa whines again, his pout deepening.

 

Hanamaki lifts himself off the ground, walking over to place a hand on Oikawa’s shoulder. “I just told him what I wanted him to do to me.”

 

An understanding look crosses over Oikawa’s face before he giggles, smiling widely over at Iwaizumi who is still suffering on the ground.

 

“Aw, is Hajime embarrassed?” He teases, squeaking as Iwaizumi shoots him a deadly glare.

 

This time, it's Oikawa running away from Iwaizumi, Hanamaki and Matsukawa following at a slower pace.

 

~~~~~

 

Hanamaki sits across from Oikawa, Matsukawa next to him and Iwaizumi next to Oikawa. He sips his drink silently as they talk, nervously biting the straw.

 

He hasn't been this happy in so long…but he still feels uneasy. And he _hates_ it. Every time one of them try to initiate some sort of contact with him, he easily complies, but that feeling of uncomfortableness still lingers. He's been able to ignore it this long, but it's getting harder and harder as it grows.

 

“Taka?”

 

He looks up, blinking in surprise. Had he zoned out? He didn't even realize.

 

“Yeah?” He asks, taking another small sip from his drink.

 

“Are you okay?” Iwaizumi asks.

 

Hanamaki flashes them a wide smile, nodding his head. “I'm fine.”

 

“I think we all agree that lying causes  misunderstandings, and misunderstandings lead to a lot of bad things, so don't lie, Hiro,” Matsukawa says, gently elbowing Hanamaki’s side.

 

“Yeah, whatever it is, we can talk it out!” Oikawa agrees, smiling softly.

 

Hanamaki hesitates, nervously wrapping both hands around his drink. He stares at the lid, chewing on his bottom lip.

 

The thing is, he isn't mad at them. Not anymore, at least. He's mad at _himself_ for being so uneasy and uncomfortable.

 

He wants to feel the overwhelming happiness when he hugs Matsukawa. The joy he gets from tangling his fingers with Iwaizumi’s. The pure bliss he gets from resting his head on Oikawa’s shoulder.

 

He wants all these things back, and he _does_ have them back--

 

It's just different now. He doesn't know why.

 

(Yes, actually, he does know why. He's _scared_. He doesn't want to lose them, doesn't want to be away from them again. And if he gets too comfortable, then it'll hurt even more if this repeats itself. It'll be like a knife digging into his flesh, carving his heart out and tossing it to the side.)

 

He looks up, telling them as much. They all stare for a moment before Iwaizumi nods his head.

 

“I understand, we did kind of break your trust, so it's only natural that it'll take time to fix things.”

 

Hanamaki sighs in relief.

 

(Everything will be okay now. They’re going to work on this, they're going to be honest, they're going to fix things.)

 

(And sure, things might not be perfect right away. But that's okay, because they have each other, and as long as they have each other…)

 

(Well, then they'll be alright.)

 

~~~~~

 

Hanamaki juts his lips out into a pout, glaring at Ochinko from his window. Her mate chirps loudly beside her, feathers ruffled.

 

“He better treat you right,” Hanamaki mumbles, glaring at the male bird as it takes flight.

 

“You're going to be one of those annoying dads, aren't you?”

 

Hanamaki looks at Iwaizumi, grinning slightly. “If anyone hurts my little girl, I'll tear their throats out.”

 

Iwaizumi’s eyes widen in shock, mouth hanging open slightly. “I am oddly turned on right now,” he blurts out.

 

Hanamaki snorts, turning back to the window as his shoulders shake with silent laughter. “It's probably because I'm not usually serious about things.”

 

Iwaizumi hums, gently knocking their shoulders together. “Maybe that's it.”

 

Oikawa slides into the room, bags of takeout food swinging from his wrists. Matsukawa walks in after, a bag of drinks in his own hands.

 

“Dinner~!” Oikawa sings, setting the bags on Hanamaki’s desk. Matsukawa sets the drinks down, grabbing his own before he plops down on the bed.

 

“Alright,” Hanamaki says, settling down next to Matsukawa. He grabs his laptop, placing it on his side table so they can all see it. “What movie should we watch?”

 

Iwaizumi and Oikawa squeeze themselves onto the bed as well. It's a horribly tight fit for the small bed, but they somehow make it work.

 

“Obviously we should watch a horror movie,” Matsukawa says.

 

“Uh, or not.” Iwaizumi says quickly. “I say Godzilla.”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Yeah, no.”

 

“Definitely not.”

 

Iwaizumi frowns, crossing his arms. “I don't get what you guys have against it-”

 

“Let's just stick with Disney.”

 

Oikawa gasps, nodding in agreement. “Let's watch Tarzan!”

 

“I'm up for it.”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Why not.”

 

Hanamaki pulls up the movie, looking behind him to make sure they're ready. When he sees that they are, he grabs the food and hands it out, then presses play. He settles down after, wordlessly eating his food as the movie plays.

 

Throughout the process of eating and watching, Hanamaki finds himself sitting against Oikawa, warm arms wrapped around his waist. Matsukawa and Iwaizumi sit beside them, both fast asleep.

 

“They can't handle the Disney,” Oikawa whispers in his ear.

 

Hanamaki laughs a little, eyes focused on Aladdin (the third movie that night). “Only the true fans can handle a marathon this great.”

 

Oikawa hums in agreement, smiling as he absentmindedly places a soft kiss to Hanamaki’s shoulder. He then rests his forehead against the shoulder, eyes slowly closing.

 

As Aladdin and Jasmine sing _A Whole New World_ , Oikawa falls asleep.

 

“Ha, weak,” Hanamaki mumbles, smiling at the laptop screen.

 

(Sitting there, watching Jasmine and Aladdin sing, he can't help but smile.)

 

(Because now, he's pretty sure they'll be okay.)

 

* * *

 

Hanamaki rubs his eyes tiredly. He shuffles out into the hallway, looking around as if in a daze. He had woken up to find the bed empty, and at first he thought the day before was a dream, until he heard the noises from the kitchen.

 

“Oikawa-san, _please_ , you'll burn down the kitchen,” Akaashi’s slightly anxious voice says.

 

“Please, Aka-chan! I got thi-”

 

The room goes silent, motivating Hanamaki to wake up faster. He quickly walks into the kitchen, staring at the sight that awaited him.

 

Oikawa stands at the stove, the…pancakes? in front of him on fire. Iwaizumi and Matsukawa sit at the table, staring at the burning food. Bokuto is at the fridge, eyes wide with his hand hovering over the milk carton. Akaashi stares with a blank look, as if contemplating life.

 

“Why the _fuck_ are you all just standing there?!” Hanamaki asks, rushing to the stove. He gently moves Oikawa and Akaashi out of the way, turning the stove off. Not knowing what else to do, he gets a cup of water and dumps it on the flaming pancakes.

 

Turning around, he glares at the small group of people.

 

“Well, how about we go out for breakfast?”

 

~~~~~

 

Hanamaki gulps, watching as Bokuto loudly says his goodbyes to the other three. He nervously plays with his fingers, looking anywhere but at the train.

 

He doesn't want them to leave. What if everything repeats itself? What if they forget about him again? Push him to the side?

 

“If you hurt Hanamaki again, I will end you all very slowly and painfully,” Akaashi says in a monotone voice, eyes narrowed.

 

“Mamakaashi,” Matsukawa whispers dramatically. Akaashi shoots a deadly glare at him, causing him to stiffen up. “Okay, okay! You have our word.”

 

“Good,” Akaashi says, stepping to the side.

 

Hanamaki then steps up, smiling softly. “I'll miss you guys.”

 

Oikawa sniffles, throwing his arms around Hanamaki. Iwaizumi moves next, then Matsukawa, until it's one big group hug.

 

“We’ll keep in touch,” Iwaizumi promises, squeezing him tightly. Hanamaki wheezes out what he hopes is an ‘alright’.

 

They all pick up their bags, hesitating until they finally shuffle towards the train. Matsukawa grips his guitar case, knuckles white as he turns around to say one last goodbye.

 

His hand is raised in a half-wave when he stops, puts the case down and comes back over, pulling out something from his bag as he does so.

 

“I still have your beanie, so it isn’t fair of me if I keep this as well.” He holds out a folded black fleecy thing, and Hanamaki reaches out to it, fingers gripping the familiar material reverently. He immediately allows it to fall open, the familiar sight of the flowers easing an ache in his heart that he didn’t know had been there.

 

It’s a hot day, but he pulls the hoodie over his head anyway, allowing its comforting scent to envelop him. He tilts his head a little to grin at Matsukawa, saying, “You’ve been wearing it.”

 

Matsukawa shrugs. “It smelt like you, for a while. I didn’t want to wash it, but the scent faded anyway.”

 

Hanamaki punches his arm. “You are such a gross sap.”

 

“Anything for you, m’love.”

 

Hanamaki’s smile wobbles, and he jerks towards him, arms wrapping around his waist and burying his nose in the crook of his shoulder. “I’ll miss you.”

 

Matsukawa doesn’t hesitate, and squeezes him just as tightly, kissing the shell of his ear lightly before he lets go and steps away. He is about to say something more when the announcement for their train comes on; it is leaving in five minutes.

 

Hanamaki smiles again, lifting his hand to wave. He watches as they board the train, watches as the train begins to move. He doesn't stop watching until the train is out of sight, leaving him to stand there with Bokuto and Akaashi.

  
(Hanamaki can't help but laugh at himself. It's only been about five minutes, yet he already misses them.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for fixing things :D 
> 
> Songs Used:  
> Never Stop by Safetysuit  
> Little Things by One Direction 
> 
> Safyre's Tumblr: [Sapphyrelily](sapphyrelily.tumblr.com)
> 
> Jamie's Tumblr: [Seijouho](seijouho.tumblr.com)


	12. Unbreakable Bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter! Hope you enjoy!

_Hanamaki Takahiro has been added to the conversation_

 

**[Issei]:** ur probs asleep but just for when u wake up

 

**[Tooru]:** is hiro ever asleep before us tho

 

**[Takahiro]:** Nope, never

 

**[Takahiro]:** only hajime goes to sleep this early

 

**[Hajime]:** Early??

 

**[Hajime]:** It’s two in the morning.

 

**[Issei]:** actually its 1:57

 

**[Hajime]:** I swear to god.

 

**[Tooru]:** ahahaha Issei does have a point

 

**[Hajime]:** It’s close enough to two, okay?

 

**[Takahiro]:** Yes, but 1:58 is not 2

 

**[Hajime]:** Okay, I’m too tired for this. Goodnight.

 

**[Tooru]:** nooooo

 

**[Issei]:** noooooo

 

**[Takahiro]:** nooooooo

 

**[Tooru]:** noooooooo

 

**[Issei]:** nooooooooo

 

**[Takahiro]:** noooooooooo

 

**[Hajime]:** Ok, ok, jesus christ I’ll stay up.

 

**[Takahiro]:** yay :D

 

**[Takahiro]:** oh btw is it safe to assume tht yuo guys got there safely???

 

**[Issei]:** yes, it is

 

**[Hajime]:** But we all fell asleep and almost missed Tooru’s spot.

 

**[Tooru]:** luckily a woman tripped over my outstretched legs and made a loud noise so I woke up

 

**[Takahiro]:** …...is tht woman ok

 

**[Issei]:** yes she is

 

**[Tooru]:** apprently shes in my fanclub and so all it took was a selfie with her to get her to forgive me

 

**[Takahiro]:** unbelieveable

 

**[Hajime]:** It was very odd to see that happen though.

 

**[Tooru]:** ur all just jealous へ‿(ツ)‿ㄏ

 

**[Takahiro]:** ofc i am i cant have some shady girl stealing u

 

**[Issei]:** yea we cant lose u to some secret serial killer

 

**[Hajime]:** I highly doubt that girl was a serial killer, but I agree.

 

**[Tooru]:** o

 

**[Tooru]:** well no need for u guys to worry<333

 

**[Tooru]:** i only have eyes for u three ♡(ŐωŐ人)

 

**[Issei]:** i love u too

 

**[Takahiro]:** ily2<333

 

**[Hajime]:** I _guess_ I love you as well

 

**[Tooru]:** haJIME D:

 

**[Hajime]:** I’m just kidding

 

**[Hajime]:** Of course I love you, you dork.

 

**[Tooru]:** c:

 

**[Tooru]:** <333

 

* * *

 

**[Takahiro]:** random question but when u guys came down here

 

**[Takahiro]:** issei was wearing a scarf

 

**[Takahiro]:** and i didnt question it but now tht i think about it

 

**[Takahiro]:** it was v random and strange

 

**[Issei]:** oh, Tooru gave it to me

 

**[Tooru]:** ye knitting is one of my new talents

 

**[Takahiro]:** ah okay makes sense

 

**[Takahiro]:** but why?

 

**[Issei]:** um.

 

**[Tooru]:** well.

 

**[Hajime]:** Might as well tell him, he’ll figure it out sooner or later.

 

**[Takahiro]:**???

 

**[Tooru]:** well when the whole thing with u happened

 

**[Tooru]:** things happened...and uh…..Issei and I got into an argument sort of thing as well

 

**[Hajime]:** I’m going to be blunt, we all stopped talking to each other for a long time.

 

**[Takahiro]:** wha??

 

**[Issei]:** yea shit happened but everything is okay now

 

**[Hajime]:** We’re all back together and that’s all that matters.

 

**[Tooru]:** ye we’re all good now

 

**[Takahiro]:** well is there anything else I should kno

 

**[Tooru]:** would u look at the time i gtg

 

**[Takahiro]:** its the afternoon?

 

**[Hajime]:** He just doesn’t want you to know that he picked up smoking.

 

**[Takahiro]:** WHAT?!

 

**[Tooru]:** Hajimeeeee >.>

 

**[Takahiro]:** waht what what whA t???

 

**[Issei]:** he doesnt anymore tho its okay

 

**[Tooru]:** yeah its why i started knitting

 

**[Tooru]:** well it helps with me not smoking and with me not hurting myself anymore

 

**[Takahiro]:** W HAT ?!?!?!

 

**[Takahiro]:** YOU _HURT_  URSELF?!!

 

**[Tooru]:** hiro its ok its not a big deal

 

**[Takahiro]:** yes it is !!

 

**[Takahiro]:** was it because of me???

 

**[Takahiro]:** im so sorry i made u hurt urself and i made u smoke oh god

 

**[Takahiro]:** butur ok now??

 

**[Takahiro]:** is there anything i can do to help???

 

**[Issei]:** taka calm down its okay

 

**[Tooru]:** Seriously hiro, it’s fine

 

**[Tooru]:** I’m better now because I have all of you back, and me doing those things was _not_ your fault

 

**[Tooru]:** u didnt put the cigarette in my hand, u didnt make me dig my nails into my skin, ok?

 

**[Tooru]:** Okay?

 

**[Takahiro]:** yeah, yeah okay

 

**[Takahiro]:** Im sorry i wasnt there for you

 

**[Takahiro]:** or for any of you

 

**[Hajime]:** Don’t be, you weren’t in the wrong.

 

**[Takahiro]:** aahhh okay

 

**[Takahiro]:** I love you all.

 

**[Tooru]:** I love you all too<3

 

**[Issei]:** same

 

**[Hajime]:** ditto

 

**[Takahiro]:** u guys know how to kill the mood

 

**[Issei]:** ur welcome

 

* * *

 

**[Takahiro]:** so I had another qn

 

**[Hajime]:** What is it?

 

**[Takahiro]:** if tooru picked up kbitting n i have a beanie an issei has a scarf

 

**[Takahiro]:** wht does hajime have?

 

**[Issei]:** good point

 

**[Hajime]:** I'm curious too

 

**[Tooru]:** im actually working on it!!

 

**[Tooru]:** it's a surprise ;)

 

**[Issei]:** I'm not Hajime, tell me

 

**[Takahiro]:** i asked first, tell me!

 

**[Tooru]:** im not telling anyone, it's a surprise!!

 

**[Takahiro]:** fine, be that way

 

**[Tooru]:** that's not whT I meant!!

 

**[Takahiro]:** hmph

 

**[Tooru]:** hirooooo

 

**[Tooru]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Issei]:** gasp

 

**[Hajime]:** That's a nice cactus

 

**[Takahiro]:** nvm im not angry anymore

 

**[Tooru]:** hajimeeeee don't you remember iwa-chan? D:

 

**[Tooru]:** I named it after you!!

 

**[Hajime]:** I remember

 

**[Hajime]:** But it's weird to refer to it by that name when it used to be mine

 

**[Takahiro]:** aww

 

**[Issei]:** aww

 

**[Tooru]:** i can start calling you that again if you want!

 

**[Hajime]:** Uh

 

**[Hajime]:** No thanks

 

**[Tooru]:** iwa-chan Iwa-chan iwavhan iwa-chan~

 

**[Hajime]:** No

 

**[Issei]:** Iwa-chan~

 

**[Takahiro]:** iwachan <3

 

**[Tooru]:** I~ Wa~ Cha~ N~

 

**[Hajime]:** Enough

 

**[Takahiro]:** iwachaaaaannnn

 

**[Issei]:** iiiiiwaaaaaachaaaaannn

 

**[Tooru]:** iwachan iwzchan Iwa-chan iwchan

 

**[Takahiro]:** IIIWAAAACHAAAAANNNNN~~~

 

_Cut for length_

 

* * *

 

**[Tooru]:** hey guys?

 

**[Tooru]:** its been killing me not telling u n i think that since we’re all tlking in the chat again u deserve to kno

 

**[Hajime]:** What is it?

 

**[Tooru]:** dnt judge me until im done talking k?

 

**[Takahiro]:** ofc we woldny

 

**[Takahiro]:** wouldnt

 

**[Tooru]:** k ah si

 

**[Tooru]:** that time we werent talking? Quite a lot of stuff happened

 

**[Tooru]:** aside from the smoking i mean

 

**[Tooru]:** ther was this time i went out in a skirt n makeup

 

**[Tooru]:** n some guy tried to hit on me n threatened to rape me

 

**[Issei]:** ohmygod

 

**[Hajime]:** I will kill him

 

**[Tooru]:** please, stop

 

**[Tooru]:** dont talk about killing anyone

 

**[Tooru]:** let me fisnigh

 

**[Tooru]:** please

 

**[Hajime]:** Alright

 

**[Takahiro]:** we’ll be quiet

 

**[Tooru]:** so he threatens me

 

**[Tooru]:** n i get scared but angry too?

 

**[Tooru]:** so i threatened him back n said id rip his eyes out as self defence

 

**[Tooru]:** he called me a monster n a murderer

 

**[Tooru]:** n then i framed him for the rape n murder of one of the girls

 

**[Tooru]:** it was a story round campus, no one knws if its truw

 

**[Tooru]:** but i framed him n i felt so guilty afterwards cos everyone was gonna beat him n hi s friends up

 

**[Tooru]:** n i just ran

 

**[Tooru]:** n whn i got back to my dorm n my actions came back to me the voices started

 

**[Hajime]:** Voices?

 

**[Issei]:** shh

 

**[Tooru]:** they kept calling me a liar n that truth will out

 

**[Tooru]:** tht i was a monster

 

**[Tooru]:** n i was so scared

 

**[Tooru]:** its one of the reasons why i started with the self harm

 

**[Tooru]:** the pain distracted me from the voices

 

**[Tooru]:** they kept threatening to kill me, to show to the world that i was the liar and the murderer

 

**[Tooru]:** i was so scared

 

**[Hajime]:** Are you okay?

 

**[Tooru]:** im better after you guys came to see me

 

**[Tooru]:** they kept telling me that u guys would hate me and desert me but u didnt

 

**[Tooru]:** thats when i recognised them as delusions

 

**[Takahiro]:** do you stull hear them?

 

**[Tooru]:** sometimes

 

**[Tooru]:** but just a whisper

 

**[Issei]:** r u syre?

 

**[Issei]:** delusions are the scariest, i had a few when i was depressed

 

**[Hajime]:** Mine were from a lack of sleep

 

**[Tooru]:** im fine now, rlly

 

**[Tooru]:** they were difficult, thats y the self harm helped

 

**[Tooru]:** physical pain to remind me they werent real

 

**[Takahiro]:** im sorry, u wouldnt have had this if it wasnt for me

 

**[Tooru]:** wht? No no no

 

**[Tooru]:** its not ur fault

 

**[Issei]:** it’s not ur fault, it’s mine

 

**[Issei]:** i gave him stress over the smoking

 

**[Hajime]:** Then it’s my fault as well

 

**[Tooru]:** its no ones fault ok

 

**[Tooru]:** I just have voices sometimes

 

**[Tooru]:** just these were really bad

 

**[Hajime]:** Voices aren’t normal

 

**[Takahiro]:** ye they arent

 

**[Tooru]:** its ok the voices arent bad all the time

 

**[Tooru]:** some of them are just me saying tht was a really careless mistake, y did u do it, tht sort

 

**[Issei]:** but ur okay? Really okay?

 

**[Tooru]:** im ok for the voices

 

**[Tooru]:** but im still scared the guys will find me

 

**[Tooru]:** I accused the guy of rape and murder

 

**[Tooru]:** what of someone comes to find n kill me?

 

**[Tooru]:** i dont want to die

 

**[Issei]:** i dont think theyll come after u

 

**[Hajime]:** I’ll protect you

 

**[Tooru]:** but theyre big and n scary, they’ll find me for sure n then im DEAD

 

**[Tooru]:** i don’t want to die, i really dont want to die

 

**[Takahiro]:** issei’s right, they wont

 

**[Issei]:** you were in a disguise right? Skirt n makeup?

 

**[Issei]:** it’s hard to recgonise you in those if we didnt know u

 

**[Hajime]:** They probably won’t, but if they come look for you and try to beat you up, defensive actions are allowed in court

 

**[Takahiro]:** yea, defensive actions are protected by law

 

**[Hajime]:** Were they students?

 

**[Tooru]:** i didnt recognise them but there r a lot of students in college

 

**[Issei]:** thats true

 

**[Takahiro]:** tooru, this may not be helpful but you knwo

 

**[Takahiro]:** sometimes our fears are just that, fears

 

**[Takahiro]:** were those guys scared after you accused their friend

 

**[Tooru]:** yes

 

**[Takahiro]:** then they probably ran

 

**[Takahiro]:** its unlikely theyd come back

 

**[Issei]:** its true

 

**[Issei]:** most gangs are full of wusses

 

**[Issei]:** barely any bark n no bite at all

 

**[Hajime]:** If you feel uncomfortable, just shout and call for campus police. They can provide a bit of protection

 

**[Hajime]:** Call us too

 

**[Tooru]:** thank

 

**[Tooru]:** thank you guys

 

**[Tooru]:** u dont hate me?

 

**[Tooru]:** for falsely accusing the guy?

 

**[Takahiro]:** he threatened u

 

**[Takahiro]:** If i had more balls I would have fought him too

 

**[Takahiro]:** but i like your way better

 

**[Takahiro]:** psychological warfare

 

**[Tooru]:** it’s manipulative

 

**[Issei]:** but it kept u safe

 

**[Hajime]:** As long as you’re safe, nothing else matters

 

**[Tooru]:** thank you

 

**[Tooru]:** really

 

**[Tooru]:** i feel better now

 

**[Takahiro]:** talk to us whenever ok?

 

**[Issei]:** we’re here for you

 

**[Hajime]:** That’s why we’re in this together

 

**[Takahiro]:** we’re all in this together

 

**[Issei]:** once we know

 

**[Tooru]:** that we are

 

**[Takahiro]:** we’re all stars

 

**[Hajime]:** And we see that

 

_Cut for length_

 

**[Tooru]:** no but really

 

**[Tooru]:** thank you

 

**[Issei]:** we love you

 

**[Takahiro]:** we wont abandon u for anything

 

**[Hajime]:** You’re a part of us, and we won’t let one of us be hurt

 

**[Hajime]:** Never again.

 

* * *

 

**[Takahiro]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Takahiro]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Takahiro]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Takahiro]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Takahiro]:** LOOK AT THEM

 

**[Takahiro]:** IM A GRANDFATHER

 

**[Takahiro]:** ARENT THWY PRECIOUS

 

**[Issei]:** i hate to break it to u hiro but

 

**[Issei]:** nekkid birds are not high on my list of cute things

 

**[Takahiro]:** exCUSE YOU

 

**[Takahiro]:** they hatched like a while ago and they are adorBle!!

 

**[Issei]:** theyd be cuter with more feathers

 

**[Takahiro]:** oh n u were born with a full head of hair?

 

**[Issei]:** actually yes

 

**[Takahiro]:** what

 

**[Takahiro]:** i ws being sarcastic

 

**[Tooru]:** arwnt all babies born with hair?

 

**[Hajime]:** Human babies are

 

**[Hajime]:** Not sure about animals

 

**[Issei]:** see, I'm normal

 

**[Hajime]:** Human babies don't have that much hair when they're born though

 

**[Hajime]:** Usually it's light and wispy

 

**[Tooru]:** wispy is such a good word

 

**[Issei]:** I agree

 

**[Issei]:** but anw

 

**[Issei]:** my mom said I had a full head if curls when I was borm

 

**[Tooru]:** mayb that's y you have such thick hair now

 

**[Takahiro]:** eh

 

**[Takahiro]:** my mom said I had hardly any hair when I was born

 

**[Hajime]:** Maybe the hair you are born with translates into how much eyebrows you have

 

**[Issei]:** what

 

**[Takahiro]:** what

 

**[Tooru]:** Iwa-chan you are a genius

 

**[Issei]:** hajime how cld u say that

 

**[Takahiro]:** yea considering my lack of eyebrows and issei’s exceptional ones

 

**[Issei]:** thk u

 

**[Takahiro]:** i try

 

**[Takahiro]:** but rlly how

 

**[Hajime]:** I don't know, it made sense when I said it

 

**[Hajime]:** It sounded a lot better in my head

 

**[Issei]:** for such a smert guy Hajime, u sure make questionable conclusions

 

**[Tooru]:** I agree completely

 

**[Tooru]:** wait

 

**[Hajime]:** I seriously hoped you had forgotten by now

 

**[Issei]:** never

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** it is i ur lord and saivor

 

**[Hajime]:** Satori here to bless u all

 

**[Tooru]:** huh?

 

**[Hajime]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Takahiro]:** i suddenly know what an instant hard on is

 

**[Issei]:** y is hajime walking around practically naked

 

**[Tooru]:** hes not naked he has a towel around his waist

 

**[Hajime]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Hajime]:** from the back

 

**[Issei]:** thts y i said practically

 

**[Issei]:** holy shit back muscles

 

**[Takahiro]:** this isnt helping

 

**[Hajime]:** btw makbro iwaizumi has some v nice photos of u on here

 

**[Tooru]:** AHAHAHA

 

**[Tooru]:** wait

 

**[Tooru]:** i dont want someone who isnt one of us to see hiro naked >:|

 

**[Hajime]:** id totally bang u if i wasnt dating wakatoshi

 

**[Issei]:** pls do not hit on hiro

 

**[Hajime]:** im not im just pointing out thts hes v good looking

 

**[Takahiro]:** uhhh thank you ?

 

**[Hajime]:** np

 

**[Hajime]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Hajime]:** AHAHAHA HE DIDNT SEE ME COME INTO HIS ROOM N HE TOOK THE TOWEL OFF WOAH HES FUCKING HOT

 

**[Tooru]:** on one hand i want to say ty for supplying the photos

 

**[Tooru]:** but on the other hand, I dont appreciate u ogling our bf

 

**[Hajime]:** chilll chillllllll

 

**[Hajime]:** i appreciate a hot guy when i see one ok

 

**[Hajime]:** all of u r like

 

**[Hajime]:** sexy af

 

**[Hajime]:** but im highkey in love w/ wakatoshi so nothing to worry about here

 

**[Takahiro]:** thanks for the pictures

 

**[Takahiro]:** but pls dont look at the pictures of me ok i didnt even know he still had those

 

**[Takahiro]:** and in my defense i didnt even know tht he had taken them bc i was SLEEPING

 

**[Issei]:** anyways

 

**[Issei]:** more pictures would be nice yes

 

**[Tooru]:** just dont think u can do anything with those pictures

 

**[Hajime]:** r u implying tht id jack off to these photos

 

**[Hajime]:** bc u r 100% right

 

**[Tooru]:** jfc

 

**[Takahiro]:** please dont

 

**[Issei]:** i really dont want to have to kill you tendou

 

**[Hajime]:** shit bye hes dressed and he noticed me

 

**[Hajime]:** goTTA B L AS T

 

**[Takahiro]:** rip

 

**[Tooru]:** he wont be missed

 

**[Issei]:** savage

 

**[Hajime]:** God fucking damnit.

 

**[Hajime]:** You guys didn’t save those, did you?

 

**[Takahiro]:** yes i did and i still am having a problem over here

 

**[Issei]:** i could call u and help u out (;

 

**[Tooru]:** take ur kinks somewhere else

 

**[Hajime]:** Is phone sex actually a kink?

 

**[Takahiro]:** im not having sex in front of my daughter and grandchildren

 

**[Hajime]:**...are you outside?

 

**[Takahiro]:** no y would i be outside during night time

 

**[Takahiro]:** i just let her inside while her mate watches over her children

 

**[Takahiro]:** bc she misses her papi

 

**[Tooru]:** anyways

 

**[Tooru]:** im going to go for awhile bc these r v nice photos

 

**[Hajime]:** Tooru please

 

**[Issei]:** hes alr gone

 

**[Hajime]:** What did I do to deserve this?

 

* * *

 

**[Takahiro]:** You held my hand through all the darkness

 

**[Takahiro]:** Picked me up when times were hardest

 

**[Takahiro]:** I may be stuck in neutral wondering where to hench my bets

 

**[Takahiro]:** It seems the sky is falling n nothing else is making sense

 

**[Hajime]:** Takahiro…?

 

**[Issei]:** admittedly i dont know this song

 

**[Takahiro]:** I’ve got you to believe in

 

**[Tooru]:** oh

 

**[Takahiro]:** I still dream of running but i cant fill up my tank

 

**[Takahiro]:** you grabbed my hands and pulled me up

 

**[Issei]:** poured my soul into a cup

 

**[Tooru]:** til it runneth over

 

**[Takahiro]:** til it runneth over

 

**[Takahiro]:** I’ve got you to believe in

 

**[Hajime]:** Is… Is he serenading us through text?

 

**[Takahiro]:** When it feels like im nothing

 

**[Takahiro]:** you’re there

 

**[Takahiro]:** and god well at least that’s something

 

**[Takahiro]:** ive got you to believe in  <3

 

**[Takahiro]:** yes

 

**[Takahiro]:** yes i was

 

**[Takahiro]:** bcos i cant sing for nuts but ily guys so much and idk this song just says it all

 

**[Tooru]:** aww

 

**[Tooru]:** taka ily2!!!

 

**[Tooru]:** ♡♡+.ﾟ(￫ε￩*)ﾟ+.ﾟ

 

**[Issei]:** n here i thought hajime was the romantic one

 

**[Issei]:** ily so mcuh you sap

 

**[Takahiro]:** ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)˚๐*˟ ♡

 

**[Hajime]:** I’m just

 

**[Hajime]:** I’m going to die of diabetes

 

**[Hajime]:** Hiro it’s your fault

 

**[Hajime]:** But I love you

 

**[Hajime]:** ( ⌯◞◟⌯)♡

 

**[Takahiro]:** I

 

**[Tooru]:** an emoji (((( ;°Д°))))

 

**[Issei]:** damnit hajime

 

**[Issei]:** how do you always outdo us without trying

 

**[Takahiro]:** IM KEEPING IT

 

**[Takahiro]:** IM KEEPING THAT EMOJI N ITS LOVE 5EVER

 

**[Takahiro]:** ha j i me why r you so romanticccc

 

**[Hajime]:** Because I love you guys?

 

**[Tooru]:** *swoons*

 

**[Issei]:** /combusts

 

**[Issei]:** /no longer exists

 

**[Hajime]:** Wait what

 

**[Takahiro]:** u keep killing us with ur sappiness

 

**[Takahiro]:** my turn

 

**[Takahiro]:** /gets a heart attack

 

**[Hajime]:** WAIT STOP DON’T DIE

 

* * *

 

**[Issei]:** my turn to be sappy af so shh

 

**[Takahiro]:** oho?

 

**[Issei]:** shush or u dnt get the poem

 

**[Takahiro]:** okokok

 

**[Issei]:** this is gonna be longish just sayin

 

**[Issei]:** They say the galaxy is made

Of a thousand shining stars

_I_ think it's made

Of just three beating hearts

 

They say beauty is found deep within yourself

I think it's not just in you

But in everybody else

 

Because it takes one to know one

It takes a pair of eyes to see

And if they don't know what's beauty

Then that's a lie indeed

 

Have you seen the stares you get

The longing looks and gazes?

Do you see how people wish

To step up to you and say,

“Hey, I'm ____, you've brightened up my day.”

 

Do you see how people move

And gravitate towards your smile?

Your loving heart, your artist's hands

The purest soul inside a shell

 

You may think you're ugly

Not worth enough for success

But it's not just outside that matters

But alas I digress

 

I'll never have the words to say

To aptly describe you thus

But all you need to know and believe

Is that you have won my heart

 

**[Hajime]:** I'm speechless

 

**[Takahiro]:** longish he says. Thats practically an essay

 

**[Hajime]:** It's beautiful

 

**[Tooru]:** Issei  ╥﹏╥

 

**[Issei]:** ik it sucks, I'm working on it

 

**[Takahiro]:** omg no wht are u talking about its so beautiful

 

**[Hajime]:** Your writing gets better and better everyday

 

**[Tooru]:** yeah! Ur gonna be famous one day!

 

**[Takahiro]:** dnt forget us when ur famous okay

 

**[Issei]:** ofc I wont

 

**[Issei]:** if im famous ur gonna be famous with me

 

**[Hajime]:** I'll be first in line for an autograph

 

**[Issei]:** whut

 

**[Issei]:** u dnt have to queue??

 

**[Issei]:** I'll give u one for free

 

**[Takahiro]:** technically autographs are free

 

**[Issei]:** u get what I mean

 

**[Issei]:** anw no queue cos I'm not gonna be famous before hiro

 

**[Takahiro]:** don't change the subject

 

**[Issei]:** ovary

 

**[Tooru]:** pfft

 

**[Takahiro]:** ovary, I'll let it go this time

 

**[Hajime]:** Why

 

**[Hajime]:** Please just let it go

 

**[Tooru]:** let it go

 

**[Takahiro]:** let it gooooo

 

**[Hajime]:** Oh no.

 

**[Issei]:** cant hold it back anymore

 

**[Tooru]:** let it GO

 

**[Takahiro]:** LET IT GOOOO

 

**[Issei]:** (Hajime ur turn)

 

**[Hajime]:** Sigh

 

**[Hajime]:** Turn away and slam the door

 

**[Tooru]:** I DONT CARE

 

**[Takahiro]:** WAHT THEYRE GOING TO SAY

 

_Cut for length_

 

* * *

 

**[Tooru]:** Iwant a turn to be sappy too!!

 

**[Hajime]:** Alright. Go ahead.

 

**[Takahiro]:** ….tooru?

 

**[Issei]:** it's been five minutes

 

**[Takahiro]:** I hope he's not dead

 

**[Hajime]:** It says he's typing

 

**[Tooru]:** ok so I'm not naturally sappy like hajime and I can't write like issei and I don't know nice songs like Hiro so this is all I have but I really really love you all and Ik we have some problems at times but we always get over them and I think that makes our relationship stronger and typing this out I realize it's not that romantic or sappy or whatever but I honestly can't wait till we get out of college n move in together because waking up with u guys next to me is my biggest dream like I could lose volleyball n I'd be ok bc I'd have u guys

 

**[Hajime]:** That was long

 

**[Hajime]:** But it was nice

 

**[Takahiro]:** (╥_╥) Tooru that was so sweet

 

**[Issei]:** what r u talking about thts perfect

 

**[Issei]:** perfect amount of sap

 

**[Issei]:** (●♡∀♡)

 

**[Hajime]:** I love you, Tooru

 

**[Tooru]:** I love you too

 

**[Takahiro]:** <33

 

**[Issei]:** when did we all get sappy n disgusting

 

**[Hajime]:** Don't act like you don't like it.

 

**[Issei]:**...ok

 

**[Issei]:** ily guys too

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** So I've decided.

 

**[Tooru]:**???

 

**[Hajime]:** I am going to be getting a tattoo.

 

**[Issei]:** :000

 

**[Issei]:** #bless

 

**[Takahiro]:** What r u getting?

 

**[Hajime]:** well I'm going with Tendou and Ushijima next week to get the first one

 

**[Tooru]:** what is it going to be?

 

**[Hajime]:** Well, your names will be my first tattoo

 

**[Hajime]:** I'll get another one later on in life, one that Takahiro designs.

 

**[Takahiro]:** aweee<3

 

**[Issei]:** sap

 

**[Hajime]:** Yeah, well, whatever.

 

**[Tooru]:** he's embarrassed lmao

 

**[Hajime]:** I mean if it makes you guys uncomfortable, then I can change it?

 

**[Takahiro]:** nononono

 

**[Issei]:** ye I want my name on u

 

**[Tooru]:** sameeee (●__●)

 

**[Hajime]:** Alright, we can Skype after I get it so you guys can get a good look at it

 

**[Tooru]:** fuck this is gonna be bad for me tattoos r so hot

 

**[Hajime]:** Maybe that’s the real reason I’m getting it

 

**[Hajime]:** Just to bother you

 

**[Takahiro]:** hajime is secretly sadistic

 

**[Issei]:** hot

 

**[Issei]:** also btw did I tell you guys I got my ears pierced

 

**[Issei]:** since we are talking about these things

 

**[Tooru]:** WAAHHTTT

 

**[Takahiro]:** S H O W

 

**[Issei]:** haha I got them because I lost a bet with Kuroo and Kenma

 

**[Hajime]:** Show.

 

**[Issei]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Tooru]:** hnnnnn

 

**[Tooru]:** this is v bad for me

 

**[Takahiro]:** damn son u look fine

 

**[Hajime]:** Marry me.

 

**[Issei]:** okay

 

**[Hajime]:** what

 

**[Issei]:** yes I'll marry you

 

**[Hajime]:** I

 

**[Takahiro]:** WE R TOO YOUNG

 

**[Takahiro]:** WAIT TILL AFTER COLLEGE JFC

 

**[Tooru]:** I'm with Hiro on this one

 

**[Issei]:** well then this is just our promise to get married in the future

 

**[Hajime]:** what no

 

**[Hajime]:** I want to propose in real life, not over text

 

**[Issei]:** well u know my answer

 

**[Takahiro]:** this is a mess

 

**[Tooru]:** I agree with Hiro again

 

**[Hajime]:** After college we will

 

**[Issei]:** all of us?

 

**[Hajime]:** Of course

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** OIKAWA TOORU

 

**[Hajime]:** WHAT IS THIS

 

**[Tooru]:** what?

 

**[Hajime]:** DON'T YOU ACT DUMB

 

**[Hajime]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Tooru]:** ohhhh _that_

 

**[Tooru]:** its obviously a sweater

 

**[Hajime]:** THAT'S NOT WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT YOU SPACE MERD

 

**[Hajime]:** I SWEAR IM GONNA KILL UOU WHEN I GET TO TOKYO THIS WEEKEND

 

**[Takahiro]:** o shit nice sweater

 

**[Issei]:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

**[Issei]:** tooru ur a genius

 

**[Tooru]:** Thank you! see, someone appreciates my efforts!

 

**[Hajime]:** THATS NOT THE POINT YOU ASS

 

**[Takahiro]:** this is so funny, hajimes so mad

 

**[Issei]:** caps lock and no correction of mistakes

 

**[Issei]:** we have been blessed this day

 

**[Hajime]:** OFC YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE ITS NOT INSULTING _YOUR_ HEIGHT

 

**[Takahiro]:** this is the angriest I've seen hajime in a while, gj tooru

 

**[Tooru]:** thanks :3c

 

**[Tooru]:** I'm very amused too

 

**[Hajime]:** WHATEVWR GAVE YOU THE IDEA THAT ID LIKE A SWEATER THAT SAYS “SMOL”?!?!

 

**[Issei]:** but you r smol

 

**[Hajime]:** You're dying after Tooru when I get to Tokyo

 

**[Issei]:** oh no, the smol is gonna get me

 

**[Issei]:** taka, help me!

 

**[Takahiro]:** here, a stick

 

**[Takahiro]:** to poke the smol in the forehead abd keep it at bay

 

**[Issei]:** thank ye

 

**[Tooru]:** I'm so amused

 

**[Hajime]:** I swear to GOD

 

**[Hajime]:** ALL OF YOU ARE GOING TO PAY

 

**[Issei]:** oh? Did you hear something, hiro?

 

**[Takahiro]:** no, cant say I have

 

**[Tooru]:** maybe a smol was talking

 

**[Issei]:** gasps

 

**[Issei]:** u mean u can _hear_ smols??

 

**[Hajime]:** WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU

 

**[Takahiro]:** its ovary hajime, I still love u

 

**[Hajime]:** WILL YOU JUST

 

**[Hajime]:** ASJFHSLGHRUSBCLAOC

 

**[Issei]:** pfft

 

**[Takahiro]:** haha

 

**[Tooru]:** hahaha

 

**[Issei]:** hahahaha

 

_Cut for length_

 

* * *

 

**[Takahiro]:** I'm

 

**[Takahiro]:** so t i r e d

 

**[Hajime]:** Go sleep?

 

**[Takahiro]:** I can't ///:

 

**[Hajime]:** Why?

 

**[Takahiro]:** I'm trybif to fibisg this projcey but I'm getting no where

 

**[Issei]:** it's ok to take a break

 

**[Takahiro]:** u sound like bo

 

**[Takahiro]:** chinchin even looked worried which is crazy bc she needs to worry abuot her childran

 

**[Tooru]:** Hiro go to bed

 

**[Takahiro]:** djgskgjsnfnaotjwiw

 

**[Takahiro]:** so what r u guys doing

 

**[Issei]:** jus got out of the shower

 

**[Tooru]:** I'm surprisingly bout to go to sleep

 

**[Hajime]:** I'm proud of you, Tooru.

 

**[Tooru]:** thank

 

**[Issei]:** I think Hiro dissapesrd

 

**[Hajime]:** hopefully he went to bed

 

**[Tooru]:** well _I_ am now going to bed

 

**[Tooru]:** night night! ~<3

 

**[Issei]:** night Tooru ( ˘ ³˘)♥

 

**[Hajime]:** night

 

**[Hajime]:** <3

 

**[Takahiro]:** night oikawa-san!!

 

**[Takahiro]:** makbro passed out over his sketch book haha

 

**[Issei]:** Bokuto yo

 

**[Hajime]:** Did you move him to his bed?

 

**[Issei]:** Hajimom

 

**[Takahiro]:** yupyup!!!! Just thought I'd tell u guys so you don't worry!!!

 

**[Hajime]:** Thank you, Bokuto.

 

**[Issei]:** yeah thanks man

 

**[Takahiro]:** *finger guns* np

 

* * *

 

**[Issei]:** ok im mad

 

**[Tooru]:** abt what?

 

**[Issei]:** there is a mosquito inside this damn lecture theatre loke how the hell did a mozzi e get in here

 

**[Issei]:** I swear it’s bitten my arm like 3 time s and on my legs too

 

**[Takahiro]:** omg rip

 

**[Issei]:** why did i not wear jeans today

 

**[Hajime]:** Kill it

 

**[Tooru]:** yeah kill it!!

 

**[Issei]:** i would if i coULD FIND IT

 

**[Issei]:** i hate mosquitoes

 

**[Takahiro]:** spray with with deodorant

 

**[Hajime]:** Deodorant is not nug spray

 

**[Hajime]:** bug*

 

**[Tooru]:** cover your legs with something!

 

**[Issei]:** yea i did

 

**[Issei]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Hajime]:** Is that your jacket?

 

**[Tooru]:** wow thats smart

 

**[Issei]:** desperate tiomes call for desperate measyres

 

**[Issei]:** i hate mozzies now im itchy

 

**[Takahiro]:** rip

 

**[Issei]:** i’ll ket u guys know if I find the damn bug

 

**[Issei]:** im gonna spray it with deodorant if i find it

 

**[Takahiro]:** yes kill it with aerosols

 

**[Hajime]:** Okay. Now all of you focus in class

 

**[Tooru]:** yes mom

 

**[Takahiro]:** ok mom

 

**[Issei]:** no promises but ill try

 

_One hour later_

 

**[Issei]:** I CAUGHT THE BLOODY MOSQUITO

 

**[Issei]:** FINALLY

 

**[Takahiro]:** grats

 

**[Issei]:** I think there’s another one goddamnit

 

**[Issei]:** that one was too small to be the original

 

**[Tooru]:** so ther r 2 mosquiotoes?

 

**[Hajime]:** I’m glad you caught at least one of them

 

**[Issei]:** yea well now ive two bites on my anfle, one behind my knee, one on my calf, 3 on my arm, and im itchy all over

 

**[Issei]:** i hate mosquitoes

 

**[Tooru]:** rip the bug when you find it

 

**[Takahiro]:** sorry that ure suffering bro

 

**[Issei]:** rip the bug is right, imma tear it to bits when i catch it

 

**[Hajime]:** I don’t think that’s a good idea

 

**[Hajime]:** If it’s already sucked your blood, then it will smear blood on your hansd when you catch it

 

**[Hajime]:** hands*

 

**[Issei]:** GOT IT

 

**[Issei]:**  ugh ew

 

**[Issei]:** hajime youre right

 

**[Takahiro]:** good that u caught the bugger

 

**[Tooru]:** tht was a horrible pun

 

**[Takahiro]:** no it was the best pun

 

**[Issei]:** a v smert pun

 

**[Takahiro]:** truly the smertest

 

**[Hajime]:** Can you guys please forget about that?

 

**[Tooru]:** never

 

**[Takahiro]:** never

 

**[Issei]:** Never

 

**[Issei]:** Ovary, i’ll brb, gotta wash this blood off

 

**[Hajime]:** *sigh*

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** Takahiro

 

**[Takahiro]:** ye?

 

**[Takahiro]:** wait am i in trouble

 

**[Hajime]:** When I can get to Kyoto you will be

 

**[Takahiro]:** whaaat

 

**[Takahiro]:** i didnt even do anything!

 

**[Takahiro]:** D:

 

**[Hajime]:** Well,

 

**[Hajime]:** Remember that time Issei got his brows threaded?

 

**[Takahiro]:** yeah?

 

**[Takahiro]:** o

 

**[Takahiro]:** ohmygod tooru and issei took you to get your brows threaded?!?

 

**[Hajime]:** Yes

 

**[Hajime]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Takahiro]:** u look rlly handsome wow

 

**[Hajime]:** Thank you

 

**[Hajime]:** I understand Issei’s pain now

 

**[Hajime]:** I hate brow threading

 

**[Takahiro]:** where r they anyway

 

**[Hajime]:** Issei’s trying not to scream

 

**[Hajime]:** How does Tooru take this so well?

 

**[Takahiro]:** i demand photos

 

**[Hajime]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Hajime]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Hajime]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Hajime]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Hajime]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Takahiro]:** thank

 

**[Takahiro]:** oh man issei’s in agony

 

**[Hajime]:** It’s kind of funny, now that I think about it

 

**[Takahiro]:** lmao since when were you the mean one?

 

**[Hajime]:** I’m salty because I just went through that

 

**[Takahiro]:** thts fair

 

**[Hajime]:** Okay they’re done

 

**[Hajime]:** Now I can kill Tooru

 

**[Takahiro]:** u cant i still want him

 

**[Hajime]:** Okay I won’t kill him _too_ badly

 

**[Takahiro]:** ovary, if you say so

 

**[Hajime]:** =.=

 

**[Takahiro]:** ;)

 

* * *

 

**[Takahiro]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Takahiro]:** llok at those balls of fluff :D

 

**[Takahiro]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Takahiro]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Issei]:** cute

 

**[Issei]:** now they look liek brids

 

**[Hajime]:** That’s really cute

 

**[Tooru]:** !!!

 

**[Tooru]:** BIRDIES

 

**[Takahiro]:** I KNOW RIGHT

 

**[Tooru]:** SO CUTE

 

**[Issei]:** Tooru’s intelligence just dropped dramaticallt lmao

 

**[Hajime]:** I agree

 

**[Tooru]:** I LIKE BIRDS OK

 

**[Tooru]:** HOW CAN YOU RESIST THE FLUFF

 

**[Takahiro]:** SO FLFUFFY

 

**[Tooru]:** FLUFF

 

**[Tooru]:** AAAAHHHHHHHH

 

**[Takahiro]:** AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

 

**[Tooru]:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

 

**[Takahiro]:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHA

 

_Cut for length_

 

* * *

 

**[Hajime]:** hello Satori here

 

**[Takahiro]:** hihi!

 

**[Tooru]:** where's haji?

 

**[Hajime]:** sleep :3c

 

**[Issei]:** pics or it didn't happen

 

**[Hajime]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Hajime]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Tooru]:** is he…..is he wearing the sweater I made him

 

**[Issei]:** omfg

 

**[Takahiro]:** HE IS

 

**[Hajime]:** huh?? He wears it all the time

 

**[Hajime]:** he switches out from that to the jacket matsukawa gave him

 

**[Issei]:** I feel blessed

 

**[Tooru]:** so do I

 

**[Hajime]:** lmao he loves those I never see him without one of them

 

**[Takahiro]:** what a sappy dork

 

_40 minutes later_

 

**[Hajime]:** IT'S JUST REALLY COMFORTABLE OKAY

 

**[Tooru]:** u sure that's the only reason

 

**[Issei]:** admit it

 

**[Takahiro]:** you like it

 

**[Hajime]:** I'm going back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

**[Issei]:** i reliassed i never introduced my Furless to you guys

 

**[Issei]:** _{one image attached}_

 

**[Tooru]:** you have a plant!

 

**[Hajime]:** Nice plant. Where did you get it?

 

**[Takahiro]:** omg

 

**[Takahiro]:** you named it _Furless_???

 

**[Issei]:** well

 

**[Issei]:** it’s a tribute to your eyebrows

 

**[Issei]:** or lack thereof :^)

 

**[Takahiro]:** i cant believe this

 

**[Takahiro]:** its perfect

 

**[Hajime]:** I think I’m missing something here

 

**[Tooru]:** same

 

**[Takahiro]:** oh i forgot

 

**[Takahiro]:** i gave him Furless when i went to visit

 

**[Takahiro]:** rmb i left each of you a gift?

 

**[Tooru]:** oh

 

**[Hajime]:** Ah

 

**[Issei]:** yeah that time

 

**[Hajime]:** I’m still sorry about that Hiro

 

**[Tooru]:** me too T_T

 

**[Issei]:** me three

 

**[Takahiro]:** ah, stop, don’t be

 

**[Takahiro]:** u guys already apologised n we’re better now right?

 

**[Takahiro]:** thts all that matters

 

**[Tooru]:** ╥﹏╥

 

**[Issei]:** m(_ _;m)

 

**[Hajime]:** What have we ever done to deserve someone as forgiving as you?

 

**[Takahiro]:** uh

 

**[Takahiro]:** it’s me who doesnt deserve you guys?

 

**[Issei]:** bullshit

 

**[Tooru]:** yeah we love you hw cld u think that?

 

**[Hajime]:** You’re the best of us

 

**[Takahiro]:** no?

 

**[Takahiro]:** i think thats u

 

**[Tooru]:** iwa-chan’s the responsible one

 

**[Issei]:** ur the one who is a legitly good person

 

**[Takahiro]:** i dont think there’s such a word

 

**[Issei]:** there is now

 

**[Issei]:** ur a good person now accept it

 

**[Takahiro]:** I

 

**[Tooru]:** youre the best!!

 

**[Hajime]:** You are perfect and I love you

 

**[Takahiro]:** …

 

**[Takahiro]:** ok fine

 

**[Takahiro]:** ＼(*T▽T*)／

 

**[Takahiro]:** I love you guys

 

**[Issei]:** i love u more

 

**[Tooru]:** no i love you more

 

**[Hajime]:** I love you the most

 

**[Issei]:** stop it, i was here frist

 

**[Tooru]:** fight me

 

**[Takahiro]:** I love all of you now stop fighting

 

* * *

 

Hanamaki swiftly presses the answer button, smiling brightly as three other screens pop up. Iwaizumi and Matsukawa are using their phones, locked away in their rooms, while Oikawa and him are using their computers.

 

“Hello!” Oikawa says excitedly, jumping up and down slightly. “Okay, everyone’s here, so show!”

 

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, but quickly moves to set his phone against his desk. He then rolls up the sleeve of his hoodie -- the one Matsukawa gave him -- and shows the camera his wrist. There, in neat writing, are all their names permanently inked into his skin. Two small hearts are used as spaces, separating their names.

 

An instant blush spreads across each of their faces, and Oikawa ends up having to look away.

 

“Okay, Issei, your turn. Show us your piercings!”

 

Matsukawa sighs heavily, moving so that they can see him fully. He then smiles as he watches Oikawa’s whole face turn a deep red, and both Hanamaki and Iwaizumi grow speechless.

 

“Holy shit,” Iwaizumi finally breathes.

 

“That’s so hot,” Oikawa all but moans, sinking into his seat.

 

“This is so unfair! You shouldn’t be allowed to be this hot!” Hanamaki says, dramatically smacking his hand against his desk.

 

Matsukawa laughs, sinking into his bed. They fall into easy conversation after that, talking about this and that.

 

Somehow, the conversation strays back to tattoos.

 

“I think Hiro would look good with a tattoo,” Oikawa says, smiling to himself.

 

“I already have one,” Hanamaki says as if it’s no big deal, reaching over to grab the cup of water he had gotten not too long ago. He casually takes a sip, holding back a laugh as they all stare at him with wide, disbelieving gazes.

 

“No you don’t.”

 

Hanamaki shrugs. “Don’t I?”

 

They all go silent. The silence stretches for about two minutes before Oikawa finally breaks it.

 

“I can’t tell if you’re joking or not!” He whines loudly, causing Suga to yell something at him. He turns around to stick his tongue out at his roommate.

 

“I’m not joking. Got it during our second year of high school.”

 

Iwaizumi frowns, furrowing his eyebrows together. “Then wouldn’t I have seen it?”

 

Hanamaki blushes at that, clearing his throat. It’s true, though. Iwaizumi _is_ the only one who has seen him completely naked. Sure, Matsukawa and him have fooled around, but that was always someplace dark and secluded, and they were always in a hurry. They never took the time to actually appreciate each other. And, well, him and Oikawa haven’t done anything like _that_ before.

 

“It’s not that big,” he says, leaning over to roll up his sweatpants. He then lifts his leg onto his desk, moving so that they can see. On his ankle is a small flower.

 

“Did you get that because of your name?”

 

Hanamaki laughs, shaking his head. “My aunt was the only one to ever support me with anything that I did, and she passed away our second year--”

 

“What? You never said anything!” Oikawa gasps.

 

Hanamaki waves his hand at that, and continues on. “Her favorite flower was a sunflower, so I got it on my ankle so that I could remember her forever, something like that. I snuck out and got it done, but it was worth it. It’s also small because I couldn’t risk my parents seeing.”

 

“But it’s still big enough to see,” Iwaizumi says, humming in thought. “I’m surprised I never saw it.”

 

“Honestly, I am, too. You can see it if I don’t wear socks, so that means people just don’t look at my feet.”

 

“Well, last time I checked, none of us have a foot fetish,” Matsukawa says.

 

“Thank god for that,” Oikawa mumbles.

 

“Are you going to get any others?”

 

Hanamaki tilts his head, thinking it over. “I don’t know,” he admits, shrugging.

 

The conversation then steers away, and they end up talking about random things that come to mind. None of them realize that it when the clock changes, revealing that it’s three in the morning, until Bokuto comes into the room, whining about the loud noise.

 

“Oh, shit, sorry,” Hanamaki says, quickly hanging up. He then reenters the call on his phone, disappearing into his room.

 

“Well, I think we should go to sleep.” Iwaizumi says, stifling a yawn. The other three whine in protest.

 

“I have an idea!” Matsukawa says, resting his chin on his pillow so he can look right into the camera. “Hajime can read us a story.”

 

“Oooh, I like that idea.”

 

“I agree, Hajime should read us a bedtime story.”

 

Rubbing his forehead, a loud sigh passes through Iwaizumi’s lips. “One chapter, and then you all go to bed?”

 

“Promise.”

 

“Cross my heart and hope to die.”

 

“Pinkie swear!”

 

Iwaizumi chuckles in amusement, shuffling around his room until he finds an okay book. He settles back onto the bed, propping his phone up with another book. “Alright, you guys ready?” Three different voices mutter out their ‘yes's.

 

Clearing his throat, he begins to read. “Chapter one:  _Tinks._ ”

 

“What kind of titl-”

 

“Ssshhh, Issei, ssshh.”

 

Iwaizumi continues on. “ _Your mother hollers that you’re going to miss the bus…”_

 

Hanamaki listens to the deep yet soft voice, letting his eyes slip close as he listens to the story.

 

“ _...Only, if it’s the last time you’ll ever see your mother, you sort of start to wish…”_

 

Hanamaki sighs, sinking into the warmth of his covers.

 

(He falls asleep, missing most of the chapter. But he doesn’t care, because he can honestly say that he’s _happy_.)

 

(Because, now, he’s one hundred percent sure that everything will be okay.)

 

(No doubt in his mind will change that.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Safyre's Tumblr: [Sapphyrelily](sapphyrelily.tumblr.com)
> 
> Jamie's Tumblr: [Seijouho](seijouho.tumblr.com)
> 
> Songs used in this chapter:  
> We're All In This Together by High School Musical Cast  
> Let It Go by Idina Menzel
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's stuck with the story the whole way! It means a lot to the both of us! :D


End file.
